Tag Archives: fire

The longest night

SNOWY CABINWishing you a warm winter solstice on the longest night of the year.  BABY BIRDS

Many blessings and much love.



El Yucateco Salsa Picante de Chile Habanero

I’m not the biggest fan of bottled hot sauces because the heat tends to get overpowered by the vinegar.  Not with El Yucateco Salsa Picante de Chile Habanero, this electric green goodness delights with rich, intense, balanced flavor.  With a 9,000 Scoville sting, El Yucateco green ain’t for bland bitches, but if you like your food to punish you a little like I do, then track this alarmingly florescent condiment down in the “ethnic” (mild grocery store racism?) foods aisle.  El Yucateco comes in a few different flavors of varying intensity, but I can only personally vouch for the fiery wonder of the atomic green.

first fire

I woke up this morning to the unmistakable chill of fall nipping at my buns as I peeled myself outta bed.  Time to build the first fire of the season.  At the yoga conference I attended this weekend, I sat in splendid pure nature and watched some douche light up a chemical gel packet to start the campfire.  WEAK SAUCE. One of the many pearls of wisdom we all learned from Troop Beverly Hills is that any good Scout can start a fire without stooping to chemical enhancement.  

Here’s h0w I like to catch a fire…

What you must know right from the start is that fire needs to be wooed, romanced, and coaxed into ignition.  My good friend Lisa and I lived in the mountains together many moons ago.  I would get home from work and she’d be shivering on the sofa under a blanket.  She would meekly point to the struggling embers, evidence of her best effort, and say “I’m cold.”  Fire-making is an art that requires patience and respect for the process.  Feed it too little and it will starve.  Feed it too much and it will collapse under its own weight. 

First gather your materials.  I like shredded paper – why not get rid of it this way?  Just keep the glossies out; they release toxic chemicals when burned.  Kindling is key.  You need a lot of little dry sticks, scrap wood, and dry pine cones.  Think small and plentiful when it comes to kindling.  You need to build up the heat of the fire before you throw on a big log. Get your logs arranged from small to big and into soft and hard woods.  The hard woods will take longer to ignite, but burn longer.  Save them until the fire is really hot.

Make a loose pile of paper or shreddings; make sure air can permeate the stack.  If you use newspaper, wad it up into tight balls and place them close together in the center of the fireplace.  Find your smallest and driest kindling pieces and gently arrange them in a tee-pee shape around the paper creating a cone. 

Place the larger pieces of wood to the far outside edge of the inside of the fireplace.  These aren’t for burning now, but by lining the edge of the fireplace the wood gets warm and ready to burn when it is time to add it to the fire.

Light the paper with long matches, a lighter, or aim & flame.  Get out of the way.  Don’t burn yourself.  Wear fire safe gloves to be safe.  Watch the fire.  Coax the fire.  Woo the fire.  Tend the fire.

Gradually add larger pieces of kindling until a roaring flame erupts.  Allow the fire to breathe.  If you are creating your flame magic in a wood burning stove, close the door and let the heat build.  If you are in a fireplace, don’t over-poke the fire.  You constant pokers know who you are. 

When the fire is ready for more, usually one of the edges of those larger pieces begins to catch.  Use your fireplace tools – pokers here is your moment – to shift the larger logs to the center of the fire.  No plopping and one at a time!  Adding too much too fast can douse your fire faster than a hose. 

Remember fireplaces and campfires shouldn’t be left unattended.  If you light the fire you make sure the fire is responsibly extinguished.  Don’t be burning the forest down bitches. 

Now go forth and impress with your fire making.  Mercilessly mock those who require starter logs and chemical accelerators.  When the zombie apocalypse happens, thanks to this post and Bear Grylls, you’ll be ready.   




Happy Birthday Fiery Bitches!  In astrological terms, Aries comes first, and that’s just the way you like it.  Super fun, superfly, and irrepressible, Aries are en fuego.  Even though the last few years have been a struggle, Aries maintains momentum.  Perhaps professionally things haven’t progressed ideally.  All that will change this year if you take the time to cultivate balance.  Aries feels super-charged this April.  Rein the energy in or suffer the consequences – stupid embarrassing ones too – public stumbles, idiotic fender benders, and pride-wounding chokes.  Get plenty of sleep, take care with relationships, and for fuck’s sake, think before you speak.


Typically Taurus has it all together, but this month you’ll feel pulled in a million directions.  The way you cope with all this hectic energy will dictate whether things getter better or escalate.  Taurus vent frustration and anxiety on loved ones.  Needling the significant other won’t ease stress, and tussling with the in-laws will only make things worse.  Channel that negative energy towards a more constructive activity – like an Easter egg hunt!  Keep an eye on finances and stick with your budget in April.


Here’s the bad news for tax season, April is not a good month for Gemini and numbers.  Strongly consider hiring a professional or get someone to double check any fiscal matters.  Friendships get tested when heads butt.  You may have to agree to disagree this time.  April skews romantic mojo, so now’s not the time to trust your instincts.  Have a friend cosign before moving forward, especially after three or more cocktails.


April brings a tremendous amount of freedom and stress.  The wide open future awaits; seize it by the balls.  Interoffice politics play a big role in generating conflict this month.  On the upside, Cancers find true comfort in family and a peaceful home.  Both these gifts are yours this April.  When it comes to finances, please balance optimism with reality.  The full moon makes a great back drop for a party.  Consider hosting.


Miscommunication frustrates Leos and causes conflicts with friends, lovers and coworkers this April.  With a little patience and kindness on your part, these little squirmishes will take care of themselves.  Take extra caution with internet banking and transactions.  Keep important documents organized.  Leos stills shine this month, especially in the career sector – great time to leverage for a raise or promotion.


Virgos need a luxurious day just for themselves this month.  Invigorate with spa treatments, delicious food, and long naps.  Whatever the pleasure, indulge for an afternoon.  Financially, unexpected shenanigans make it ultra-important to check the credit report.  The entire household needs to know what’s going on with money.  Keep them informed and they will step up.  Ethical beyond reproach, Virgos forget not everyone rolls that way.  Trust, but verify.


That new relationship you’ve been toying with?  April will make it or break it.  Libras usually have the subtle upper hand in relationships, so ultimately the decision will be yours whether to invest in or ditch the prospect.  Around the 18th, plan a get together and by the end of the evening the decision will be obvious.  Either way, anticipate a rocky aftermath.


Unclench your fist Scorpio.  Those little work bitches stir up weird energy this month.  Preserve calm dignity and reap the rewards later in May.  Even with obstacles, Scorpio’s high productivity results in accomplishment.  The love life looks really good this month for the committed and single, so take a few opportunities to get your Scorpio swagger on.


Unfortunately, March’s drama seeps into April, but don’t fret Sagittarians.  These things have a funny way of working themselves out.  Concentrate on enjoying family and friends through a creative activity.  Unexpected expenses pop up later this month.  Don’t get caught off-guard.  Set aside some extra dough now and save yourself the stressful last minute scramble.


Hating home life right now?  You’ve heard that cliché about making your bed and sleeping in it right?  Tension permeates work relationships as well.  As usual, the battles boil down to ego.  Caps, consider whether hubris limits your ability to genuinely connect with others.  Smarties bypass drama with a humble approach, creating a safe space for creative exchange.


Spring travel plans go awry this month; even the car may experience issues.  Aquarians experience foggy communication like many other signs this month, though misunderstandings should clear up before the last week of April.  Aquarians get pissed at space-invading family and neighbors.  Establish and enforce boundaries.  On the bright side?  Cash fills the pocketbook.


A side opportunity for some extra cash gives Pisces a long-needed financial break.  The added monetary cushion gives you a chance to relax and finally feel comfortable.  Especially charming and charismatic this month, take advantage of this moment and go after what you want.  Your chances of success are particularly high now.  Things also flow nicely on the relationship front thanks to April’s added magnetism.