Tag Archives: Gossip

Bethenny’s Back at Bravo

BETHENNY AND ANDY COHENIn a last ditch effort to save the franchise, Bravo dug deep into their pockets to lure Bethenny Frankel back to the NYC Housewives next season.  Ugh.  Too little, too late, Bravo.  I have layered distaste for this desperate decision.  Yes, I do believe this stunt casting will temporarily spike the ratings, but after last season’s toilet ratings it would be hard to do worse.  Ramona’s implausible deniablility regarding the implosion of her marriage paired with that new basic blonde bitch made for a dud of a season.RAMONA

When it comes to Bethenny, what haven’t we seen her do?  We’ve watched her destroy friendships for fame, strike it rich, birth her daughter, exploit her marriage for ratings, divorce, and engage in a protracted nasty custody battle.  What do we have to look forward to?  Bethenny and her once-accused-rapist boyfriend walking hand and hand with little Bryn?  That should go over well.BETHENY MICHAEL BRYN

The main difference between the old Bethenny and new Bethenny is net worth.  Bethenny recounts that when she began with RHNY she was teetering towards broke.  Now she sitting on a pile of money looking down at everyone else.  This should create the most interesting shift in the dynamics among the women.  Filthy rich Bethenny has no reason to give a fuck about offending anyone.  I expect a deluge of snide criticism.  She doesn’t need the approval or allegiance of her castmates.  Her wealth keeps her good company.BETHENNY FRANKEL RICH

Rejoining an ensemble cast after a failed talkshow isn’t exactly a propulsive career move.  This is a woman who clearly wants her mug on the blogs whatever the cost to her dignity.  Apparently, it’s gotta be fame and fortune for Mizz Frankel.  It’s rumored one of the contingencies of Frankel agreeing to return was a no-Zarin clause which is unfortunate since Jill’s the only Housewife that could prove a worthy adversary to her former friend.

JILL ZARIN

 

An Unfortunate week for Joanna Krupa’s Pussy

SAD WEEK FOR KRUPA'S PUSSYIt’s only Wednesday, but already I’ve heard whoppers of rumors concerning Joanna Krupa’s crotch.  LISA JOANNA REUNIONOn part one of the Real Housewives of Miami reunion, Brazillian Bridezilla Adriana accused Joanna Krupa (washed-up commercial cheesecake model recently married to Euro-trash clubster lothario) of home-wrecking RHBH Yolanda Foster’s marriage to Mohamed Hadid (all vicious gossip transmitted vis–à–vis Brandi Glanville).  Since the revelation, Mohamed has denied, denied, denied, but I believe, believe, believe.  MOHAMED AND JOANNAOnly fueling the fire, Krupa taunted Brandi on Watch What Happens Live, so Brandi told everybody that she heard from mouthy Mohamed that Joanna has a stank pussy.  Interestingly, Mark Consuelos confirmed the rumor by saying you could tell her pussy smelled just by looking at her.  Smelly bitches have a look apparently.  Thank you Mark ConsuelosJOANNA KRUPA QUESTIONABLE CROTCHFinally, previews for next week’s reunion have angry bitches shouting that Joanna’s pussy’s for hire.  Well what is a past-her-prime Maxim girl to do?  They can’t all be Kate MossJOANNA KRUPA THUMBS UP

 

20 Questions on Bethenny

Here’s what I would want to know….BETHENNY TIX1) How did you get tickets?  It was pretty easy.  I just went online and requested a date.  I got it.  You don’t find out very far in advance – maybe two weeks, so if travel is involved understand it may be a last minute thing.OUTSIDE BETHENNY2) Was the Bethenny show well-organized?  Bethenny always says that business is all about the execution, so I was curious if her talk show would run like a well-0iled machine.  With regard to ticket reservations, I found the process easy and organized.  The day of the show we lined up in front outside at 8 am.  I would not recommend requesting tickets in the dead of winter for this reason.  Semi-enthusiastic (but definitely nice) PA’s wandered up and down the line confirming reservations and trying desperately to get folks to participate in the filming in some capacity.  We waited approximately thirty minutes or maybe longer before getting shuffled through a basic security screening.  In the hallway, was this lady…  BETHENNY HALLWAY LADYFrom there we were put in a holding room, signed waivers, watched a looped Bethenny production video, and met our fluffer.  The fluffer is the stand-up comedienne who must rally the crowd into a frenzy for Mizz Frankel.  An intense bathroom line formed.  Walkie-talkies were used to communicate the comings and goings of bathroom users.  After another hour or so in the holding pen, we were lined up by number and seated in the studio.  HOLDING PEN3) What was the studio like?  Like a Pottery Barn Teen catalog. BETHENNY STUDIOBETHENNY STUDIO 24) Were the security guards hot?  Yes. HOT SECURITYFLUFFER5) Tell me more about this fluffer?DANCE FLUFFThe fluffer was a cute female comic who’s name I totally forget – sorry.  She led a dance party.  Audience members got up and danced.  Some were good.  Most were not.  The best turns were those that involved humping various staff members.  T-shirts were given out.  Gaga was played.  We clapped.  We cheered.  We gave good enthusiasm.  Then it just drug on a little long because Bethenny was late and all of our collective excitement began to wane.  STAFF DANCE6) Anything interesting to steal?  Yes.  Thank you for asking.  I did steal something.  Before the show started, one page typed sheets of paper were dispersed among the audience.  BETHENNY ONE PAGEThis is a cut and paste from a PageSix story that ran that morning.  Bethenny claimed that 85% of the audience didn’t believe it was true.  BULLSHIT on that poll.  Who is going to tell her staff – “yeah, it’s all true.”  We all know that the contents of these stories are never entirely true or entirely false.  PAGE SIX NOV 5BETHENNY PAGE SIX READ7) How did the show kick-off?  Bethenny began with a pre-taped backstage moment where she reflects on the story mentioned above reading it line by line out loud saying “TRUE” or “FALSE” after each sentence.  PAGE SIX READ 28) What was your first impression of Bethenny?  When she finally bounced out I was relieved she didn’t spend the first minute awkwardly dancing and lip-synching to her own theme music.  She launched into her opening monologue.  I read the monitor.  It said, “take down phase.”  Bethenny views herself as some sort of pariah.  Everybody’s after her, dontcha know?  BETHENNY INTRO9)Was Bethenny skinny?  Yes, alarmingly so!  Her legs are pretty much the same circumference from her calves to her mid-thigh.  Her arms are super thin and the skin is saggy.  Her tits are waaay too big for her frame.

10) What did she wear?  She wore a very short, flared, animal-print skirt in keeping with that tulip silhouette she favors, very high YSL knock-off heels and a black sweater that was a little too big.  When sitting, her skirt bordered on too short.BETHENNY BODY11) Was she pretty in person?  Yes, Bethenny is striking in person.  Her bone structure is quite dominant.  She has a lovely complexion.  She had fake hair in, but her own hair looked good too.  Her face could benefit from five extra pounds on her frame.   BETHENNY PRETTY12) Who were the guests?  The LylasBruno Mars’ sisters in a girl group.  They have a new show on WE that I won’t be watching.  Food Network Star Big Daddy made pork chops in a food segment.  Finally, Char Margolis served up weird and uncomfortable psychic readings in the final two segments.  THE LYLAS13) What was the theme of the show? Mending relationships.  LYLAS BETHENNY14) Bruno Mars‘ sisters?  Yeah.  Bruno Mars‘ sisters.  One of these women has a 14 year old child!  Bethenny led them through a shallow, empty interview before turning on the audience for some cooked up “sister questions.”  SISTER QUESTIONS15) Were the cameras on you?  Yes.  Sometimes they would come veryclose.  I felt my face twitching.  I tried to sit up straight.  BETHENNY AUDIENCE QUESTIONS16) What was your impression of Bethenny? After ample reflection, it boils down to this: we met Bethenny on a reality show where she was a sarcastic, cynical, snarky bitch, and many of us loved her for it.  On the talk show, she’s serving us Katie-fucking-Couric and it’s totally disingenuous.  She is clearly not in a good place in her life.  She’s depleted.  Watching her trying to fake fun made me tired.  This talk show is not the right format or tone to display Bethenny’s talents. BETHENNY TALKS17) Could Big Daddy cook?  Big Daddy was super personable and it is easy to see why he won Next Food Network Star.  That said, the cooking segment was a bit of a shit show on her part and extra takes had to be completed for editing.  She chewed that one bite of pork chop for 2 minutes straight, as she kept saying how delicious it was.  It must have been tough as shoe leather. BIG DADDY

CHAR AND BETHENNY18) So what about the psychic Char Margolis?  I have mixed feelings on Char Margolis.  In the lineup outside, staffers solicited people who wanted to communicate with a departed loved-one.  That seems a little staged, no?  When she read Bethenny, Char used B for Bobby – which everybody knows is Bethenny’s father.  She also used the cliche “when you fall off the horse get back on” – it’s commonly known Bobby was in the horse business.   Char did come out the pocket with dead aunt Rose for a “confirmation,” so maybe there’s some merit to what she does.  My friend Lisa was very offended at Char’s handling of the in-vitro girl and I’m inclined to agree that the psychic was insensitive during the reading. INVITRO GIRL19) Any behind the scenes gossip?BETHENNY SMALL AND BLURRYBethenny fucked up alot and was hard on herself when she did make a mistake.  She looked sad, tired, and off.  She seemed genuinely rattled by her father’s presence.  We weren’t allowed to take pictures when Bethenny was in there.  These last few I took stealthy-style as she was on her way out (that’s why she is small and blurry).  My friend Wendy mentioned she was disappointed Bethenny didn’t stick around to sign books or grease any of her fans’ palms. BETHENNY EXIT20) Would you recommend the Bethenny experience?  I doubt very seriously that this rather amateurish production would get extended a second chance.  The beaten down staff acted like they were counting their days.  Go if you are curious about Bethenny and have four hours to kill in NYC.  If you have aspirations to be on TV, it wouldn’t be hard at all to get some face time on this show.  Trust me when I tell you they are obviously desperate to fill time. BYE BETHENNY

Today…..

NYC BANKSY RATI’m in NYC.JUMPI’m going to see…SHRILL BETHENNY…while I’m here. BETHENNY GOSSIPI will have lots of gossip for you in a day or two.  BETHENNY TALK SHOW

4 for Friday

YOGA TIMES SQUAREHappy Solstice!  Today we welcome summer.  I will complete 108 sun salutations to initiate in the new season.  The practice helps me shed old energy and embrace the future.  If my tan so far is any indication, this summer is going to be the best summer ever.  KIM AND KANYENo those bitches didn’t name that baby North West.  For fucksake. KIM AND KANYE MET BALL

PAULA DEEN LOVES BLACK PEOPLEIn this week’s non-bombshell news, is anyone actually surprised that Paula Deen is a racist?  OPRAH KNOWS ABOUT PAULA DEENFor today’s overreaching bossy advice I command you go outside and smile at a stranger.  Okay, fine, sneer if you want to, but go outside.  REESE BITCHFACE

3 for Friday

LUO AND NAOMIIs there anyone on Earth more sublime than Naomi CampbellLuo Zilin, who you surely remember from Naomi’s Top Model knock-off The Face, learned the hard way this week that you do not fuck with Miss Campbell.  After Luo was caught frolicking in Ibiza with Campbell’s ex Vlad Doronin, Naomi blacklisted that ungrateful bitch from the fashion world.  I wish Naomi Campbell offered an apprenticeship in bitchery.  I too would like to learn how to shank bitches at such an elite and international level.  LUO AND VLADGIRL CODE

Seen Girl CodeMTV has finally rolled out something worth watching.  Even though Girl Code is paced for the attention span of the modern twelve year old, many of the insights and practical advice transcend age.  The show is light, funny, occasionally informative, and provides an important platform for young female comics.  Jessimae Peluso will be a star.  JESSIMAE PELUSOVICKI AND GRETCHEN BAD WORKWatching the RHOC has become an exercise in the grotesque.  Need we even discuss Vicki’s face?  I guess I do.  Instead of the chin implant she should have had her double chin removed and her neck tightened.  Gretchen totally fucked up her once lovely face with those lip injections.  This show would be so much more interesting if Bravo dropped all these mutilated bitches and just focused on Lydia’s awesome fairy-dusting stoner mom Judy.JUDY DOOBIE

I Call Bullshit on The View

After all the chatter over the weekend, Barbara had no choice but to address the rumored departures on The View.  Right at the top of the show she delegated some schticky countdown to Joy before facing the camera head-on to tackle the speculation around ElisabethBarbara then emphatically stated, “We have no plans for Elisabeth to leave the show.”  Check out the ladies’ faces; they look a little nervous and shifty do they not?  Almost as if they are covering something up…Curiously, Barbara immediately followed the declaration by saying, “Having said that to all of you, Bill and I have always said that when one of you makes the choice to leave that’s your choice and we will support your decision.”  Reading between the lines, I deduce that Hasselbeck is leaving.  They are just going to make it sound like it was Elisabeth’s idea so as to not alienate their heartland audience.  I predict by the end of the season Elisabeth will make her own announcement of imminent departure.  She’ll say she wants to spend more time with the kids or has another project lined up, but we’ll know the truth behind her exit.  A move some are saying has more to do with Frank Langella being outed as the Chicken Pox vector than it does with her political beliefs, but I ain’t one to gossip so you didn’t hear it from me.  If you need more proof, just look at how that indicating bitch is clutching to Barbara for dear life.

Bye Bye Mizz American Pie

Have you heard the rumors?  Different outlets are reporting Elisabeth Hasselback’s chair has been pulled out from under her at The View.  Apparently, market research suggested that Elisabeth was too right-wing and extreme.  Let me clutch my pearls in disbelief. On the heels of Joy’s exit, the timing is interesting indeed.  Two hosts gone, who will replace them?  I vote one slot goes to Mario Cantone.  1) He’s got legacy with the show.  2) He’s very New York.  3) Grande Dame Walters seems to like him. 4) He’s funny.  Regardless of who replaces Elisabeth, it will be a major improvement.  I won’t miss her snapping her jaw across the table like a chained junkyard dog.  However, I do wonder if they are just ignoring the market research that suggests we are all really tired of Barbara.  To truly freshen the show, Walters needs to go.

Kenya Moore gets Wiki-Bombed

One of my favorite things in life is catching an unintended editing error – like an errant boom mic or funny typo.  So behold my delight when I skimmed Kenya Moore’s Wiki page last night and caught this unauthorized entry.  It’s not the most clever web burn, but congratulations Kenya!  A Wiki-bomb means you’ve officially arrived.