Tag Archives: Friendship

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: worry-making

CATHY COMICI know this woman as a friendly acquaintance.  I’ve posted about her before awhile ago.  She’s like a human Cathy Comic.  I liked her though.  I think she’s smart, funny, well-meaning, and enjoyable in small doses.   I’ve extended a number of invitations to her over the last year.  Several months ago, she just stopped responding.  I’m the last holdout on the fucking Facebook, but other friends tried to contact her though her page.  She never responded, despite her FB page showing recent updated activity.  She’s a single woman living alone on my side of town.  Therefore, it’s partially my responsibility to make sure she didn’t die alone, and her cat wasn’t gnawing off her three-day-dead face.  After multiple attempted contacts from a number of sources, finally a co-worker confirmed that Cathy Comic is fine.  No illness.  No tragedy.  Just chronic unresponsiveness.  Well fuck you human Cathy Comic.  Do you know how rude it is to make people worry?  Cathy Comic must be so flush with friends that she doesn’t need any more thoughtful people to care about her.  Well it’s a good thing because I won’t be wasting a moment more of my concern.  I’m recycling that friendship like yesterday’s newspaper.  And don’t come calling when he dumps you.  I don’t want to hear it.  CATHY COMIC BEDIf you are late, call.  If people express concern, respond.  Remember that pit of anxiety that forms when you are worried about someone you love.  Don’t ever recklessly give another that feeling due to your own thoughtlessness and irresponsibility.  It’s fucking rude, and it makes you unworthy of the concern.BYE CATHY

 

a big heartfelt hug

HUGSMy friend had the worst day of her life today.  She suffered a life-altering loss.  I’m not there to hug her.  We live 1400 miles apart.  I have to hug her here.  She’s a loyal reader.  Send a little love to our girl today.  She needs it.  I available to you, call me anytime.  Anything you need.  I love you and I understand.  FRIEND HUG

 

thank you for being a friend

BLONDE REDOne of my nearest and dearest sets off for a new job, a new locale, and a whole new life today.  I’m super proud of her.  She’s worked hard and deserves success.  Even though we’re no longer geographically close, I’m not worried about our friendship diminishing with distance.  We’ve been supertight friends for a decade, so whether we’re apart 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years it’s like no time has passed.  Treasure your friends, and hang on regardless of where life takes you.  When the men have gone and the children are grown, it’s just going to be you, me, Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia out on the lanai. 

on friendship: shitty, mediocre, or exemplary?

TALKING SHITSome hateful bitches are talking smack about you.  A shitty friend adds to the gossip.  A mediocre friend remains sheepishly silent.  An exemplary friend ferociously defends you. CLUELESS FALLYou trip and fall flat on your ass in front of a crowd of people.  A shitty friend laughs.  A mediocre friend backs away fearing contamination by third-party embarrassment.  An exemplary friend scoops you up, asks if you are alright, and loudly proclaims “nothing to see here” as she escorts you to the bar for a recovery drink.JENNY MCCARTHY ENGAGEDYou get engaged and share the news.  A shitty friend informs you she slept with your fiancé a few years ago.  A mediocre friend offers a bland congratulations.  An exemplary friend says “I’m so happy for you” and really means it.  DADYour Dad dies.  A shitty friends sends you a sympathetic text.  A mediocre friend sends flowers.  An exemplary friend sends weed. BAG OF WEED

 

Most Annoying

LAUREN CONRADIt is most annoying when I am making plans with a friend and she frames the agenda around her boyfriend’s needs.  “My boyfriend wants to stay here.” or “I can’t.  My boyfriend’s work schedule changed.”  I get partnership, responsibility sharing and whatnot, but I don’t give a fuck about your boyfriend’s preferences.  I’m friends with you and not your boyfriend.  Chances are I’ve known you longer than you’ve known your boyfriend.  I was here before your boyfriend.  I will be here long after your boyfriend is gone.  Please remember that truth when you dick me to swing off your boyfriend’s nutsack.  Furthermore, your boyfriend would find you a lot more interesting if you had your own life and exercised a modicum of independence.NUTSACK

The Saturday Night Supper Club

LAST LADY SUPPERSuper big thanks to all the wonderful women who joined me for the first meeting of the Saturday Night Supper Club.  Gathering eight women is like herding cats, but ultimately so worth the effort.    HERD CATS

She Forgave Me

MACAQUE DOVE FRIENDSA few weeks ago I posted about a friend I offended.  Recently, she and I had an honest talk and buried the proverbial hatchet.  During the conversation, she admitted that one of her standard responses to conflict was to just cut the person off completely.  She had considered such a response to our situation, but thankfully felt sadness at the idea of us not talking again.  This got me thinking.  When should you cut somebody off and when should you graciously forgive?GANDHI FORGIVE

I keep a very tight-knit coven comprised of a select group.  You are either in or you are out.  I do not take shit.  But I am forgiving.  I’ve had friends drift in and out of the circle over the years.  When someone approaches me with sincere contrition, my compassion won’t let me hold a grudge.  Most friendship offenses I can forgive and forget.  There are major exceptions to this rule.  Betrayal breaks us.  Publicly embarrass me more than once and you’re out.  I can’t with the raging Narcissists anymore.  If you’re a bigot, a liar, a thief, or suffer some other sort of basic fundamental character flaw than you would never make it into my inner-circle anyway.  The lengthy application process and a number of time-honored tests weed out the weak and unworthy.440 GIRLSAlmost everything else, I eventually let go.  Small infractions, petty grievances, thoughtless comments, who among us isn’t guilty of saying or doing something stupid?  Major life events like death, divorce, and disease deserve MAJOR friendship leeway.  Empathy looks good on everyone.  I offer my friends the same grace I wish to receive in response to my less graceful moments.  I rely on them to steer me straight when I veer off course. STEER ME STRAIGHT

In my humble experience (which includes relationships that span 25+ years), the friendships that last are the ones that are allowed to morph, change, and grow with the people involved.  Over a lifetime, friendships may include periods of great intimacy or estrangement, but true pals are always welcomed back into the fold.RORY LANE

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: Don’t Post About Your Friends Without Permission

BACKSTABBERWow.  I really shit the bed you guys.  A couple of weeks ago, I threw up a post willy nilly that hurt my friend’s feelings.  I’m concerned I’ve done irreparable damage to the relationship.  I’m heartsick at the thought because I truly love, value, respect, and honor this person.  This woman is generous, kind, intelligent, caring, and fun, so I’m a real asshole for hurting her feelings.DON'T BE MADOver dinner with other friends, one of my nearest and dearest leveled that she thought is was definitely off-side that I hadn’t given our other friend a head’s up on the post.  Duly Noted.  In fairness, if someone put me on blast on the internet, I would be IRATE.  Hypocrisy is just another of my more charming qualities.A TRUE FRIENDMy friend is super pissed and she has every right to be.  I have apologized in writing because she understandably isn’t interested in talking to me right now.  I hope she gives me the opportunity to make amends in person.  I make really good amends.FORGIVE METo this dear and cherished friend:  I apologize.  I was wrong.  I mishandled the situation.  My intention was never to hurt you, and I feel terribly that I did through my own thoughtlessness.  I hope you will forgive me because you are like a sister.I'M SORRYIf it makes you feel better you can call me a bitch on Facebook.  I deserve it.CALL ME A BITCH

I don’t want to be friends…

TUPPERWARE PARTY…with opportunists who only act like they are my friend to sell me something like Arbonne or Landmark.  I thought you were reaching out to form a relationship, but instead you just want my coin.  I know the economy is bad, but must there always be a pecuniary interest?  Sheesh.

DUCK DOLLAR…with self-centered assholes who only talk about themselves, think about themselves, and are only really interested in themselves. ME ME ME

…with users who keep me around to make themselves feel better.MEAN GIRLS

…with needy bitches.

HIGH MAINTENACE

…with my exes.  How can you be friends with someone who broke your heart?LOVE IS

…with trollops who would sleep with my man if given the chance.

JORDAN AND RAYANNE