So a few months ago, I kicked cable out of my life in the optimistic quest to provide all my entertainment needs through my computer and Roku. At first, I felt liberated. Fuck you Comcast. You suck so much. Then I started to feel disconnected. Yes, you can watch a lot of crap on Hulu, but none of it is FRESH, FRESH, FRESH. It is at least day-old bread, Hulu’s original programming notwithstanding (add heaping ladle of sarcasm gravy to that biscuit). It was definitely disorienting to not be able to just flip the remote and experience live TV. It made me anxious to think that in the face of an emergency I couldn’t find comfort in my local news (which I never watch). And I really hated not being able to DVR and fast forward through ads. Furthermore, tracking down my favorite shows became a part-time job and often the quality was less than stellar on those YouTube streams. Cutting the cable also meant my computer was needed for streaming which means this site suffered because I can’t stream and post at the same time, ya’ll. I apparently need to be bombarded with stimuli from my television and computer to find true happiness. Last week, I walked back into the devil’s house to see what kind of contract he could offer me on my soul. Of course those bastards have some crazy deal where they force you buy a phone line you don’t want, with a modem you don’t need, for one price for one year, and escalating price the second, complete with early termination fees, and a claim to my first born. Trying to outfox the Comcast crooks, I asked for à la carte pricing, which amounted to about $80 more a month than their satanic triple play contract. So I guess it’s back to 2 years of indentured cable servitude.I’m deeply ambivalent. When I returned home with my shiny new DVR and immediately accessed Bravo, E!, and HBO with ease, it was the technological equivalent of a warm hug. Then I caught a glance at the redundant modem they forced on me, and I felt a wave of disgust for the vile and predatory corporation I’m supporting. It’s like a bad marriage: can’t live with it, can’t live without it.
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