Tag Archives: Giuliana Rancic

a little light reading

GOING OFF SCRIPTAfter hate-reading Frankel’s latest relationship advice book, I word-snacked on Giuliana Rancic’s Going Off Script: How I Survived a Crazy Childhood, Cancer, and Clooney’s 32 On-Screen Rejections.  I know, my literary predilections are so intellectual right now.  Due to extremely low expectations, I enjoyed Giuliana’s book more than I thought I would, especially her recounting of pulling a bitch out of class and beating her ass in the high school hallway, nearly choking out her college boyfriend, and confirming Jerry O’Connell is an epic social-climbing douche.  You can take the girl out of Naples, but not the Naples out of the girl…Now I’m thoroughly enjoying the illuminating Is Gwyneth Paltrow Wrong About Everything?: How the Famous Sell Us Elixirs of Health, Beauty & Happiness by Timothy Caulfield.  In my line of work, someone is always bragging about improving themselves with the latest cleanse, juicing, or ridiculous beauty treatment.  We’ve all fallen prey.  Caulfield debunks the efficacy of a number of diets and beauty treatments by exposing the utter lack of scientific basis behind most of the shit celebs shill.  The hyped Dr. Junger Clean Cleanse promoted by Gwyneth Paltrow is apparently total bullshit.  Facials and facial acupuncture have no merit.  Adrenal fatigue is medical fiction.  According to this book, most of what you spend your time and money on has absolutely no bearing on your health or beauty.  It is both depressing – when considering how much money and time I’ve wasted on bunk beauty bullshit, and refreshing – in knowing how much money, time, and energy I’ll save moving forward by sticking with what really works.  And what is that you ask?  There are no secrets.  It’s all stuff you’ve heard before.  Eat a diet comprised of at least 50% fruits and vegetables.  Wear sunscreen.  Sleep.  Beyond these basic time-tested truths, science suggests very little else has any impact on your beauty or health at all.GWYNETH IS WRONG

Sunday with Mom

SAGS 2013: If you care what they wear

Jane Krakowski wore KauffmanFranco – best color, unforgivable tailoring.

Zac Posen really only makes variations of one basic gown, but it is a damn fine gown – as seen here on dingbat Amanda Seyfried.

Boldest couple debut: Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel.  Our little Rory Gilmore loves her co-stars doesn’t she?

Anne Hathaway demonstrates the most ill-advised use of a Giambattista Valli dress.

The Jenny Packham girls, the better version above on Jenna Fischer and the lesser below on Kelly Osbourne.

The head to toe hell no – Sofia Vergara in Donna Karan.

Claire had nowhere to go but down after her last showing, but the aging makeup and side boob vadge action aren’t working in this Givenchy. Giuliana is showing positive progress on probation after her last fashion felony in this far less offensive Max Azria.

Elisabeth Moss gives some gams in Dolce & Gabbana.

Can you feel the tension in this high-fashion face off between January Jones in Prabal Gurung and Jessica Paré in Jason Wu?  The straps on the Jason Wu look a bit like suspenders.  I appreciate that January Jones doesn’t dress for the men, but could she pick something flattering just once?

Most timelessly spectacular putting all these young bitches to shame – Mizz Jessica Lange.

Jessica Chastain contends for best dressed in Alexander McQueen, but the lipstick is wrong and she needs to whiten her teeth.

Gorgeous and talented Jennifer Lawrence has no fucking clue how to dress herself.  Christian Dior can throw couture at her the whole award season through, and she’ll waste every opportunity with the wrong hair, jewelry, and makeup.

Julianne Moore should only let Tom Ford dress her because this Chanel is a fucking floral flat-tittied disaster.

What do we think of these two?  Jennifer Westfeldt looks better than usual if a tad boobish in Blumarine.

Let’s start with the hair – an obvious hot mess, move down to the 3D bustage on this strange Vivienne Westwood, glance at those lame duck shoes and declare Nicole Kidman an epic dud.

Me likey Nina Dobrev in this Elie Saab, even if it is quite derivative of Emma Stone in Calvin Klein from a season or two ago.

Look at our little Kiernan Shipka all grown up in this Oscar de la Renta.

Not a Good Look

Bethenny jet-setting with billionaire Warren Lichtenstein and her daughter Bryn in the midst of a messy divorce is not a good look.Adrienne Maloof and Sean Stewart serving us Harold and Maude is definitely not a good look. Joan Rivers conspicuously ignoring Giuliana’s heinous Globes gown on Fashion Police is suspiciously not a good look. Lance Armstrong’s reluctantly contrite (but for sure contrived) ass was not a good look on Oprah’s Next Chapter.

JLo’s People cover = Not a Good Look. Lisa Vanderpoop’s insipid new spinoff celebrating adulterers is not a good look.


Golden Globes 2013:…and the Award Goes to…

Salma Hayek in Gucci for the Best Bluish Black.  She has a certain carefree sparkle only a billion dollars can buy.  Nicole Richie in Naeem Khan for best Palm Beach Housewife.  Is this bitch 74?  G-jus. Amanda Seyfried in Givenchy for most Unseasonably Springy.  I should hate this doily shit, but I don’t. Claire Danes in red Versace for best Post Baby Body Bounce-Back.  Doesn’t she look 10 years younger with those 15 extra pounds?Connie Britton wins Most Consistent in KaufmanFranco.Jessica Alba for most Irrelevantly Gorgeous.  Penalty for skinning a defenseless Muppet for that embarrassing bag. Amy Adams in Marchesa wins the prize for Most Likely to be Accidentally Confused with Taylor Swift.Halle Berry for Misdemeanor Midriff Exposure in VersaceSally Field for worst Granny Globes, gown by Alberta Ferretti.Kerry Washington for Most Overrated in Miu Miu.Anne Hathaway for Most Boring Chanel.Zosia Mamet for Best of the Girls.Lena Dunham for snatching Helen Mirren’s Zac Posen gown.Allison Williams for Most Forgettable Girl.Jessica Chastain in Calvin Klein Slightly Wrong from Head to Toe.Jennifer Lawrence for failure to learn from Jessica Biel’s Weird Dior-titty Mistake. Lucy Liu for Most Incongruent in Carolina Herrera.  What is this floral fuckmess?Hayden Panettiere wins Most Repetitious in Roberto Cavalli.  Jennifer Lopez for Most in Need of a Divorce from Zuhair Murad.Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta for Most Misguided Personal Style.…Naomi Watts for Best Zac Posen.…Nicole Kidman for Most Improved Hair.  This is a chicer length for her. …Rachel Weisz in Louis Vuitton for the Worst 3-Way Split.Giuliana Rancic in Celia Kritharioti for Most Felonious Showing by an Officer of the Fashion Police.

Three for Thursday + The Conversation

First, congratulations to Giuliana and Bill, who predictably selected the gestational carrier option in their quest for offspring that shares their genetic material.  Will they include the child in next season of their reality show?  I predict the calculated couple film the whole entire birth, hand-off, and reception.  Just a hunch.  Second, Tyra fired Nigel, Miss J and Mr. Jay!  That’s everybody.  I don’t even watch ANTM anymore, but really what is Top Model without those three? Third, you’re watching Girls right?  I enjoyed Tiny Furniture, and after two episodes of Girls, I think I’m enjoying it too.  I’m cautiously optimistic for the painfully self-aware HBO series.Gonna tune in tonight to watch The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet?  (Ever seen Fall?  1997 cult classic.  Look into it.  Fun fromage.)  Gwyneth is on the premiere.  The Conversation will be annoyingly pretentious and therefore unmissable.

Giuliana & Bill Back Tonight with Sadtimes

Tonight Giuliana and Bill try to squeeze lemons into lemonade with the reality show reveal of G‘s cancer diagnosis.  I’m sincerely thrilled G appears to have beat her illness and come through the other side to thrive.  She seems to have handled the news with tremendous grace and fortitude.  Sheesh, she barely took a day off filming.  I’ve taken more time off waiting for a zit to heal. I do wonder how many folksy Midwestern platitudes and sports-themed analogies we will have to endure from Bill this season.  His Coach Rancic pep talks and relentless optimism don’t always land authentically.  Can you coach someone through a cancer diagnosis?  We’re about to find out.

a few for Friday: B, G, and B&B

So what do we make of the Bethenny Frankel money mystery?  Her desperate visit on The Today Show did little to clarify doubts surrounding the sale of Skinnygirl Cocktails.  She implied the 100+ million dollar figure was accurate.  Doubters at Huffpo ran a retraction.  Her defensive and side-stepping response has everybody wondering about the truth.  Fishy.Today also broke the Giuliana Rancic cancer diagnosis story this week.  I have a soft spot for Giuliana and frown over her sad turn of luck.  Word is the cancer was present in both breasts, and she had a double lumpectomy within the last couple days.  The medical community rushed to defend IVF and insist that the treatments did not necessarily increase the risk of cancer.  Some cancers are hormone-fed, correct?  IVF involves super doses of hormones, correct?  Doctors are making a shitload of money off fertility treatments, including IVF, correct?  Correct.  In more uplifting news, I’m living for Beavis and Butt-head right now and anxiously await the premiere next Thursday.  This is one remake that won’t suck.  No one will miss Jersey Snore.  This season was extra weak marinara sauce.  Seriously though, the question we’ve all been skirting: is it possible Pauly D is gay?  Carefully consider it.

Are we over ombré?

For the last few years, many ladies have been rocking the ombré hair as seen here on Lily Aldridge.  This low maintenance style actually looks better as it grows out with darker roots and lighter tips. Transitioning from solid root-to-tip color towards gradual dark-to-light makes a lot of sense for fall.  Summer’s highlights can appear a little harsh against fairer skin.  It never hurts to freshen and revise your presentation every season.Ombré mimics the hair’s natural darkening as the Sun retreats and most of us head indoors.  This look feels right for this time of year, no?When executed correctly, the color shift should be subtle and without clear lines of demarcation like Mz. Simpson.  It should not look like the tips of your hair were soaked in a bucket of bleach à la Teyana Taylor.  Some may argue that ombré is so over, but this inexpensive alternative to pricey and high maintenance highlights ain’t going anywhere.  This modern and easy color option flatters most folks.At the moment, Giuliana Rancic is the unabashed poster girl for this trend.  She’s been repping this look for a hot minute.  We agree her extensions are about six inches too long though, right?  Desperate much?Those who want to crank it up a notch, consider a gradient of red hues or working a strong bang into the mix.