The long-awaited finale of Bethenny Ever After aired this week, long-awaited because we all couldn’t wait for this extra boring show to end. The bulk of the lazy-ass season finale was cobbled together from moments of Bethenny’s speaking tour.Bethenny spewed clichéd self-help advice repackaged Skinnygirl-style as the secret of her success. Let’s be honest. Bethenny’s success stems from her willingness to offer up her most sacred relationships, private decisions, and deepest losses to Bravo for commoditization. Personal exploitation has been the ladder upon which she climbed to the top, and it has been a lucrative ascent.Grandparents, Carol and Bob joined the tour for a night in Philadelphia. Neither understands Bethenny’s appeal, but both gave her warm congratulations after the show. Grandma Hoppy accidentally stumbled into some funny when she said, “There was only a cock here and there…”
Bethenny got the adrenaline shits before her Wilmington show and ran around the theater trying to empty her bowels moments before she was due on stage. She then danced her way down the aisle of the theater late-nineties Oprah-style.
All this filler delayed the only attention-worthy moment of the season – the sale of Skinnygirl. During her weekly sesh with Amador, Bethenny claimed to care less about the money now that she has her little family. She also conceded that since her own success now eclipsed her deceased father’s, “It makes me happy to stuff it to him.”While the specifics of the deal were not discussed on camera, when the email came, Jason said “You are going to be a very rich woman.” So I guess we can surmise that $120 million figure might be in the realm of truth.Now here’s what I want to know.
Is $120 million her cut, or is she divvying that up with Skinnygirl Canada?
Will she have Jason sign a post-nup or amend the pre-nup if one exists?
As contemplated last week, does this make her the richest Housewife?
Bethenny sobbed tears of joy at her unbelievable good fortune, and Jason could barely contain his glee at the luck of landing his own little jackpot.Jason returned later with their wedding album and the two oohed and aahhed over every page. Rejoice, everything is sublime in Hoppytown.So you guys heard this got renewed for another season, right? They better start looking for a new angle because who really wants to watch “Bethenny’s Perfect Life?”