Just finished Whateverland, the new book by Alexis Stewart and Jennifer Koppelman Hutt. The thrown together self-proclaimed anti self-help book doesn’t add much to the conversation. Filled with anecdotes and affluence-skewed life advice, the content retreads material familiar to fans of Whatever Martha! or the pair’s satellite radio show. 
The throwaway read was quite the disappointment until I reached the conclusion, where out of no where the two announce, “Our working relationship and friendship were great while they lasted.” Odd, right? It is one thing to have a falling out with a friend; it is another to confess it in the book you co-wrote. Last week Jennifer and Alexis appeared on The Today Show and much ado has been made about Stewart’s icy demeanor. She was chilly, but when has Alexis ever been warm and fuzzy?
Alexis made a few pointed digs about “clingyness” and serving the silent treatment, but so far the details of the friendship demise are sketchy. Jennifer appears to be taking the high road, even going so far as to say she “loves” Alexis despite their rift. So what’s the story ladies? Unless Jennifer dropped your new baby Jude on her head or something, Alexis should really get over it and stop acting like she’s flush with friends. A loyal friend is hard to find. Let the little things go and forgive.
The Three of Cups unites, encourages sharing, and elicits trust in others. Three of Cups celebrates the bond of female friendships – the connections that truly hold this planet together. Love and support are the sentiments filling the cups in this toast. Drink, dance, and celebrate your most precious platonic relationships. That struggle? Consider it concluded. The compromise? It is going to work.
Countess LuAnn’s panties got all damp when Victoria told her that her guy friends think she’s attractive. LuAnn begs, “What do they say, what do they say?”…”That’s weird when a boy your age thinks your Mother is hot, so dirty!” Put down the fishing pole LuAnn, I thought we were done reassuring you last week. Sleep soundly tonight reassured you are indeed a MILF.
The other biddies keep harping on what Kelly is going to tell her kids about Playboy. Kelly has a lot of explaining to do to her kids anyway. After assault charges, cat fights, and alleged Sam Talbot-fucking, this Playboy shoot is the least of Sea and Teddy’s problems.
Did Bethenny give any worthwhile advice at the Leaning Annex Class? Mostly, it looked like she horrified the Upper East Side over-fifty set with her Lower East Side mouth. I’ve read Bethenny’s book. Let me summarize: eat as little as possible, when you do eat, don’t eat crap, and put it in a ramekin. Profoundly insightful, I know. Bethenny has a nice figure, but there are murmurs it has more to do with her laxative enthusiasm than her self-control, but I ain’t one to gossip, so you didn’t hear it from me……
Kelly, for the record, parting an animal with its hide is an inherently abusive practice. You’re right when you say you are a cold blooded person, but you are dead wrong to believe that wearing fur is not a selfish and cruel choice. I hope that fur springs alive and starts nibbling on you.
Jill and LuAnn lost their balance with Bethenny’s lubricious blitz at the Jill Stuart fashion show. Funny that Kelly and Bethenny smooch-smooch it up like nothing ever happened. Jill looks like she’s about to chunder during the runway presentation. Was she nauseous from the clothes or the conflict?
I miss Jill and Bethenny, and they obviously miss each other. I wish Bethenny could be a more courageous woman and apologize. I wish Jill would stop trying to turn all the other housewives against Bethenny like this is seventh grade. Fight your own battles Jill, you are a grown ass woman!
Remember Grasshoppers, true and meaningful connections are exceedingly rare in this cruel, hate-filled world. Never let pride destroy a friendship.-
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