In an effort to test market a possible booty-thickening addition to her shapewear line, Bethenny spent the first several minutes of this week’s episode flaunting her artificially-enhanced ass in everyone’s face. First Julie, then Ethan, and finally Jason got a face full of butt pad everywhere they turned.When Jason admired her new asset, Bethenny first credited the skating, but when Jason pressed to bang the booty, she had to fess up to her new accessory to his epic disappointment.
The Hoppy family + staff hit up the Christmas tree farm where Bethenny provided a Santa hat to tree farmer Don and forced him to double as an impromptu St. Nick. She thrust Bryn into the man’s arms, insisted on taking pictures, and cooed as the baby tugged on Don’s beard. Explain the parental blind spot that prevents otherwise reasonable folks from understanding that it is not appropriate to impose their children on others.After balking at the big city prices, Jason flailed about with the saw, sending Bethenny’s motherly protectiveness into overdrive. Dawa selected a tree, and while the crew packed it up, Don offered Bethenny and Jason a ride on the back of his pick-up truck. The ride was rough, but unfortunately not rough enough to knock either of them off the back.Bethenny planned what she thought would be a hilarious ugly Christmas sweater party, and maybe it would have been funny ten years ago when this idea first made the rounds. Ugly Christmas sweater parties are so over. (Shoutout Portlandia)
Food God Nick submitted his first food blog, and Bethenny and Julie creamed themselves over his sesquipedalian and grandiloquent writing style (two can play at that game Nick). After finishing an oral recitation of the multi-page account, Bethenny immediately got Nick on the phone, offered him a job with the Skinnygirl website, and asked him to a fancy dinner at Mr. Chow.Nick borrowed a sports coat from his Dad and wore a wrinkly, dingy button-up with no undershirt. This kid is crying out for a makeover. Nick, write me, I’ll help you, seriously.The producers obviously put Nick up to asking Bethenny’s advice on his love life. His girlfriend just left him because he’s an admitted stage five clinger. Bethenny recommended internet dating like it was some sort of novel concept. Trust, those resembling Nick have had a lot of interesting experiences with the internet. Bethenny dished clichéd advice between bites, and Nick politely thanked her for stating the obvious. An insightful guy, Food God Nick must be using her for fame, because there is no way he doesn’t see her for the insipid, self-important twat she is.