Tag Archives: Giorgio Armani

fall 2012 rtw: diverse dresses

Could Joan Smalls look any better in Diane von Furstenberg?  Perfection. VPLYou know I can’t pass up a horse: Pedro Lourenco.Costello Tagliapietra Prabal GurungGiorgio ArmaniVivienne Tam

fall 2012 rtw: girly coats

Burberry ProrsumHelmut LangAlberta FerrettiChadwick BellGiorgio ArmaniRuffianMissoniRag & BoneBurberry Prorsum

2012 Oscars Style Review: The Best, The Worst, The Most, The Toast

The Best: Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli

This gorgeous gown fit her body perfectly, accentuated her tiny waist, and stood out in a sea of mediocrity.  Don’t love the accessories, but I’m not in the mood to quibble.

You Saw It Here First: Shailene Woodley in Valentino Couture

Fresh from the couture collections, Shailene Woodley wore this modern, white, long-sleeved number.  It might look familiar since we featured it as part of the best of Fall 2012 Couture earlier this month.  It’s a little old for her, and her face would benefit from a pop of color, but not a flop by any means.

Most Confusing: Viola Davis in Vera Wang

This looks like the homicide of Puff the Magic Dragon.  A full-on unmitigated lapse in aesthetic judgment.

Fulfilled Potential: Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera

We’ve all been waiting for Tina Fey to step out looking this good.  Finally, she’s really come into her own in this navy peplum-detailed gown.

Evoking a Cult Leader: Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford

I’m not saying I don’t like this, but she’s delivering a whole lot of white here.  Can’t you picture her standing at a podium condescendingly addressing an arena full of Goopies in this odd get-up?   “Follow me, affluent women, to the land of organic peas…”

Most Offensive Overtry: Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad

Nude illusion Fruit Stripe Gum.

Culmination of a Bad Fashion Awards Season Run: Jessica Chastain

Fashion-wise, Chastain hasn’t found her identity.  Her style choices were as varied and uneven as her performances this year.  It looks like she skinned Kimora Lee’s sofa.  Let this be a lesson – McQueen is not for everyone.

Let Me Upgrade You: Clooney in Armani, Keibler in Marchesa

Clooney’s clout ensures his girls-of-the-moment have access to all the best fashion houses and some very high-end clothes, but even in all their borrowed sartorial finery, his dates still look like they should be holding cards above their heads in the middle of a wrestling ring.

Most Predictable: Pitt in Tom Ford and Jolie in Versace Atelier

I’m so bored with these two.  Oh, how fucking shocking you two bitches showed up in black.  Close your legs dear, you’re not dancing the can-can.  Ever since I heard that thing she said to him at the Globes, I’ve kinda hated them.  She turned to him and said “you’re prettier than me.”  Fucking voms yo.

The Bridesmaids: Kristin Wiig in J. Mendel

While the bodice of this dress is tailored beautifully for her body, the placement of the break into the texture is awkward and unflattering.

Melissa McCarthy in Marina Rinaldi

Are we calling this mauve?  I’m pretty sure we issued a fatwa on mauve at the end of the 80′s.

Maya Rudolph in Johanna Johnson

Here’s one of the few purple looks of the night.  It’s a safe, conservative, and unoffensive choice.  The side-swept hair is very Mariah.

Building Relationships Pays Off: Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji

After favorable reviews from fashion folk for her Globes look, Octavia went back to Tadashi Shoji for her Oscar gown.  Clearly, cultivating that relationship has paid off; the designer knows her body and the fit is beautiful.  Second best of the night.

Dress I wanna like, but Don’t: Cameron Diaz in Gucci

I really want to like this Gucci gown, but I don’t.  She needs a waist and this dress gives her no shape through the torso.  It reminds me of a melting chocolate and vanilla soft-serve twist cone.

Consistently Wasted Potential: Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

This dress is too fussy, ill-fitting, and heavy for such a delicate wisp of a girl.  This ensemble ain’t right – the necklace, the bag (and I get where they are going with the clash, but here, no), and that gawd awful frump of a saloon-girl-gone-wrong disaster of a frock.

Sure to be Critically EvisceratedRooney Mara in Givenchy

No one will get this.  Even if they did, the cut isn’t flattering to her body.  If you do avant-garde, you have to do it impeccably.

Post-baby Blah: Natalie Portman in vintage Dior

She gave birth to a new era of shitty style.

Two A-List Underwhelmers: Sandra Bullock in Marchesa and Penelope Cruz in Giorgio Armani.

Sandra’s dress isn’t doing her body any favors.  Is a gold shrub trying to munch her bush?  WTF?  Pene, you are almost forty, enough with the princess shit.  Join us in 2012.

GRAMMY 2012: whitney’s wake

The best of the night were all appropriately in black.  Rihanna plunged in the front and sloped low in the back in this major ArmaniGwyneth repped her inner-circle in Stella McCartney.  From the neck down Gwyneth looks amazing, but she’s looking a little inflamed in the face.  Bad bronzer or bad eight ball?  You decide.  Adele turned it out in Armani.  We sure as fuck knew she wouldn’t wear Chanel after Karl’s latest round of bad Grandpa fat comments.Not all the black was good; Julianne Hough wasted her crazy toned body in this unflattering and boring Kaufmanfranco.Bruno Mars gave a little ankle in this fashion-forward Thom Browne look.  Not everyone will get it, but I appreciate the effort. Saggy tits.  That’s the first thing that comes to mind when I see Katy Perry in this Elie Saab gown.  The sophomoric blue hair and the pastel Tinkerbell gown are enough to induce the heaves.  This girl cannot sing, she cannot dress, and therefore I have no use for her.  No use at all.  Good day Katy Perry.  I said good day.And the “desperately seeking attention” award goes to….miz Minaj.  She has talent, so why won’t she lead with it?  It’s Versace by the way.  The cape not the bishop. Let’s work our way through the “irrelevant in white” category.  Kathy Griffin wore Michael Kors rather well.  Why is it when she looks better she’s less funny?Kate Beckinsale usually shows up to these events in overblown ball gowns, so this Zuhair Murad is actually a surprisingly appropriate choice for her.  She still can’t ditch the pageant hair, but baby steps are still progress.  Paris Hilton wore a well-tailored Basil Soda.  I’m not on fire for the white and gold combo.  She looks better than usual, but a skosh overdressed.Robyn, L.A. doesn’t do the whole quirky Nordic thing.  Just ask Bjork.  This whole look is an unmitigated hell no. One of the few pops of color, Fergie in Jean Paul Gaultier; I can feel how much she desperately wants our approval, but I must withhold it.  Adam Levine doing his best Scott Disick.  Between Scott and Adam, who do you think gets called “douche” more often to his face?Taylor Swift is like the Nicole Kidman of the under-25 set.  This over-serious frock is a Zuhair Murad creation.

SPRING 2012 RTW: headgear

Karen Elson headlines Anna Sui.Haider AckermannBalenciagaComme des GarconsKate Moss for Louis Vuitton.Christian DiorLindsey Wixson works a doll pout at Nina Ricci.Giorgio Armani.Jil Sander.Abbey Lee at Nina Ricci.  Anybody else think she looked a little off this season?

 

SPRING 2012 RTW: baggage

Anna SuiMichael KorsValentinoBottega VenetaGiorgio ArmaniBalenciagaMarniLouis VuittonSalvatore FerragamoPrada

SPRING 2012 RTW: groupies

Jean Paul GaultierGiorgio ArmaniD&GYigal AzrouëlDolce & GabbanaDennis BassoJill StuartJust CavalliJoan Smalls struts at Jean Paul Gaultier.

Sunday with the Couturiers

Azzedine AlaïaMaxime SimoensSusanna Venegas & Bill Gaytten for Christian Dior CoutureThe Grandpappy at Chanel, Mr. LagerfeldAnne Valérie HashGiambattista ValliBouchra JarrarGaultier Pier Paolo Piccioli & Maria Grazia Chiuri for ValentinoElie SaabRiccardo Tisci helms Givenchy.Alexis MabilleGiorgio Armani

FALL 2011 RTW: coats

We’re about half way through the fashion marathon folks.  Try and pace yourselves.  Viktor & Rolf showed an impressive collection of architectural pinwheel shapes. Think a coat discussion is irrelevant now?  These are the shapes for next year, betcha there are similar high-end clearance options still floating around.  Now is the time to find a steal.

Black, white, bold color, pastels, and even patterns – really, almost anything goes.   How magnificent is this Zac Posen full-length evening coat?

Don’t worry; trenches aren’t going anywhere.