Tag Archives: Gucci

Oscar 2014 gag/heave report

I’m gagging for…

KAREN OHate the bangs, but I enjoy the way this inky gown drapes your body Karen O. KATE HUDSONA capelet crusader, Kate Hudson in Versace Atelier. KEVIN SPACEY BURBERRYKevin Spacey in blueberry BurberryANNE HATHAWAY GUCCIHathaway defensively donned a Gucci breastplate.

i’m heaving for…

SANDY BULLOCK MCQUEEN

Wrinkled, boring, and confusing, someone explain Sandy B in this pageanty Alexander McQueen?

KELLY RIPA 2

If Orange Julius raped a praying mantis this Kelly Ripa moment would be the unholy outcome.

PORTIA DE ROSSI NAEEM KAHNSpeaking of praying mantis, Portia needs to lay off the botox for real. KELLAN LUTZ

This shitty suit doesn’t even fit.  Who let Lutz in?  Did he sneak in with a tray of hors d’oeuvres?

Global Disappointment

JLAW PHOTOBOMBThe Golden Globes fashion was so utterly weak sauce it isn’t worth the duplicative discussion to go ballsdeep in an indepth review.  Lesbihonest, it’s a particularly bleak year when a pregnant woman steals the fashion show.  No offense expectants.OLIVIA WILDE GUCCIEven though she looks like a sexy swamp creature, Olivia Wilde wore this Gucci with a great deal of confidence.  REESE WITHERSPOON CALVIN KLEINAlso slightly less ratchet than the other chickens was Reese Witherspoon in Calvin Klein.  Yes, it is a simple dress, but it fits and the color suits her.  My primary critique is that the head-to-toe look reads too summery for January.  Lastly, I can rarely despise anything about Cate Blanchett especially her incredible back displayed in Armani Prive. BLANCHETT

The worst dressed was pretty much everybody else.  Such Bad Choices.

WORST GG 2014 ROWI know everyone’s dick is hard for Lupita Nyong’o in the caped Ralph Lauren, but this dress is basically Gwyneth’s white Tom Ford number in red.  I’m over it Little Red Riding Hood.   LUPITA GLOBESBAD GG 2014 FASHIONMORE BAD GLOBES FASHION 2014

 

pre-fall 2014 / Gucci

GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 7GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 4GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 1GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 8GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 2GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 3GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 5GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 6GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014 9GUCCI PRE-FALL 2014

Memorable Fall 2013 Accessories

 

CHARLOTTE OLYMPIA FALL 2013 2Charlotte OlympiaBOTTEGA VENETA FALL 2013Bottega VenetaSTELLA MCCARTNEY FALL 2013 CLUTCHStella McCartney

GUCCI FALL 2013

Gucci

 

CHRISTIAN DIOR FALL 2013Christian DiorROGER VIVIER FALL 2013Roger Vivier

BRIAN ATWOOD FALL 2013 RTW

Brian Atwood

NICHOLAS KIRKWOOD FALL 2013

Nicholas Kirkwood

CHARLOTTE OLYMPIA FALL 2013

Charlotte Olympia

MARC JACOBS FALL 2013

Marc Jacobs

OSCAR DE LA RENTA FALL 2013

Oscar de la Renta

CHARLOTTE OLYMPIA FALL 2013 1

Charlotte Olympia

NICHOLAS KIRKWOOD FALL 2013 RAINBOW

Nicholas Kirkwood

 

 

 

 

 

Resort 2014 ~ Gucci

GUCCI RESORT 2014 DARIA STROKOUS 1GUCCI RESORT 2014 DIANA MOLDOVAN 2GUCCI RESORT 2014 DARIA STROKOUSGUCCI RESORT 2014 NADJA BENDERGUCCI RESORT 2014 DARIA STROKOUS 2GUCCI RESORT 2014 DIANA MOLDOVANGUCCI RESORT 2014 DARIA STROKOUS 3

Fall 2013 RTW: Shoe Shopping

Donna KaranDolce & GabbanaDerek LamChristian DiorAlexander McQueenGucciMichael Kors

OSCARS 2013: wake me when it’s over

I commence this year’s Oscar fashion criticism frenzy with Kelly Osbourne in Tony Ward Couture because this is the dress I stared at longest and ultimately found most controversially interesting among a thicket of bland and boring looks. Was Charlize exquisite in Dior Haute Couture?  I guess.  Is it memorable?  No.  Am I bored?  Very.  Is she serving a little Sharon Stone with that hair and smirk?  Yes. Aniston possesses a rare talent for making Valentino look like the Macy’s Prom Collection.  Stand up straight bitch. This tin-tittied mess is Anne Hathaway in Prada.  Nobody noticed the diamonds, that’s for sure. When I see Halle Berry in this Versace, I want to pronounce it VersayceI despise everything about Amanda Seyfried in this Alexander McQueen: the bridesmaid hair, the pageant pose, and the washed out non-color of the firefly patterned gown. Jessica Chastain has truly never looked better in impeccably-tailored spiderweb Armani.  I don’t love Melissa McCarthy in this ill-fitting David Meister, but I will always love Melissa McCarthyJennifer Lawrence lacks a style identity.  I suspect Dior hands her a dress and she obediently wears it. One of the best dressed of the evening, Octavia Spencer looks fantastic in this soft pink Tadashi Shoji.A wrinkled mess, Kerry Washington served some sorbet Miu Miu.  It’s too long, no?I don’t get dead-eyed Kristen Stewart in Reem Acra.  I know she makes some bitches swoon, but to me she is not everything.  Can she close her mouth?  What’s up with her constant open mouth?  It’s creepy.This Louis Vuitton just doesn’t fit Reese Witherspoon, and the fabric isn’t modern. Nicole Kidman wore L’Wren Scott and I think we can agree it was a decent choice for her.  It’s a little fussy for my personal taste, but she wears it well and looks luminous. Let’s finish with the couples: Naomi Watts wore Armani PrivéArmani far and away fit the best dresses of the night.  Ben & Jen, she in Gucci, but it doesn’t matter what she wears because nothing pops on this girl.

 

Golden Globes 2013:…and the Award Goes to…

Salma Hayek in Gucci for the Best Bluish Black.  She has a certain carefree sparkle only a billion dollars can buy.  Nicole Richie in Naeem Khan for best Palm Beach Housewife.  Is this bitch 74?  G-jus. Amanda Seyfried in Givenchy for most Unseasonably Springy.  I should hate this doily shit, but I don’t. Claire Danes in red Versace for best Post Baby Body Bounce-Back.  Doesn’t she look 10 years younger with those 15 extra pounds?Connie Britton wins Most Consistent in KaufmanFranco.Jessica Alba for most Irrelevantly Gorgeous.  Penalty for skinning a defenseless Muppet for that embarrassing bag. Amy Adams in Marchesa wins the prize for Most Likely to be Accidentally Confused with Taylor Swift.Halle Berry for Misdemeanor Midriff Exposure in VersaceSally Field for worst Granny Globes, gown by Alberta Ferretti.Kerry Washington for Most Overrated in Miu Miu.Anne Hathaway for Most Boring Chanel.Zosia Mamet for Best of the Girls.Lena Dunham for snatching Helen Mirren’s Zac Posen gown.Allison Williams for Most Forgettable Girl.Jessica Chastain in Calvin Klein Slightly Wrong from Head to Toe.Jennifer Lawrence for failure to learn from Jessica Biel’s Weird Dior-titty Mistake. Lucy Liu for Most Incongruent in Carolina Herrera.  What is this floral fuckmess?Hayden Panettiere wins Most Repetitious in Roberto Cavalli.  Jennifer Lopez for Most in Need of a Divorce from Zuhair Murad.Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta for Most Misguided Personal Style.…Naomi Watts for Best Zac Posen.…Nicole Kidman for Most Improved Hair.  This is a chicer length for her. …Rachel Weisz in Louis Vuitton for the Worst 3-Way Split.Giuliana Rancic in Celia Kritharioti for Most Felonious Showing by an Officer of the Fashion Police.

Pre-Fall 2013: GUCCI