Tag Archives: En Pointe

Dita Von Teese: Strip Strip Hooray

Saw Mizz Dita Von Teese and her burlesque buddies on Memorial Day in Portland at the Aladdin Theater.  I anticipated this show for months, set out on an epic journey to be there, and even built a Pacific Northwest trip around it.  So did it live up to all the expectation? 

In two words:  FUCK YES.

Dita started the show with her now classic martini glass routine.  She lip-synched a song about liking it slow, and stripped down from a perfectly fitted tux to a gorgeous corset. Her body is every bit amazing as it looks in pictures.  Her waist is really that tiny and her skin is milky white and flawless.  In between Dita’s four performances, other well-known burlesque stars like Dirty Martini and Catherine D’Lish punctuated the stage with their unique flavor.  This show was interesting because there wasn’t any singing and really not much in the way of dancing.  I’d call it more coquettish posing and prancing.  It is like watching a live editorial photo shoot.  Strike a pose, click.  Strike a pose, click.  The audience takes in a series of beautiful images, but really not much more.  The whole shebang amounts to a gorgeous puff of powder, but what it lacks in substances it makes up for in style.Not to say there are no skills involved; Dita completed much of her mirrored-compact routine en pointe in Louboutin ballet point shoes.  She definitely looked a little nervous and strained during the more challenging balancing requirements of the act.  Truthfully, there were more than a few moments where Dita telegraphed her anxiety.  When the fasteners on her garments didn’t cooperate with her quick release commands a palpable panic swept over both her face and her gestures.  I found this surprising for such a seasoned performer since I’m sure in this type of show wardrobe hiccups are par for the course. While physically stunning, there is a classic stripper disconnect between Dita and the crowd.  Many of her hand-selected co-stars made more meaningful connections with the audience than Dita.  No one looked better, but there was definitely a wall up between Dita and her fans.  Almost as if she was looking past us, or maybe down at us?  Dita closed with a big opium den number set in part to a remixed version of the Cure’s Lullaby.  The incredible finale climaxed with four gloved hands pawing Dita’s body into ecstatic submission.  Nary a nipple was exposed, but the entire show was a pleasing, erotic, and light-hearted delight.  This show was well worth the price of admission, and even worth traveling a distance to catch.  We owe Von Teese a great debt in keeping the art of burlesque alive and relevant, and she’s obviously one of the most stylishly influential women on the scene.  Three cheers for Dita indeed, Strip Strip Hooray!

JUNE 2011 HOROSCOPES

Gemini – arms

Mutable and governed by air, Gemini’s moods, ideas, and opinions shift as easily as the breeze.  Others may find your fickle personality frustrating, but versatility provides a distinct advantage in certain situations.  Geminis have a leitmotif of fun, relaxation, and good times this summer.  A care-free fling, platonic or romantic, imbues new energy in the atmosphere and adds a little glide to the stride.  Financially, June proves unpredictable, so mellow on the extracurricular spending.  Don’t front the cost for your own birthday fun.  If cheap friends bristle at the expense of the celebration, leave them out.

Extra special Birthday Shoutout to Demeter Clarc’s favorite Gemini and in-house tech-support EMC.  Without your genius, DC could not be. xox

Cancer – chest

Here we are in June, what have you accomplished so far this year?  For Crabs, the answer is quite a bit – thank you very much!  All the recent upheaval has taxed your energy and resources.  Be especially mindful of overdrafting your account, literally and metaphorically.  The stars signal self-indulgence, but since you trend toward giving into worldly desires, consider a novel approach to self-care.  Maybe a cleanse or meditation retreat?  The second-half of 2011 looks fruitful, with broader influence and game-changing leadership opportunities at work.

Leo – spine

“Got a secret.  Can you keep it?  Swear this one you’ll save.  Better lock it, in your pocket.  Taking this one to the grave.  If I show you then I know you.  Won’t tell what I said.  Cause two can keep a secret.  If one of them is dead…” The Pierces Secret song is your theme this month.  You got your lion paws on some intel which suggests an opportunity.  How will you play it?  Always popular with the opposite sex, June connects Leos with an insightful comrade who guides you towards an epiphany concerning your life’s work.

Virgo – belly

June serves up a slew of group gatherings; some aspects of the get-togethers will be pleasurable and others annoying.  Dress comfortably so one of the irritations isn’t ill-advised attire.  Throughout this year, Virgos have struggled when ethics and money clash.  June is no different.  Prepare for the possibility that this fermenting struggle might blow this month.  Virgos spend time and energy sprucing up the abode.  This investment brings about a new sense of domesticity, happiness, and renewed feelings.

Libra – skin

Feelings of anxiety surface due to unpredictable relationship and career news.  Don’t freak; everything will go according to design.  Make stress relief a priority, keep up with yoga, meditate, and take unpressured strolls.  In-laws suck up some attention in June.  Expect a flurry of extra emails, texts and errands that will vampire your already taxed time.  One area of concern you can set aside?  Finances.  Libras enjoy a gilded June.  Save more than you spend.

Scorpio – genitals

June rains bank on Scorpios from multiple directions and sources.  Even though Scorpios roll in the deep, keep out of the shops a third of the way through the month to avoid credit issues.  June ain’t great for travel; take a riveting book and expect delays.  Try to maintain your pleasing personality, because when your mood sours, you take everyone down with you.  For many Scorpios, more sex = more patience, so work on getting laid regularly this summer.

Sagittarius – hips and thighs

Spend energy creating connections through communication and compromise this June.  Sagittarian cooperation impresses others and leads to a variety of beneficial relationships.  Perhaps even locking down an engagement or major commitment?  Keep the pocketbook shut this month Sag.  June is rife with potential financial complications concerning your credit/debit cards.  Use cash when possible, monitor accounts, and follow up on any suspicious activity within three days.

Capricorn – knees

Family and work feed into an already stressful Capricorn head space this June.  Under times of pressure, Caps often turn from their close confidants who are best equipped to support them.  Fight the impulse to push others away, and make time to decompress with a special someone.  Fail to heed the stars and invite increasing conflict.  June creates a favorable environment for creative expression.  Get back to what you love, or check out something you have been itching to try.  Capricorns aren’t usually big gossips, but listen for the dirt at the work place this month, so you’ll be prepared for the shit that goes down later this summer.

Aquarius – calves

Aquarians battle haters trying to dim your shine this month.  Keep the guard up and protect your interests.  Find support and restoration with good company and light-hearted entertainment.  Trying to conceive?  The stars look favorable for a new edition.  Find a cool, dark room to retreat to for extra rest when life’s pressures become overwhelming, especially towards the end of the month.  Invite others to visit you; Aquarians risk perilous travel in June.

Pisces – feet

Ramp up for a busy twelve month run Pisces!  Family relations brim with positivity and warmth.  In contrast, friendships suffer mid-month.  Don’t let the conflict spiral out of control, especially if plans are already in place for travel with this person later in the summer.  Instead of engaging in tense bitchery with amici, let your light shine by showcasing your extraordinary talents.

Aries – head

The eloquence faerie visits Aries, bringing the gift of mellifluousness.  Deliver grand speeches and professions of love because Aries will articulate thoughts in a particularly clear and memorable manner the first twelve days of June.  Take a holiday the 1st and the 15th, or hell, take a holiday the 1st through the 15th!  Why not?  The piggy bank’s fat with bacon this June.

Taurus – neck

After a busy May, June serves an optimistic and uncluttered outlook for Taurus.  Enjoy sunny bright mornings and lazy evenings on the deck.  Bullheaded as usual, Taurus experiences relationship drama at nearly every interaction, whether personal or professional.  Shoulder some of the blame for the discord.  Always responsible with the dough, look out for the opportunity for more delicious cake to sweeten the deal in early June.

 

 

Don’t Miss the Pointe.