Tag Archives: friends

Lip Sync Showcase

ANNE HATHAWAY LIP SYNC BATTLENext weekend is the First Annual Lip Sync Showcase.  I have to prepare a number.  What song would you choose?  I’ve been profoundly contemplating my choice.  I’m not sure what to perform.  As a fan of Lip Sync Battle, I’ve been paying close attention to what works and what doesn’t.  Nobody wants an earnest lip sync situation.  The song must be worded with a wink.  There are some obvious go-to’s.  I want to avoid those.  No Gloria Gaynor.  No Madonna.  But you don’t want to go too obscure or dark.  It’s preferable when everyone in the audience knows the words.  Speaking of audience, the selection must hype the people.  I know a kid who insists on karaoke-ing Happiness is a Warm Gun, and it is such a bummer every single time.  Don’t be that guy.  An upbeat song choice is key, but you don’t want to go too corny either.  I’m auditioning a few different ditties – and there’s choreography to consider.  I gotta get to werk.  And for those of you participating, I look forward to experiencing the full gamut of magic you have to offer.   RU

Gone Today

SNOWTRACKSSomeone I really loved and respected died tragically and unexpectedly yesterday.  He was a great man.  He treated others most kindly.  He will be sorely missed by many.  May his wife and daughter find solace in the wake of this life-changing loss.  Just when the mundane details of life lull me into a false sense of security, the universe comes along with a kick to the balls to remind us all just how precariously we hang in the balance of fate.  Love fiercely without restraint.  Forgive easily.  Life is short, and then in an instant you are gone. GONE

Girls Love Horses

REBEL TESTLike most girls, I love horses.  I had a horse when I was a girl.  Yes, I actually got the pony, eyeroll.  I drifted away from riding horses around 14, but as a grown woman I take every opportunity to ride that I can.  Through a thoughtful and generous friend, I was invited to ride this weekend.  A woman just moved out this way with her horses and was up for hosting a little group trot.HORSE MAGIC

Because horses are dangerous, usually equine owners are understandably cautious.  I expected very little excitement or free rein (if you will) during the evening, and was frankly just happy for the opportunity to ride.  One horse needed to rest, so we all took turns riding the mare, Peanut.  First, very nice owner mounted and completed a few laps on Peanut in the hopes of tuckering her out for the novice riders.  Perhaps not exercised as frequently since the recent move, Peanut was all full of piss and vinegar, itching to run, buck, and act wildly.BUCK WILD

Finally, it was my turn to ride Peanut.  I turned to owner and I said “Look, I know horses are dangerous. I really appreciate you letting me ride.  I won’t do anything crazy.  I will ask permission before I change gaits.”  So I hop on, and Peanut understandably runs me through all the standard horsey antics to see what she can get away with, which is nothing.  After I got the feel of her, I ask owner if I may trot.  She said “yeah, go ahead.”  Seriously she was the chillest horse mom ever.  After a few circles and half-halting obedience conversations with Peanut, I asked her for an easy canter.  Peanut is a Maserati of a horse and we had a good speedy go around the ring.  I kept Peanut in control, so owner apparently trusted me enough to have a nice little ride without any interference.  I was so stunned by her permissive and easy-going attitude.  I may make her my new best friend.  We can go riding together.HORSE LOVEI’m super grateful for my homie who organized the evening because he would much rather ride a skateboard than a horse and just arranged the gathering to make me happy.  Sweet, right?GIRLS LOVE HORSES


The Holidays Sans Familia

SOLO XMASSince my parents passed on, I don’t really have any family to celebrate the holidays with anymore.  My extended family isn’t close, and I don’t feel like trying to force it out of a misguided sense of obligation.  When I was in a relationship, it was all about his family.  He would drag me to his parents house and abandon me with his mean mother for hours.  After years of enduring that misery, now he doesn’t even bother to wish me a Merry Christmas.  My close friends have their own agendas, none of which include me.  I always get a lot of well-meaning invitations from random outer circle pals and acquaintances, but the thought of accepting any of those invitations triggers major small-talk anxiety.CHRISTMAS ALONETIMESI work so much that two whole days off in a row is a once a year luxury that I can’t afford to misspend.  Some people might consider spending Christmas alone tragic, but the upside is I didn’t have to buy one bullshit present.  Though I happily tipped some well-deserving folks to show gratitude for their day-to-day service.HOLIDAY CASH

My Christmas wish is to relax, sleep-in, eat Trader Joe’s chocolate croissants, and binge-watch the rest of The Affair.  Most folks are plagued with obligations and expectations during the holidays.  This Christmas I’ll be thanking baby Jesus for the freedom to do whatever the fuck I want.WATCHING RUBBISH

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: worry-making

CATHY COMICI know this woman as a friendly acquaintance.  I’ve posted about her before awhile ago.  She’s like a human Cathy Comic.  I liked her though.  I think she’s smart, funny, well-meaning, and enjoyable in small doses.   I’ve extended a number of invitations to her over the last year.  Several months ago, she just stopped responding.  I’m the last holdout on the fucking Facebook, but other friends tried to contact her though her page.  She never responded, despite her FB page showing recent updated activity.  She’s a single woman living alone on my side of town.  Therefore, it’s partially my responsibility to make sure she didn’t die alone, and her cat wasn’t gnawing off her three-day-dead face.  After multiple attempted contacts from a number of sources, finally a co-worker confirmed that Cathy Comic is fine.  No illness.  No tragedy.  Just chronic unresponsiveness.  Well fuck you human Cathy Comic.  Do you know how rude it is to make people worry?  Cathy Comic must be so flush with friends that she doesn’t need any more thoughtful people to care about her.  Well it’s a good thing because I won’t be wasting a moment more of my concern.  I’m recycling that friendship like yesterday’s newspaper.  And don’t come calling when he dumps you.  I don’t want to hear it.  CATHY COMIC BEDIf you are late, call.  If people express concern, respond.  Remember that pit of anxiety that forms when you are worried about someone you love.  Don’t ever recklessly give another that feeling due to your own thoughtlessness and irresponsibility.  It’s fucking rude, and it makes you unworthy of the concern.BYE CATHY


a big heartfelt hug

HUGSMy friend had the worst day of her life today.  She suffered a life-altering loss.  I’m not there to hug her.  We live 1400 miles apart.  I have to hug her here.  She’s a loyal reader.  Send a little love to our girl today.  She needs it.  I available to you, call me anytime.  Anything you need.  I love you and I understand.  FRIEND HUG


thank you for being a friend

BLONDE REDOne of my nearest and dearest sets off for a new job, a new locale, and a whole new life today.  I’m super proud of her.  She’s worked hard and deserves success.  Even though we’re no longer geographically close, I’m not worried about our friendship diminishing with distance.  We’ve been supertight friends for a decade, so whether we’re apart 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years it’s like no time has passed.  Treasure your friends, and hang on regardless of where life takes you.  When the men have gone and the children are grown, it’s just going to be you, me, Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia out on the lanai. 

mizz tudie denkins

I’ve been dogsitting my best friend’s dog Tudie Denkins this week.  She is a 2 lb Maltese and the sweetest most lovable little dog you could ever meet.  I’ve enjoyed having her so much.  She follows me around, sits on my lap, sleeps curled up next to me in my armpit.  She doesn’t really bark.  She definitely never bites.  She just loves and sleeps.  That’s her jam, and that’s why I agreed to keep her while my friend was away.  CAM00859In having her in my home, I’ve realized a few other things about dog ownership.  It’s unexpectedly nice to have a reason to wake up and go right outside, breathe the morning air, and take my little pal on a walk.  Ditto with the night time routine and getting outside for fresh air before bed.  Tudie’s such a little cutie that no one can resist her.  I’ve met so many new people this week because of her adorable mug.  I have to return little Tudie back to her Ma tomorrow and it will be super hard to let her go.  It’s nice to have a warm little companion.  I get it dog people.  I get it.  Woof.CAM00852

Skills for Life: teenagers lie

TEENAGE KISSAs you know, I’m not a parent.  I don’t even have a pet.  My cayenne pepper plant is the closest thing to a being that depends on me, and it could probably survive on my porch for some time without intervention.  Even though I’m not a parent, I was a teenager.  And to quote Wendy Williams, I was a teenager who was “up to thangs.”  Drugs. Fighting. Musicians. Protests. Shows. Parties. Mischief. Jail.  Because of these experiences, I know when others are up to thangs.TRAFFIC BATHROOM FREEBASEI have a friend.  Well-educated and hard-working, she’s done exceptionally well for herself.  With no children of her own, she treats her family generously.  Years back, she promised her niece that if she met certain stipulations, my friend would take her to Europe for high school graduation.  Recently, the niece graduated.  True to her word, my friend planned a lovely trip overseas for the two of them.A ROOM WITH A VIEWTwo days after gradation and less than a week before their planned departure date, niece split her car between two trees driving drunk.  Thankfully, niece walked away unscathed as did her two passengers.  The collision destroyed the car.  One passenger fled on foot.  One stayed behind.  Niece called her parents.  Her parents awoke to the middle of the night call – a nightmare.  The concerned couple leapt from slumber to fetch a nearly-passed-out-drunk niece from a nearby location.BTW TREESThe family returned to the scene of the wreck.  When the tow truck was called to retrieve the crunched car, the tow truck driver informed the parents that he was obligated to notify the police because the property damage exceeded $1000.  While her parents are cleaning up her mess, niece is passed out drunk in the back seat of their car.LOHAN PASS OUTCops show up.  Dad says he’s the one that was driving.  Dad receives citation for reckless driving.  As a result, teenage drunk driving niece endures zero consequences for her extraordinarily reckless actions.  The next day, niece plays innocent and convinces naive parents that this is the first time she has ever driven drunk.  She appears contrite.  They allow her to go to Europe anyway.90210 IN PARISI think this response is total bullshit.  Not on my friend’s part.  She’s an innocent bystander in this situation just following through on her promise, and I admire her for that.  I’m looking at the parents in judgement.  Parents never want to believe the worst or the truth regarding their child (too often one in the same).  “The other kid was the ringleader… My kid was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”  I can’t with the excuses.  Your kid is a fucker.  I know this because I was a fucker.  I was up to thangs, and I relentlessly and pathologically lied to cover my ass.  Lying is what teenagers do.  Don’t take it personally.  Deception is a developmental stage.  Just don’t be gullible enough to believe the little liars – or worse reward them for their dishonorable behavior with a European vacation.BAD EGG