Last month I hit up the Bobbi Brown friends & family event and used the discount to justify trying a few new products. Always on the look out for an amazing new makeup moment, I splurged on Bobbi Brown EXTRA Repair Foundation. This ultra-rich base contains shea butter, evening primrose oil, broad spectrum SPF 25, and color corrector. It seems like I’d love it, but I don’t. 
I’m a fan of Bobbi’s tinted moisturizer, but occasionally crave more coverage. Bobbi Brown EXTRA Repair Foundation definitely provides it, but the richness of the formula makes it difficult to blend. Furthermore, the seemingly genius notion of adding color corrector in practical application doesn’t really work. First, we don’t need color corrector everywhere. Second, it compromises the integrity of Bobbi’s otherwise usually flawless foundation shades. Meaning the shade “Warm Ivory” in Bobbi’s tinted moisturizer isn’t the same “Warm Ivory” of Bobbi Brown EXTRA Repair Foundation. The latter has a decidedly yellow cast. 
Lastly, the SPF burns my eyes. These broad spectrum sunscreen ingredients irritate me to the point of tears. 
I met this really nice woman several months ago through professional avenues. She was kind and complimentary of my services. She mentioned during the course of our conversation that she sold all natural skincare products called Arbonne and provided me with a generous sample. A couple days later, she emailed me to see how I liked the products. Avid readers know that I keep my samples for traveling, so I hadn’t even tried them yet. I told her as much, and that I’d let her know when I got around to them on my next trip.
When I finally tried the RE9 Advanced samples, I begrudgingly admitted they were good. Keeping my word, I told her of my positive experience with the products. Of course this triggered an intense sales push. I planned to get just one, but the company made it so difficult and financially illogical to try a single product that I ended up backing out of the overly-complicated transaction. She wanted me to pay $20 under the guise that I can benefit from a year-long discount on all their products, plus they want me to pay shipping. Those fucking sales lures annoy me.
Our host spread products everywhere: in the living room, in the dining room, and in the kitchen where we began. She prepared energy shots and protein shakes, and peppered us with product points as we consumed the mysterious contents of the offered Dixie cups. Next, we were guided to the sofa. Now her captives, she commenced her spiel which was comprised of a lot of random, seemingly unrelated statistics about childhood obesity and the nation’s sugar intake. 
She promised us chocolate kisses if we asked questions. Most of the questions I asked she couldn’t answer. Questions like,
Insisting it wasn’t a pyramid scheme, she spent much of the demo trying to sell us on selling Arbonne. The “direct marketing” approach smacked of structured hierarchy. If it isn’t a pyramid scheme then why are you trying to add me to your team? When Dez showed just an inkling of interest in selling the products, our host would not let her leave without promising to host a demo herself.
Most people won’t get it, but Anja Rubik (in Anthony Vacarello) managed what many could not at the 2013 Met Gala. The model executed on the punk theme without falling into some of the most common sartorial traps of the evening (don’t worry, we’ll get there). The shape, color, and fabric reference punk while remaining high fashion. If this puresex look isn’t totally fuckable, you tell me what is? 
Let’s just get this GOOP out of the way right now before this candy-coated bitch drives me to distraction. I thought Paltrow swore off pink gowns after that cloying Ralph Lauren she donned for her Oscar win. Is she fucking with us? I loathe this Valentino Couture gown on so many levels I can only assume she chose it as her hate campaign uniform. Nude illusion, really girl? Pink shiny too short long sleeves? What? A puddle of bridesmaid satin pink? Incomprehensible. How is she going to sell those expensive gym memberships when the skinny bitch actually looks chubby (gasp!)?
Who the fuck did Kanye blow to get Kim in this year? So this florabomination is courtesy of Riccardo Tisci. I’m not sure we can blame him. All I can focus on is her Miss Piggy foot. Poor pregnant Kim is puffed up painfully and spilling over the edge of that shoe. The gloves are totally freaking me out. Hand camo. 
Cameron Diaz served up a spiky-waisted Stella McCartney in a bold blue cape style. I dislike how this frock is both droopy and restrictive. 
After all that Hathaway drama at the Oscars, Amanda drew upon all her Givenchy spokesbitch connections to score this archive gown. I think it is fucking genius. Suck it Anne! 
In Valentino, Anne Hathaway’s boobs channeled Madonna’s titties from the Express Yourself video, right? Do we like Annie as a blonde? I don’t hate it, but the brassy color is undoubtedly aging. 
Christina Ricci knocked on the door of the right fashion house – Vivienne Westwood – for a post-punk glam moment, but it looks like she got tangled up in the tartan. I do love the orange lip and fishnets. 
Ashley Olsen robbed a Palm Beach Socialite of her vintage Christian Dior Couture for her sherbet sparkling Met moment. In keeping with her body dismorphic trademark style, Mary-Kate wore Chanel and Balmain that was five sizes too big for her. 
I get the impression Allison Williams takes herself way too seriously. She smacks of try. The heinous piecemeal gown is Altuzarra.
Anna Wintour stuck with sequined floral Chanel, and Bee wore Dior. Can’t say I’m particularly wowed by the wicked stepsisters.
Does anyone wear clothes better and with more enthusiasm than SJP? Love her Giles Deacon gown and Phillip Treacy headpiece. 
Topshop dressed Nicole Richie. The overall styling isn’t that flattering, but I’m still oddly attracted to her white hair. Punk Glam Granny?
Opa! Here comes the flaming cheese – Beyoncé in Givenchy.
Uma Thurman looked absolutely snatched in this leafy Zac Posen. What did she do to her face?
Stella McCartney must be best friends with Liberty Ross because this outfit is obviously a revenge burn on Kristen Stewart. Is she smuggling honey-baked ham in there?
I’ve been loving me some Rita Ora lately. She not only successfully fucked-over that whiny Rob Kardashian, she looks super fresh in this white Thakoon.
Emma Watson worked her sexy, but she remained eternally adorable and demure in this Prabal Gurung. She’s our modern day Audrey. 
Miley really went for it in Marc Jacobs and it worked. Hate to admit she’s been serving something savory lately. Applause. 
Compare Miley to her contemporary Taylor Swift who looks about 53 in this old lady J. Mendel number.
Speaking of 53, Madonna came in her Givenchy costume. For a woman who hates her thighs, she sure is accentuating them in this fussy get-up. You could bounce a quarter off that face (and ass!). 
Dakota Fanning looked super cute in her Rodarte. Even though this look was understated compared to most, the simple and sweet styling stood out from the crowd. 
Here is Lena Dunham in Erdem with Erdem. The makeup is the best ever for her. 
Jessica Alba belongs on a Maxim list and nowhere else. Seriously, who wears Tory Burch to a punk themed gala? Sheesh. Why don’t you just wear Lilly Pulitizer bitch? 
Carey Mulligan is everything in Balenciaga. Die for the safety pin. It isn’t showy, but it doesn’t need to be. Fucking chic.
Lopez put a little leopard on it in Michael Kors. The girl gives good face, and I love the unusual hair Jen! Bonus points for not letting the cabana boy ruin the shot. 
May we all be this ravishing at her age. Diane von Furstenberg rolled in as a disco-dipped Mrs. Roper. 
So those perky bitches at the spa convinced me to buy a six peel package. I’m on peel four, (the first of which was not included in the package). The results have been widely varying from peel to peel. The first peel produced mild, but noticeable peeling. There was definitely a “peel” day. By the third sesh, I felt my skin had built up a tolerance, so when I entered my fourth I mentioned that the impact of the treatments seemed to diminish as the appointments progressed. She decided to leave the peel on a bit longer to intensify the results. 
Coachella left a dust storm film on my face which I really wanted to remove. I also endured significant and inevitable sun exposure standing in the middle of a polo field all damn day. These truths, paired with my recent usage of Arcona’s Mandarin Brightening Peel apparently left my skin quite vulnerable because my face really fucking peeled. Certain patches burned raw. Not to mention how embarrassing it is to walk around with your face flaking off visible debris. Not a good look. 
I don’t believe I have suffered any permanent damage from my over enthusiasm, but I will never again challenge the aesthetician to intensify the power of the peel.
Better to have several mild peels with less irritation rather than one big inflamed peel that leaves you face-shamed for days. 
For years I have been flirting with the idea of investing in my own makeup airbrush system. A few things have held me back. First, many systems on the market have proprietary mechanisms which only allow you to use their very expensive makeup in their airbrush system. Considering the relative simplicity and ubiquity of airbrush technology, purchasing such a limited device makes no sense. All these airbrushers are basically the same whether you are decorating a cake, making miniature models, or painting your face. Don’t let those sneaky cosmetics companies convince you that you need to pay several hundred dollars for a device that is widely available for well under $100 bucks. 
I did consider purchasing an airbrush system originally developed for crafting or cake decorating, but during my dithering fate made my choice. This Christmas I received the Tickled Pink Airbrush System. At first, I was off-put by the cutesy-ness of it all. It was just so pink and precious and that shit makes me heave. Also, the makeup looked cheap in the bottle, and I was skeptical I could blend a color that would rival the natural look of my perennially favorite base Bobbi Brown. So the system sat on my shelf for several months. 
Only when a photo shoot threatened to expose my skin’s most obvious flaws did I pull Tickled Pink out and give it a whirl. My prejudices rarely work in my favor. I need to learn to give things a chance because Tickled Pink is the absolute bees knees bitches. 
Ignore the cheesy cheap packaging and focus on the splendid makeup. Mix the colors in your range to create the perfect customized shade from day to day. Super duper weightless yet full coverage, with Tickled Pink you are living the dream (right Lisa?).
I know you are thinking that learning to airbrush your own face could be tricky. Yes, it takes practice, but it isn’t that hard. Five times and you’ll find your fluency. With the awkward angle of self-application, I personally find using my thumb to pull back the trigger helps with control and steadiness. 
Prepare to enjoy weightless, airy, flawless coverage glowiness all day long with Tickled Pink Airbrush. Once you’ve had airbrush, traditional methods just won’t do. 
Ten days post-peel, I’m ready to discuss the final verdict on the paint-on glycolic acid procedure. Shall we review the pros and cons?
A few days ago, I shared with you that I indulged in a chemical peel (if one can call a controlled burn an “indulgence”). Upon first application, the glycolic acid tingles and itches a bit. My skin turned pink and then the inflammation more or less subsided within an hour or two. The next day my skin looked great and much improved. The stubborn bitch of a spot flaked away. I couldn’t have been more pleased. 
The third day brought on a challenging set of problems. All over light peeling and flaking left a splotchy and undesirable canvas for makeup. I turned down a highly enticing lunch date because I felt so self-conscious. These awkward, un-phenomenal face moments are the price one must pay to hopefully achieve clearer and more even texture once all that old skin is gone. 
Timing is everything. Remember that while the recovery period isn’t very long for most of these peels, there are a few days that you won’t look your best before the optimal results emerge. 
Even with humidifiers cranking in almost every room, I still struggle to keep my skin adequately hydrated in the winter. I’m always on the lookout for an amazing moisturizer and this year Atopalm Intensive Moisturizing Cream is my all-around favorite. 
Sufficiently rich but not overly so, Atopalm Intensive Moisturizing Cream is neutral enough for the face or chapped ballsacks. This versatile product truly heals dry, inflamed areas. 
I also enjoy that Atopalm is intelligently packaged to pass rigid TSA carry-on regulations, and it isn’t too pricey either. 
Murad’s really been pushing their “clinically proven” Clarifying Cleanser by giving away generous samples to the prestige beauty sites to disperse to qualifying buyers. I’m such a sample slut, I made sure to qualify. I’m almost through the tube, having used it on and off over the last few months. Murad claims 92% of users experience a reduction in breakouts in the first three days. I must be one the 8% leftover. Peruse the ingredients and then we’ll chat some more…
The sudsy clear gel provides a menthol-medical experience – think luxury Sea Breeze. Some will find it drying as I do. When used with a Clarisonic, a few drizzles on the bristles creates a foamy face washing experience, but the suds can be quite irritating to the eyes. Personally, I prefer a gentler, simpler wash with fewer harsh ingredients. 