Tag Archives: give

She Doesn’t Want Flowers

CAR WASHWash and gas the car.CLEAN BATHROOMClean the bathroom.MCGHEE BABYPrint and frame a photo.TORRES CHOCOLATEProcure the high-quality chocolate. MUFFINS IN BEDBreakfast in bed; blueberry muffins please.COUPLES YOGAPractice yoga together.WASH THE BEDLaunder the bedding.FUCKING HIPSTERS

 

Giving Granola

Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight.

 - Albert SchweitzerHOMELESS HELP

For many years, I have struggled with how to respond to people standing on medians and corners waiving signs for money.  My knee-jerk response is at first sympathy, followed up immediately with a wallop of shame for my own abundance.  To talk myself out of doing something generous and to assauge my own guilt, I told myself that these desperate people were scammers or presumed how they might use any spare change I might give.  These excuses have never really sat quite right when deep down I knew I was just selfishly ignoring the obvious suffering of others.  BAD HEART GOD BLESSI consulted with my good friend Lisa, who has virtually single-handedly reformed syringe access legislation in Colorado (to support Lisa’s good work please visit and donate to the www.harmreductionactioncenter.org).  Lisa spends a significant amount of time involved with outreach, much of which involves contact with the homeless.  She’ll tell you stories that will crack your heart in two.  Seeing as I can’t afford to place cash to every outreached hand, I asked Lisa if she thought it would be appropriate to share food – granola bars – or something similarly individually pre-packaged – with those in need.  She concurred that from her experience with the community, this gesture would be welcomed and not ridiculed.    NEED HELPWouldn’t you know that just a day later, a rep for Kind Snacks stopped by my work and dropped off a few boxes of granola bars.  So technically, I was supposed to share the swag with my co-workers, but those bitches eat enough fucking granola, so I stashed the snacks in my car with the intention of distributing them to those lonely median-dwellers.  KIND BARSI’ve given out a few bars to different folks and the snacks are met with delight.  Yesterday, I gave a bar to a girl standing in the cold by an exit off-ramp.  The next day, at the same exit, in the same bitter cold, was the same girl.  I held another bar out the window.  She walked up to the car and took it from my hand.  HOMELESS HELP APPRECIATED

She lit up, “Thank you!  Did you give me one of these yesterday?”  

“Yes” I smiled back.

She looked at the bar in her hand, “These are good!  I was so hungry yesterday and I’m so hungry now.  Thank you so much.”

“I’m so glad you like them.” I choked back through a broken heart.

With this small exchange came total confirmation, and then the light turned green.  BIEBER GIVES

 

i’m grateful…

PEANUTS THANKSGIVING…to spend the day with kind, welcoming, and gracious people.yoga sunset…even though I’m working today; it’s a blessing because I love my job. VEG…for access to abundant fresh foods to prepare and share.VEG TG…most of all for you!  Happy Thanksgiving! DCPOOH AND PIGLET

 

Archive or Give?

CLEAN THE CLOSETNot to be a one-note Nancy this week, but I’m cleaning out my closet for the fourth time this year and I’ve vowed to brutally cut the collection down to a reasonable amount this time.  In addition to the obvious (Have I worn it in the last year?  Do I even like it anymore?)  I have come up with criteria for sorting which helps make quick decisions about what stays and what goes. STAY OR GODoes it fit right now?  It makes no difference how ravishing a garment is if it doesn’t fit.  Pitch anything that sits in your closet and mocks you because you can’t squeeze into it.  When sorting, you must be prepared to try things on.  It is tedious, but it is the only way you know for sure and you might be pleasantly surprised.  TOO SMALLDoes it require repair and is the repair worth the investment?  Unless you love, love, love, the item, it’s a collectible, or super expensive, chances are you aren’t going to have that hem stitched, zipper replaced, or strap resown.  If the wounded clothing has been sitting there for 6 months or more sad, unworn, and broken, let it go. NOT THE SOLUTIONHave I only kept the item because I have an emotional attachment?  On a rare occasion, I will hang on to clothing just because of the way I feel when I look at it even if I know I will never wear it again.  I emphasize rare occasion, meaning 10 items or less of pure sentimentality.  Emotional resonance notwithstanding, it is a disservice when I don’t use something to its highest purpose.  I’d rather pass it on to someone who will.GUNNE SAXCan I envision how cute it would be on my friend?  If the answer is yes, I share.  It makes them happy and me happy too. NONE OF THIS SHIT IS CUTE BITCH

 

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: Graciousness

GRACIOUSLuckily lately, I’ve been on the receiving end of a number of kind gestures.  I’m seeing someone new (Hi Ty).  He opens EVERY door.  He doesn’t make a grand show of it, and he doesn’t just do it when other people are watching.  That said,  you should see the jealous looks of the lady onlookers and the shame-drenched expressions smeared across the faces of their discourteous mates when he gallantly walks out of his way to my side of the car and gently guides me inside. CAR DOORLast weekend in Chicago, The French Pastry School’s newest intern, my dear friend Michael, walked me back to my hotel late-night style even though it was out of his way.  Before you chalk it all up to unabashed pussy collecting, let me stop you there.  He’s gay, in a committed relationship, and could give a fuck about my puffed pastry.  He did it because he is kind and gracious.  If you are a certain kind of man, it’s just what you do. THE FRENCH PASTRY SCHOOL

Accepting an open door doesn’t mean you are a helpless waif who can’t open it yourself.  Nobody is asking you to give away your power.  Find the power in receiving. COAT ON THE PUDDLE

In the spirit of graciousness, let someone ease your burdens and seize opportunities to ease the burdens of others.  In a hate-filled and spiteful world, shock others with good old-fashioned courtesy. JACKET HELP

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: Tip the Maid

Like many of these Demeter Clarc Manners Moments, some of you will be like, “duh”, and some of you will claim you’ve never heard of the custom before.  Let’s talk about tipping housekeeping when you stay at a hotel.  We all know that for the most part, cleaning up after others is a boring, thankless, and often disgusting job.  Why not express gratitude for your housekeeper’s service with a tip?

There are different schools of thought on the best way to tip your housekeeper.  I like a daily tip rather than a lump sum offering at the end of the stay.  Tipping daily ensures that even if different folks clean my room, each will get a little thank you gratuity.  Also, a daily tip ensures no shortage of fresh towels and sample size toiletries, while encouraging staff to sniff the other way if clouds of cannabis start wafting from my room.So how much is right?  Well it is all up to what you feel comfortable with, but I would say certainly no less than $1-2 per day and no more than $5 a day, unless the service is nothing short of spectacular and then the sky is the limit.  Frankly, in this age of dismally mediocre service, exemplary conduct should be profusely rewarded.  What wouldn’t I tip to avoid an encounter with a dubious pube?  Don’t even start with the “I don’t have cash” bullshit.  It is your OBLIGATION to carry cash while traveling for this very purpose.  It is just as important as your ID and suitcase. 

For those cheap motherfuckers who never tip, I’m just going to say it straight up – you are showing your ass.  Not a good look.  Take care of your housekeeper and they will take care of you.  Mahalo bitches!

moving moments part one

Ya’ll knew it was coming, here are a few of my best packing and moving tips.  First things first, before you bring in a single box, clean your new place from top to bottom or pay someone else to clean it.  Please don’t move into another’s filth.  Sanitize the space and clear the energy.  Burn a sage bundle bitch.5)      Moving yourself?  Get a bigger truck than you think you will need.  Extra space is a luxury.  Pick too small a truck and find yourself stressfully sacrifice-sorting as you load cargo to the gills.  If renting a truck, spring for the insurance. 4)      Speaking of sorting, before you ever get to the truck, mercilessly cut from your collection.  Give your friends first dibs, and send the rest to charity.  At least the most useless 25% of your shit needs to go.  After giving friends a bunch of free stuff you won’t feel so bad asking them to help you help carry the sofa.  3)      Most major retailers give away boxes for free.  That’s no big secret.  So don’t skimp on purchasing accessories and packing supplies.  Paper, wrap, specialty boxes; get what you need to properly prepare your belongings to survive the journey.  The cost of proper packing supplies pales in comparison to the heartache of opening a box upon arrival and finding a fractured heirloom.  Get a variety of box sizes, and don’t pack them so heavy you can’t carry them up and down stairs.  Protect yourself with proper planning. 2)      Take care of valuables yourself.  Handle special or sentimental items personally or risk possible destruction.  No one will handle your most precious baubles as tenderly. 1)      Get plenty of sleep and take time to eat.  Once you arrive to your new home unpack as quickly and completely as possible.  Don’t stop working on your new home until everything has a special place.  If you just shove things in drawers and closets without care the place will remain an unorganized mess.  Arrange everything carefully from the start and maintain a tidy home with ease.