Tag Archives: divorce

Wednesday’s Watercooler

AHS THE COVEN VOODOOFinally, the Coven gathers tonight.  Let the stylized ritual killings of teenage girls begin!    AHS COVEN PROMOKRIS AND BRUCE BITTERNESSI am embarrassed to admit I am little sad over the inevitable Bruce and Kris divorce news.  I find the whole Kardashian sham oddly comforting.  The fuzzy edged intersection between orchestrated and organic in this family still fascinates me a little.KARDASHIAN JENNERBETHENNY AND ELLENIf you want to see her trainwreck of a talk show, better get to Bethenny before she gets cancelled.  Almost everyday a new story surfaces from a new unnamed source talking smack about all the backstage drama.  We hear the ratings are crap, Bethenny can’t book guests (ya’ll Jill Zarin and Alex McCord allegedly turned her down), and there’s even chatter Ellen wants her named dropped from Bethenny’s credits.  The pervasive negative press proves she’s obviously pissed off a disloyal member of her camp who continues to leak stories to fan the fire.  Good thing she has all that booze money to cushion her fall from daytime. BETHENNY NO

 

Bethenny Unleashes that Famous Scorpio Stinger

Recently, my friend broke up with a Scorpio and she’s moving out.  I told her she better hurry because Scorpios are spiteful.  Psst.  Someone might wanna tell Jason Hoppy.  He’s about to endure the psychological, physical, and spiritual spanking of his life.TMZ went snooping around the couple’s divorce papers, and by the slant of the intel I suspect Jason personally hand-delivered the documents to Harvey Levin’s desk. 

1) Bethenny seeks primary physical custody of Bryn.  (No big surprise there.)

2) Bethenny moved to enforce the prenup signed March 23, 2010.  (Definitely no surprise there.)

3) Frankel requested child support.  (Best characterized as a routine request in an atypical financial situation.)

4) She also asked for medical, dental, optical, therapeutic, and orthodontic expenses for both her and Bryn.  Is Bethenny Getting Braces?Bethenny suffers to lose significantly more from a drawn out split.  Much like Kris Humphries desperately clinging to the last burnt, bitter wisps of fame by refusing to divorce Kim, Jason can only benefit from making this separation process as tedious, embarrassing, and damaging to Bethenny as possible.  Bethenny and her well-compensated counsel better craft an unbelievably attractive agreement and apply some coercive tactics to get ink on it fast.

Bethenny dropped the sperm donor

In the least surprising news ever, Bethenny and Jason dropped the divorce bomb right before Christmas hoping to bury the story in eggnog.  Nice try.  We see you.  Here is the requisite carefully worded statement the couple released.

It brings me great sadness to say that Jason and I are separating.  This was an extremely difficult decision that as a woman and a mother, I have to accept as the best choice for our family. We have love and respect for one another and will continue to amicably co-parent our daughter who is and will always remain our first priority. This is an immensely painful and heartbreaking time for us.

The timing makes sense.  Best to file before that talk show money starts rolling in next year (though I strongly suspect that the rumored post-nup was indeed executed).  A completely baseless rumor floating around the internet was that Jason resented the financial agreement and it became one of many festering sores that eventually turned the whole relationship septic.  We all know that another point of contention in this relationship was Jason’s parents who will not be sorry to see Bethenny go.Want another tidbit of totally unsubstantiated gossip?  Rumor has it Bethenny doesn’t maintain her figure with a devotion to healthy eating.  Some say Jason was concerned how Bethenny’s laxative-loving behaviors might influence their daughter.  Again, this is probably just some baseless bullshit planted to discredit.  And you know I ain’t one to gossip, so you didn’t hear it from me….

3 for Thursday

How exciting is this whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes split?  Is it just a coincidence the marriage lasted right around 5 years just like the rumored contract?  Let’s hope with the end of this marriage comes the end of Katie’s blank-ass expression, mediocre clothing line, and non-acting career.  She used to be so adorable and ripe with potential and talent.  Rumored reasons for the split?  Tom sending Suri to Sea Org?!  Surveillance assigned to Tom’s adopted daughter Isabella?!  Isolation insisted upon by the Church of Scientology? Some juicy morsels are bound to surface from the swirl of this sure-to-be messy separation.  In the meantime, we’ll just count the days until Suri’s tell-all.  You know Travolta has got to be relieved to have the Church leaders distracted with this new wave of bad press and defection.Did you catch the premiere of season 2 of Episodes this week?  I watched season 1 of this weird little series last year and was hesitant to recommend it to you because the pace is a bit glacial in the beginning.  I wasn’t a Friends fan, so I’m not recommending the Matt LaBlanc show out of some sort of misplaced loyalty.  The supporting players are the true highlight – particularly Daisy Haggard, who basically makes me shit my pants every time she appears on screen.  Episodes is worth a watch, especially when conveniently paired with….

Lisa Kudrow’s Web Therapy.  I still drag The Comeback out every so often and burn through that underrated gem.  Web Therapy scratches a similar itch.  The premiere boasts appearances from players like Rosie O’Donnell, Meryl Streep, and returning cast member Alan Cumming.  Most of the show is improvised by skilled comics, but even among the best in the biz, Kudrow anchors the comedy with the genius affectations of therapist Fiona Wallice.

And please schedule your DVR to record The Real L Word season 3 premiere July 12th because that hot mess of lesbian drama is an annual tradition here at DC.

 

 

Bethenny and Jason on the Rocks?

We’ve all been on quite a ride with Mizz Frankel haven’t we?  At first, in the earliest days of RHNY, I was sort of fond of her.  Perhaps she was just the least offensive member of an all-around offensive group, but for the most part we were rooting for her.  As her fame, brand, and wealth grew, so did her narcissism, impatience, greed, and need for control.  In my opinion, her merger with Jason was just that – a calculated business decision aimed at furthering her appeal to a larger (more lucrative) audience.  Along came Bryn, and with her new baby Bethenny had all the the perfect ingredients to market cocktails, shapewear, skin care, books, and more to eager moms.  Not to mention Bethenny leveraged her new role as “mommy” to snag sponsorship deals with major players like PampersFirst during Bethenny Getting Married? and later throughout Bethenny Ever After, the couple’s total incompatibility became full-on apparent.  This last season grew so uncomfortable, I couldn’t even find the humor and fun in writing my silly little recaps.  So it comes as no surprise that rumors are flying concerning both parties consulting divorce lawyers.With divorce rumblings comes financial talk.  Several lawyers were asked to comment on what Jason is likely to gain from the split.  Now, I ain’t one to gossip, but I heard that Bethenny pushed Jason to sign a pre-nup and a revised post-nuptial agreement.  Trust, her assets are protected.  Based on her upbringing and past behavior, I contend that Bethenny would not jeopardize her fortune or her daughter’s future for any man.  Along with the rest of you, I’ve been predicting the demise of this showmance for sometime.  During a recent episode, a morsel of information slipped out that only served to cement my hunch about their impending split.  Bethenny stated that Jason goes to church every Sunday.  Specifically, she said “Jason goes,” the inference being that she stays home and he goes without her.  That struck me as a profound proof of the distance between these two.  Consider how much bullshit Jason endures for Bethenny.  How many events must he attend where she is the “star,” and he is the purse-holding husband pushed off the step-and-repeat so the paps can get a clean shot of the money maker?  She can’t spend one hour in church with the man?  Look, I’m no Bible beater, but church might actually do Bethenny some good.  Even if it didn’t, it would show a willingness to support Jason and do something as a family that isn’t 100% focused on Bethenny.  The trouble with the current version of Bethenny is that everything in her life and the lives of her hired sycophants is Bethenny-centric.  Why do you think Julie left?  And let’s not even get into all the unnecessary conflict Frankel caused with Jason’s salt-of-the-Earth parents…And as for the infidelity rumors with Matt Hesse?  The two clearly have chemistry, and Bethenny eyes him with a particular undeniable gleam during their on-air interactions.  He knows she wants him and he’ll milk her sexual attraction to maximize his professional and financial future.  He’s a self-proclaimed modelizer.  Obviously fucking Bethenny is a resume builder, not a dick stiffener.  Let her taste a bit of her own overly acidic Skinnygirl medicine with this handsome opportunist.  As this plays out, I predict the following:  1) First, the couple will offer a wave of denials until a confidential agreement is locked down tight; 2) Jason will NOT end up with anything close to half of Bethenny’s fortune, but she will overpay on the pre-nup/post-nup to preserve and protect her privacy and misdoings;  3) She will hold off announcing the split until after she finds out if her 6 week trial run talk show gets picked up for a full season (it won’t).

in case you missed it…

Most of you have heard about the struggles Bethenny Frankel has experienced while attempting to develop, market, and sell her version of a daily network talk show.  Reports surfaced that decision-makers didn’t think she wasn’t likable enough.  Then there were those pesky allegations concerning false labeling on Skinnygirl Margarita, which further chipped away at her crumbling credibility.  And it wasn’t so long ago confusion swirled around the value of the Skinnygirl sale.  The cumulative effect?  Page Six reports that any hope for a syndicated deal is as dead as a Thanksgiving turkey.You guys watching Revenge?  Can’t really say it’s good, but blank-eyed Amber Valletta and an Herve Leger-clad Madeleine Stowe have kept it mildly interesting.  How much has this fall sucked in terms of tv?  So much.  In any other year at any other time, Revenge wouldn’t even be worth mentioning.We are neither surprised by nor interested in the break up of Ashton and Demi’s marriage.  Nobody seriously thought that shit would last, so the media can just relax with all their pearl clutching.  We all know the grounds for divorce.  Under the reason for dissolution, next to Ashton’s name, check the “douche” box; next to Demi’s, check “desperately clinging to youth.”

Sunday with the end of Jennifer & Marc

Sunday with the end of Jack and Karen

31 Days of Halloween~Day 13~Christina and Jordan are Dead