Tag Archives: generosity

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: the birthday dinner

SATC 35 BIRTHDAYI’m all for going big on birthdays.  I’m happy to be included in an ensemble dinner celebrating my friend’s birth.  What I do not enjoy is picking up the financial slack for the other diners.  Explicitly, attendance at a birthday dinner means you are communally paying for the birthday boy/girl’s dinner, drinks, and gratuity.  I was recently at a dinner of about 15 people celebrating a friend’s birthday.  I told the server to put birthday girl’s order on my tab.  Whether the majority lack mindfulness or are just cheap, only 2 people of 15 attendees offered a contribution to the birthday girl’s portion of the bill.  I can’t excuse such grotesque and tacky behavior.  These grown folks should know better.  Err on the side of generosity in dealing with matters that involve communal cash.  Verify the bill is adequately covered including a generous tip for the server.  If you are invited to such a dinner and finances are a concern, it’s your responsibility to budget for you + 1, which may mean you order one less drink or a less expensive meal.   BILL SPLITTER

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: Tip the Maid

Like many of these Demeter Clarc Manners Moments, some of you will be like, “duh”, and some of you will claim you’ve never heard of the custom before.  Let’s talk about tipping housekeeping when you stay at a hotel.  We all know that for the most part, cleaning up after others is a boring, thankless, and often disgusting job.  Why not express gratitude for your housekeeper’s service with a tip?

There are different schools of thought on the best way to tip your housekeeper.  I like a daily tip rather than a lump sum offering at the end of the stay.  Tipping daily ensures that even if different folks clean my room, each will get a little thank you gratuity.  Also, a daily tip ensures no shortage of fresh towels and sample size toiletries, while encouraging staff to sniff the other way if clouds of cannabis start wafting from my room.So how much is right?  Well it is all up to what you feel comfortable with, but I would say certainly no less than $1-2 per day and no more than $5 a day, unless the service is nothing short of spectacular and then the sky is the limit.  Frankly, in this age of dismally mediocre service, exemplary conduct should be profusely rewarded.  What wouldn’t I tip to avoid an encounter with a dubious pube?  Don’t even start with the “I don’t have cash” bullshit.  It is your OBLIGATION to carry cash while traveling for this very purpose.  It is just as important as your ID and suitcase. 

For those cheap motherfuckers who never tip, I’m just going to say it straight up – you are showing your ass.  Not a good look.  Take care of your housekeeper and they will take care of you.  Mahalo bitches!

Hats off to Leonard Cohen

Recently, I had the privilege of seeing Leonard Cohen live.  One of my most thoughtful and generous friends laid two tickets on me for a special occasion.  (Thanks Dez!)I think we can use the word “icon” liberally here without quibbling.  Cohen’s lengthy career boasts genius contributions both past and present.  He stacks the odds by surrounding himself with other incomparable musical masters like Roscoe Beck, Alexandru Bublitchi, Rafael Gayol, Neil Larsen, Javier Mas, Sharon Robinson, Mitch Watkins, and Charlie and Hattie Webb.  Perhaps none of those names are familiar to you and that’s fine.  Just know these are the caliber of musicians that instruments are named after – musicians’ musicians. I know what you are thinking… Leonard Cohen is old as fuck, does he still have it?  Spry, smart, sexy and humble, he not only holds his own against performers a quarter of his age, he outright shames them.  Leonard Cohen is the canon.  When you see a man like Leonard Cohen live, you know what it is to be in the midst of greatness, and it is a rare privilege.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.



moving moments part one

Ya’ll knew it was coming, here are a few of my best packing and moving tips.  First things first, before you bring in a single box, clean your new place from top to bottom or pay someone else to clean it.  Please don’t move into another’s filth.  Sanitize the space and clear the energy.  Burn a sage bundle bitch.5)      Moving yourself?  Get a bigger truck than you think you will need.  Extra space is a luxury.  Pick too small a truck and find yourself stressfully sacrifice-sorting as you load cargo to the gills.  If renting a truck, spring for the insurance. 4)      Speaking of sorting, before you ever get to the truck, mercilessly cut from your collection.  Give your friends first dibs, and send the rest to charity.  At least the most useless 25% of your shit needs to go.  After giving friends a bunch of free stuff you won’t feel so bad asking them to help you help carry the sofa.  3)      Most major retailers give away boxes for free.  That’s no big secret.  So don’t skimp on purchasing accessories and packing supplies.  Paper, wrap, specialty boxes; get what you need to properly prepare your belongings to survive the journey.  The cost of proper packing supplies pales in comparison to the heartache of opening a box upon arrival and finding a fractured heirloom.  Get a variety of box sizes, and don’t pack them so heavy you can’t carry them up and down stairs.  Protect yourself with proper planning. 2)      Take care of valuables yourself.  Handle special or sentimental items personally or risk possible destruction.  No one will handle your most precious baubles as tenderly. 1)      Get plenty of sleep and take time to eat.  Once you arrive to your new home unpack as quickly and completely as possible.  Don’t stop working on your new home until everything has a special place.  If you just shove things in drawers and closets without care the place will remain an unorganized mess.  Arrange everything carefully from the start and maintain a tidy home with ease.


I have this fantastic friend who gives the best gifts.  Over the weekend, she brought me this amazing patchouli perfume from France, some Gala Fashion mags, and French Elnett.  Plus, she always smuggles the best snacks.  Her thoughtful and expertly cultivated selections make me feel so happy and loved.  I aspire to give gifts with the same sparkle.  I appreciate you, your talent, and your generosity AMP!  You are a blessing.