Tag Archives: Evelyn Lozada

Betrothed, Butted, and Boring Blood

By now you’ve heard that Jen and Justin got engaged.  Why does their whole relationship smack of desperation?  Justin’s desperate to elevate himself to A-list relevancy and wealth.  Jen’s desperate to officially lock down a man before the tabloids permanently assign her the role of the heartbroken, left-behind spinster.  Can we expect a Mexican wedding?  Aniston loves her some Mexico.  Though some say the couple has already scouted locations in Greece.  Do we trust him?  Fuck No.  We want pre-nup. As an occasional watcher of Basketball Wives, I sadly wasn’t at all surprised to catch word that Chad allegedly head-butted Evelyn after she confronted him over a receipt for condoms.  He was arrested and charged, and has since been released from his contract by the Miami DolphinsEvelyn suffered a gash on her forehead and has apparently moved out of the couple’s home.  The two got married about 5 weeks ago.  Real messy ya’ll.

Finally, True Blood officially sucks now, right?  Just checking.

 

Child Please, This is only the beginning…

Evelyn revealed a long-kept secret on last week’s Basketball Wives finale.  Perhaps angling for some extra camera time this season, Evelyn confessed to smashing Tami’s husband, Kenny Anderson, back in the day.  Tami took it as well as you might imagine. Several years after Lozada and Anderson’s affair, the tables have turned.  Now Evelyn’s engaged to marry rumored pussy-hound Chad Ochocinco.The Roman Candle proved payback’s a bitch when she dropped this delish doozy on part one of the reunion…

“So then I don’t need to tell you I fucked Chad.” And then Evelyn’s face looked like this. And then Royce broke out dancing.  In the immortal words of Mr. Ochocinco himself,Child Please, This is only the beginning.

Roman’s Revenge

Shaunie O’Neal has gifted us all with a little gem this Christmas in the form of the return of Tami Roman as the newest cast member of Basketball Wives.  Some folks may remember Tami’s spicy blend from the original Real World L.A., which aired waaay back in 1993 (before some ya’ll bitches was even born).  Tami famously demonstrated the double negative bitch bounce, “it wasn’t not funny,” before joining pitchforks with Beth and permanently running David out the house.  Observant ones know that this incident wasn’t the first or last time a black man has felt the sharp end of MTV‘s bigot stick.Since her days on MTV, Tami married and divorced Kenny AndersonTami and Kenny have two teenage daughters who Tami claims she’s raising (financially) alone.  Her fishy pre-nup story doesn’t jive with legal precedent, so there’s probably a whole lot more to that story then she’s admitting.  Kenny is currently remarried to an older version of Sagen from Running Russell Simmons and playing stay-at-home daddy to a new batch of kids.Tami brings a down-and-out element to the otherwise boughetto (credit Kandi Burruss via Ali & Murphey Lee) ensemble cast.  Already Evelyn and Jennifer got their noses in the air cracking on Roman’s food-stamp past.  Expect Tami’s ladylike self-restraint to maintain for about two more episodes, max.  Theme your Sunday morning brunches around a wig snatch ya’ll.