Monday, January 30th, 2012
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Filed in FASHION, FILM, STAR, TV
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Tags: Alexander McQueen, Anna Wintour, Armani, Bad Fashion, Badgley Mischka, Balenciaga, Brad Pitt, Busy Phillips, Calvin Klein, David Meister, Diane Lane, Elie Saab, Emilio Pucci, Emily Blunt, Emma Stone, George Clooney, Giambattista Valli, Givenchy, Glenn Close, Jenny Packham, Jessica Chastain, Julie Bowen, Kristin Wiig, Kyra Sedgwick, Lanvin, Lea Michele, Melissa McCarthy, Michelle Williams, Natalie Portman, Oscar de la Renta, Rose Byrne, SAG Awards 2012, Sofia Vergara, Stacy Keibler, Tilda Swinton, Valentino, Versace, Viola Davis, Zac Posen, Zoe Saldana
Monday, January 16th, 2012
Jolie served in Atelier Versace. She turned it out to pimp her directorial debut. Don’t love the shoes, but when she tries even a little she easily steals the show. 
The most improved nod goes to Heidi Klum in Calvin Klein Collection, who usually shows up to these events looking wildly out of place and heinously attired.
Mila Kunis looked bored and made this one-strap Christian Dior boring too. She can do better, but can’t seem to shake this recent ugly frock streak.
Let’s get the brides out of the way. First, Jessica Chastain arrived in an ill-fitting Givenchy. In recent awards seasons, Givenchy seems to lend out dresses willy-nilly and doesn’t bother to make sure they are tailored correctly. For as many style successes as they have, they have an equal number of fashion failures.
Kate Beckinsale always brings the over-try, sponsored here by Roberto Cavalli and accompanied by Len Wiseman.
Jessica Biel wore a matrimonial Elie Saab, obviously unable to stifle her wedding enthusiasm.
Sofia Vergara showed us the source of the Nile in Vera Wang. Sarah Michelle Gellar drowned in a big blue and white tie-dyed Monique L’huillier. 
Best grown women: Downton Abbey’s Elizabeth McGovern, Diane Lane and Madge both in Reem Acra.
Vivienne Westwood dressed Andrea Riseborough who stars in Madonna’s movie W.E.
The gorgeous Gucci girls = Salma Hayek and Evan Rachel Wood.
God bless Melissa McCarthy; she tried in Badgley Mischka. Take a cue from Octavia Spencer who looked incredible in a light lavender Tadashi Shoji. 
Modern Family’s Ariel Winter looks all grown up in Dolce & Gabbana. Shailene Woodley chose a lovely Marchesa gown, but unfortunately paired it with bad posture. 
Claire Danes deviated from her usual favorites Calvin Klein and Narciso Rodriquez in favor of this embellish-backed J. Mendel number. I’m ambivalent – love the back, hate the front.
Michelle Williams wore Jason Wu. She should stick to Prada or Miu Miu. Is that burned out velvet? Emma Stone also failed to impress in a mediocre Lanvin gown. 
Frieda Pinto wore lapis Prada and it won’t be everyone’s favorite, but I think she’s lovely. Juliana Marguilies also chose a bold color statement with this sleek eggplant Naeem Khan.
Laura Dern sparkled in an emerald Andrew Gn gown.
Did you get the memo that Reese is reinventing herself as sexy? Zac Posen painted her red and gave her hips.
Nicole Richie is quickly morphing into a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. At first, I loved this Julien MacDonald metallic dress, but the more I look at it, the less excited I am, especially over that messy hem.
Where have you been Natalie? We’ve barely seen you since you gave birth. Weird dress by Lanvin.
Madeleine Stowe celebrated her career revival in Vera Wang. Charlize Theron is like awards show pizza; even when she’s bad she’s not that bad, and here she’s pretty decent in Dior Couture. If only she could wipe that smug-ass look off her (recently tweaked?) face. 
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Filed in FASHION, FILM, STAR
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Tags: Andrea Riseborough, Andrew Gn, Angelina Jolie, Ariel Winter, Badgley Mischka, Calvin Klein, Charlize Theron, Christian Dior, Claire Danes, Diane Lane, Dolce & Gabbana, Downton Abbey, Elie Saab, Elizabeth McGovern, Emma Stone, Evan Rachel Wood, Frieda Pinto, Givenchy, Golden Globes 2012, Gowns, Gucci, Heidi Klum, J Mendel, Jason Wu, Jessica Biel, Jessica Chastain, Julianna Margulies, Julien MacDonald, Kate Beckinsale, Lanvin, Laura Dern, Madeleine Stowe, Madonna, Marchesa, Melissa McCarthy, Michelle Williams, Mila Kunis, Monique L'huillier, Naeem Khan, Natalie Portman, Nicole Richie, Octavia Spencer, Prada, Reem Acra, Reese Witherspoon, Roberto Cavalli, Salma Hayek, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shailene Woodley, Sofia Vergara, Tadashi Shoji, Vera Wang, Versace, Vivienne Westwood, Zac Posen
Saturday, February 19th, 2011
Five totally legitimate reasons to wank off.
Men who ejaculated more than five times a week through masturbating were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer according to one study. Doctors chalk this up to the benefits of “clearing the pipes” by releasing toxin concentrations which accumulate over time.
Masturbation helps prevent cervical infections and relieve urinary tract infections. Going into more detail requires a graphic explanation of cervical tenting, so just trust this advice and keep it moving.
Studies show masturbation promotes cardiovascular health and lowers the risk of type-2 diabetes. Rub one out for your heart, man.
Self-diddling naturally combats insomnia through hormonal and tension release. Recently, in the middle of the night, a friend’s roommate walked in while he was in bed with his girlfriend, sat on a chair (strewn with aforementioned girlfriend’s clothing), and took a nice long piss. The next morning, the roommate claimed a case of Ambienesia, saying she remembered nothing. Why risk a pharmaceutically-induced unintended public pissing situation? Put the pharmies down and use that hand for something more useful, like whacking off. Combine Ambien and wanking at your own risk.
Turn that frown upside-down; petting the kitty releases euphoria-inducing oxytocin. Like ecstasy, but without the pesky brain holes.

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Filed in ADVICE, ART
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Tags: Albert Marquet, American Beauty, artist, Black Swan, Diane Lane, ecstasy, health, Kevin Spacey, Kyle MacLachlan, masturbate, Natalie Portman, sex, Sex and the City, Unfaithful