Tag Archives: Dance Records

bottle service at da club


Last night, I was invited to da club to enjoy the full VIP bottle service experience.  Rolling six deep with a gold digger, a missed-connection, Pippi Longstocking, a purse watcher, a narcoleptic, and an adderall-popping cunt, we were stamped, wristbanded, and escorted past the velvet ropes to the special elevator that took us upstairs where we could gaze down upon the sweaty rolling stink writhing below.  This elitist bullshit is so not my scene.  Other than having a place to sit, I really don’t get bottle service.  Open carafes of juice are a bad idea around drunk people.  Is there an expectation that the six of us finish this bottle of vodka?  I just drank the bottled water because everything else appeared so unsanitary.  The best part of the whole evening was watching the kiddos roll their faces off down below.  I saw a titty come out, and it made my night.  Can we talk about the go-go dancers?  Why do they all still dance like they are juggling a spaceball?  90’s nostalgia?  Give me something new girls.  Give me something more interesting than your lower butt cleavage.  From my vantage point, with rare exception the dudes can’t dance.  The repetitive pounding house beats of the well-known DJ got super fucking old super fucking quick.  Really with the glow sticks?  The main redeeming factor was when the group of handsome gentlemen at the table next to us mistook me as 10 years younger.  I’m sure it was clubby darkness and context, but just let me savor the sad little moment, okay?  Thanks.  BETA A GOGO

Com Truise

COM TRUISE MELTCom Truise fucked my face off tonight.  COM TRUISE

Listen. Read. Snack.

DAFT PUNK RANDOM ACCESS MEMORIESEven though sometimes listening to Daft Punk feels a like a serenade from an ATM machine, I admit that I must unabashedly break into car dance everytime I hear Instant Crush featuring Julian Casablancas from Random Access Memories. CAR DANCEG-sus, Meg Wolitzer turns a memorable and meaty phrase in The InterestingsMEG WOLITZERFLAX4LIFE MUFFSWho doesn’t love a muffy in the morning?  These tough muffs look like something geriatrics eat to stay regular, but I love these hearty, rib-sticking, omega-filled Flax4Life Blueberry Flax Muffins.  Unlike most commercial baked goods, these not-too-sweet slow burners will tied you over until lunch.FLAX4LIFE MUFFIN


A Moment with Madge

Did you happen to catch the fleeting clip of Madonna’s new video Give Me All Your Luvin embedded into American Idol’s commercial break last night?  If not, the video is widely available online now.  It is rumored she’ll debut the track at the Super Bowl.  Thoughts?  The song was a bit of a throwback to her earlier work with a touch of Hollaback-girl era Stefani (a comparison Madge will loathe).Nicki left her attitude behind and brought her enthusiasm and tatas instead.  M.I.A. on the other hand looked a little ashamed to be there in a cheerleading uniform.  Some of us haven’t forgotten Toni Basil, okay.

Good wall walk sequence though. 

See You at Coachella Biatches!

Which of you persistent whores scored Coachella tickets?  If you succeeded, congratulations.  Both weekends sold out in 3 hours, with most of weekend one tickets snatched up during last year’s presale.  If you didn’t, no worries.  Demeter Clarc’s coverage will make you feel like you experienced the giant human stank that is Coachella first hand.With over 130 different musical acts scheduled to perform, only the most musically well-versed have familiarity with the entire roster.  For the rest of us who need a remedial, over the next few months we’ll explore the best of what the Coachella line-up has to offer.  Here’s the start of a cheat sheet to help you cram for your Coachella final in April.  Consider listening to the whole album out of respect for the effort as a complete work and (hopefully) a complete thought.

Artist: SBTRKT


Songs: Wildfire, Trials of the PastArtist:  Feist

Recent Album: Metals

Songs: Caught A Long Wind, How Come You Never Go ThereArtist: Beats Antique

Recent Albums: Blind Threshold, Elektrafone

Songs: Spiderbite, VardoArtist: EMA

Album: Past Life Martyred Saints

Songs: Breakfast, CaliforniaArtist: tUnE-yArDs

Album: w h o k i l l

Songs: Es-so, Powa

Last Night with Lykke Li

Hey music muffins.  Last night was all about Lykke Li and the Swedish Star didn’t disappoint.  She made us wait, but when she arrived on a sparse stage with white lights and super long black curtains, she served up the best of her 2 album catalog.What she wore?  Proving once again bodycon is dead, she appeared in a very interesting get-up indeed.  Mizz Li werked some kind of black pants (possibly a bodysuit?) with some flowy, scarvy type action.  There might have been a robe involved.  See below.  Very Stockholm.  This totally modern choice kept the focus on the music.  The hair?  Ombre bitches.The music was fantastic.  We had some serious bass moments, a dance break, some Kanye, and even a little Righteous Brothers.  She kept the energy up through the relatively short set and took off like a whirling dervish prior to breaking for the encore.  Lykke Li proved again her vocal nuance is no studio magic.  This girl can sing and she does so in an original, creative, and self-restrained way.  Her cover of Unchained Melody was enchanting perfection, and that song usually kind of annoys me.


Congratulations Kelis, Flesh Tone quenches my thirst for a perfect summertime club-banging masterpiece.  Serve it up windows down, wind blowing, stereo cranked.A dance record with heart, Flesh Tone touches on tough times of the past, but fear not, because Kelis ain’t one to wallow.Highlights: Home, Acapella, Scream, Brave…..actually this whole record is hot as fuck.  A true achievement.


Don’t listen to the hateful critics, most aren’t ready to embrace the angel food cake confection of Head First, Goldfrapp’s fifth studio record.  It like totally has an unapologetically retro feel.  Rocket blasts right out of the early 80’s.  Sometimes a girl needs a little froth, and if you are in the right mood this dance album will whip you up.  Give it a whirl during a workout.

Standout tracks:  Shiny and Warm and Alive.