Tag Archives: Halloween

The Seven Sisters

PLEIADESHappy Halloween!  We all know the well-worn candied cultural associations of our favorite day of spook, but what do you know about the underlying Astrological meaning?  At one point in time, Halloween was the midpoint between the Equinox and the Solstice known as a cross-quarter day (this midpoint has shifted to later in November as the universe has matured).   Tradition holds that at midnight, halfway between dusk and dawn, the cluster of the Pleiades culminates in its highest and most visible place in the sky.  During this time the stars known as the Seven Sisters shine especially brightly.  With the veils between the living and dead whisper thin, Pleiades acts as a star gate which allows the souls of the recently departed to pass through to the beyond.  SEVEN SISTERS


Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: The Noid


Okay, so the Halloween Party last night was super fun.  Good Group.  Except for one.  You know the one.  That one motherfucker nobody likes: the Noid. THE NOIDHe would splooge into the circle, and I would politely duck elsewhere.  Illiterate to basic social cues, when this dude approaches, people look around nervously.  He’s a loud, rude, narcissistic, interrupting attention hog.  He eyefucks the women and cock compares men.  He’s that guy.HATE THAT GUY

And my friend is dating him.  Uhggg.TEEN MOM 3

When I was younger and more naive, I would have tried to fervently convince her that this dude was at best annoying and at worst predatory, but now I’m wise enough to know that it would do no good.  I’ve learned you just have to put up with the obnoxious people your friends date and hope none marries the Noid.


No matter how gross, unfaithful, violent, offensive, or irritating your friend’s fucktoy is, you just have to put up with him until they get tired of fornicating.  Once the delusion of lust wears off, hopefully your smart friend will see this asshole for who he is – an embarrassing douche.


In addition to getting bossy with my friend, the younger, dumber me would have allowed aforementioned asshole to drag me into his asshole Olympics during which I would have felt compelled to win the gold medal in assholery.  The older and tireder me has no extra energy for such fuckery.  A confrontation would have fueled his attention-suck and ruined my fun time.  So when he appeared, I disappeared.  Nothing needles an attention whore like non-reaction.



Five More Last Minute Halloween Costumes

Rachel ZoeRachel Zoe Shops For Toys In Beverly Hills

Bell Bottoms + sky-high platforms + every accessory you own at once + Starbucks + a lobotomy


Gwyneth Paltrow

GWYNETH PALTROWYour most expensive white dress + a flat iron + an air of superiority. GWYNETH BOOK SIGNINGLeo DiCaprio

Cargo shorts + smugness + electronic cigarette + twenty extra pounds + Victoria’s Secret catalog + hangers-on

Leonardo Di Caprio joing sonny day Miami Pictured: leonardo de caprio Ref: SPL484557  220113   Picture by: Splash News Splash News and Pictures Los Angeles:	310-821-2666 New York:	212-619-2666 London:	870-934-2666 photodesk@splashnews.com

Simon Cowell


A deep V + alert nipples + self-tanner + a complete lack of moral compassSIMON COWELL



 Red and white striped hat + striped shirt + jeans + glasses

Spider Cider

SPIDER CIDERWith the Halloween Party this weekend, I’ve decided to pull out an old crowd-pleaser of a warm cocktail ~ Spider Cider!

BIG POTTake one big pot.  Place over burner on warm heat.APPLE CIDERPour in 1 gallon high-quality apple cider or apple juice.


Add generous amounts of allspice, cinnamon, cloves, and optional orange peel.  Don’t be shy with the flavor!  Most people under-spice.


Allow the aroma to fill the house.  When the brew is sufficiently mulled, generously ladle it into mugs with a shot of top-shelf rum and serve with a cinnamon stick.  You’ll know it’s ready when the guests begin to gather around for a tipple.

RUMThis simple spiked & spiced beverage warms you like a gentle boozy hug, but I call it Spider Cider because it can creep up and bite you in the ass.  Enjoy.SPICED CIDER TRAY

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: acceptable invitations

HALLOWEEN PARTY INVITESI’m co-hosting a Halloween party this year and I’ve begun to disseminate invites.  Some people I encourage in person, a few I email, some I text, but regardless of how I contact them I can clearly picture the bitchface each of them makes when they learn a costume is required.  And I’ve got a bitchface for them in return.  Once a God Damn year, that’s it, just suck it up and wear a costume.  Flex your atrophied creativity muscles and dig deep into the reaches of your overstuffed closet.  Don’t tell me there isn’t something you can throw together to wear.  I resent inviting people to shit and they act like it is such a chore.  Lately, my generous invitations have been returned with an ungrateful side order of “here’s how you can accommodate me” from the guest.  Come or don’t, but don’t act like this party is a celebration of you.  An invitation should be received with a “thank you for inviting me, I look forward to it” or “thank you for inviting me, I have a conflict.”  No further extrapolation needed.  And don’t forget our Leah Love wants an RSVP bitches!HALLOWEEN MAKE UP

October 2013 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday Dear Libra!  This month, dynamic energy triggers instability.  The friction emerges first at work, and then it insidiously seeps into your primary relationship. The New Moon on the 4th delivers a great deal of upset.  A willingness to accommodate unforeseen demands and disappointments meaningfully aids your journey through a very unpredictable October.  I’m sure this advice gets old month after month, but really listen: make yourself happy.  Good luck making anyone else happy this month.  Get rid of what you don’t need physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Love-seekers receive reassuring attention and admiration.  Take your pick.  Committed Libras deepen the connection with your partner on the 12th.  Your theme for this coming year is strength.  Cultivate power in every corner of your life.


Scorpio clings to anger like a baby blanket and takes comfort in rage like a lullaby.  The New Moon’s October 4th arrival isn’t exactly going to help you resolve your miserability since the energy is in direct opposition to your ruling plant.  Expect to get blamed for shit at work this month unless you are extra obnoxiously specific with your directions.  Multiplying the likelihood of chaos, Mercury moving in retrograde clouds your usually laser-sharp judgment.  October isn’t all bad, Scorpio.  Look forward to reaching resolve on a long-lingering relationship thorn this month.  Mischief-lover that you are, get ready for two distinctly sexual interludes – one taking place on Halloween night.  Furthermore and randomly, October is a favorable time to adopt a pet.



Because you are desperately in need of a new look and you have been working so hard, the universe has granted you permission to splurge.  Will it be new hair?  A face treatment?  A wardrobe investment?  Go big and drastic.  Others will see you in a new way after the change – as bolder and more capable.  A New Moon enters the scene the first week of the month and makes it impossible to ignore those underlying problems you’ve been trying to deny for months.  Sags have a way of frosting even the bleakest realities with a cloying sugar coating.  Anticipate a midmonth relationship reckoning.  Typically extroverted, spend October in the pocket watching, learning, absorbing, and thinking.  Single Sags should stay that way until Mercury moves out of retrograde, but feel free to enjoy the attention your new style garners.


Pack your bags Capricorn because travel is a major theme for you this October.  It’s a good thing too, because there will be a number of difficult situations from which you want to flee.  Domestic drama in particular has you frustrated.  You aren’t that easy to live with, so relax the knit-picking and passive aggressive behaviors.  Shelve major decisions until your judgment is clearer.  No need to rush or persist this October.  There are upsides to waiting out this energetic vortex.  Why not go balls-to-wall ridiculous with your costume this Halloween?  Your wit, creativity, and industry are bound to produce a crowd-pleasing disguise.


Apologies Aquarius, October begins with a bitchslap.  Opposing forces mean bad news surrounding a relationship.  Your partner may victimize or suffer as a victim.  Either way, expect a serious shift in your priorities when it comes to this person.  Use the term “partner” broadly here to encompass a number of meaningful associations in your life.  When faced with other’s wrong-doing obsessively seek out every morsel of information until you are convinced you know everything.  False accusations kill relationships.  Delay any major commitments in October even though Aquarius is awash in impatience.  Devise a strategy comprised of a number of small achievable steps.


Pisces feel extra fragile this October and there are a number of responses you could take to this vulnerability.  I don’t recommend hostility.  Respond with kindness and an intention towards compromise and everything will be much easier.  Financial anxiety only adds to your fear.  Keep your pocketbook zipped.  You’ll need a cushion of money this month.  Consider broadening your career options by tapping into your rich collection of contacts and resources.  Pisces positively glows with the good favor of others beginning the second week of October.  Dial back the risk after the 18th.  Energetically, you are set up for a super fun Halloween, so put your creativity to constructive use.


Aries can’t keep quiet anymore.  Whatever you need to express, you will have the strength to deliver the message clearly.  Can you deny the serious cracks in the foundation?  Will you take the time to repair or trade up?  Remember Aries, those cracks are a result of you stomping around, so unless you mellow you’ll just break everything.  Detach emotionally from the outcome, and the solution will form like granite.  It takes all damn month, but Aries finally wraps up a major deal by the 31st which has you relieved and up for employee of the month.  Just because the project is complete doesn’t mean the pace will relax.  Without missing a beat prepare to go again and even bigger.


Taurus feels uncharacteristically rebellious this October.  If you have the option to ease up on work responsibilities or take a personal day, this would be the time. You’ll get in trouble at work when you’re this dipped in spunkiness.  Play now if you can because next month work demands triple.  Revelations of the machinations of others surface and the selfish tone of the maneuvers leave you disappointed.  Trust that you will be shielded from the ugliness.  Taurus, remember you don’t have to tell everyone everything especially early in relationships.  You are freaking people out with your over-intimacy.  Dial it way back.


Now that fall has set in, so have certain realizations concerning your past mistakes.  The frivolity of summer with all its social exchange made it super easy to dodge responsibility, but all those slimy, icky, guilty feelings have come back with vengeance.  You can no longer ignore the pervasive thoughts centered on a most important relationship.  Trying to dismiss what is evident has frayed your nerves and left you spent.  Realizations aside, hold back on any confrontations or declarations.  October is a better time for planning.  November is a better time for action.  Do take time with unmanaged domestic maintenance matters before they become expensive problems.  This Halloween, instead of agreeing to drive everyone’s drunk asses around and then resenting it, why not go home and give out candy with your parents?  Wear a ridiculous costume and scare the children.


Cancer’s theme this month is consistency in the face of adversity.  If you draw a line in the sand, honor it.  Respecting boundaries has never really been your strength, but this October it is more important than ever to stand your ground and make others move the mountain to meet you.  Incoming information the first week of the month shifts your perspective on a number of matters.  This time you cannot justify or excuse bad behavior.  Already confused, the damning intel won’t help clarify the situation.  Hide out until you know for sure.  The 12th presents a lovely opportunity for a domestic spruce.  Tackling a few home improvement projects will help assuage those anxious feelings of impatience.  Cancer can relax in knowing that work will remain relatively pleasant and calm this October.


Consider consciously backing off spending in October even though there’s a palpable temptation to go butt-crazy buying.  Your purchasing choices will not be well-reasoned this month.  October demands an intense operational tempo, but for all the work you put in you’ll see very little immediate return on your hustle.  A double whammy of energetic blockages has you feeling impotent and ineffectual.  Know that it isn’t entirely your fault and your fortune will change.  Listen to the wise counsel of others and take their advice. Your best day for love and surprises is the 16th.


Is there anything sexier than action?  Nope.  This month you are all do, do, do, and it is a refreshing blast of productivity compared to everyone’s slack.  Forging ahead in the midst of turbulence and resistance wears you out, so practice self-care Virgo.  Maintain a reasonable workout routine.  Continue to fill your savings account and invest wisely.  Strengthen your familial ties.  Stay far away from contracting and commitments as there is someone trying to intentionally deceive you.  Set aside major business dealings until the end of next month.  If you can escape on a trip with a friend, you must make it a priority to do so.  Virgo’s consistent hard work over the past year gives you a pass to relax for a few days.

strong start

FALL UNIFORMToday starts a new week, and within it we welcome October, one of the best months of the year.  I love crisp October because the sun still shines, but the weather warrants an extra layer.  Is there anything better than autumnal attire?  To that end, go to your closet, rotate the summery non-transitional garb to the back and pull forth all those glorious sweaters, moto jackets, and skinny jeans.  Break out your boots girl.  Assemble 5 killer ensembles to don this week.  Find a fresh way to rework what you already love before you get caught in a buying frenzy.  Donate what you won’t wear this winter or ever again.MOTHER LOOKER

If you are feeling Sunday sluggish, set the kitchen timer for an amount of time you can stomach and organize your living space.  Sort the mail, pay the bills, dump the recycling, clean out the fridge.  Take care of the chore that subconsciously nags you to distraction.BELLE RINGER

Start thinking of your Halloween costume because we’re having a party.


Contemplate darker hair.

KK BLONDEAfter completing all of our preparations for the week, we can sit down in good conscience and enjoy the Homeland season 3 premiere without any looming Monday morning anxiety.  Mini-spoiler: I heard Brody doesn’t even appear in the first two episodes.  HOMELAND SEASON 3

p.s. Did Claire get a peel or is this just airbrushing?  She looks very dewy.

happy halloween harlots

October 2012 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday dear Libra!  How we love your pretty face and even temper.  You add grace and elegance to the scene and are usually a welcome addition to any gathering.  Not one for upfront drama, Libras prefer to navigate behind backs.  Libras can be gossipy, but typically aren’t cutting and mean.  You aren’t great about keeping your word and should work on strengthening your reliability muscles.  October brings much in the way of blessings to lucky Libra.  Professionally, some Libras are on the hunt.  A little innocent flirting may just land the job.  The employed Libra begins to feel comfortable which leads to more contribution on your part.  Your ideas land and are appreciated.  Don your best apparel for festivities, some of which will be celebrating well-liked Libras.  Take care in accessorizing.  Key pieces end up useful conversation starters.


Scorpio enjoys October: the crisp air, the leaves, the end of the year, saying goodbye.  Scorpio can get nostalgic and stuck in unhealthy patterns.  Use the last three months of the year to permanently change what you have been putting off all year.  Most Scorpios are addicted to something.  Gain control over indulgence.  Focus on more productive activities like tidying up your home before winter.  Start putting together your costume ideas early because the Halloween party invitations begin to arrive in the next couple weeks.  Take the month to get your body together and then kill all them bitches with your major look at the party.


All that hustle of previous months finally pays off in October when Sags find their calendar crammed with commitments.  Going from one extreme to another creates much stress.  How will you deal with the added pressure?  When your anxiety takes hold you can be really difficult to cope with, so do everyone a favor and plan your life with some cushion.  Don’t overextend.  Prioritize around convenience.  Think about others too, as Sags can be notoriously narcissistic and shallow.  Enjoy a few sweet treats, but don’t overdo the candy intake towards the end of the month.  Eat simply, seasonally, and locally to feel your best and avoid the fall colds going around.


Capricorn experiences a crisis of conscience in October that results in manic and unpredictable behavior.  Poor impulse control and a mean self-destructive streak lure you into risky behavior like DUIs, random sex, and gambling.  If you hitch a ride on this downward spiral expect to spend the rest of the year cleaning up a hell of a mess.  Those Caps wise enough to head off erratic actions will demonstrate a new level of self-mastery.  What about love Capricorn?  Will it ever be time for love?  A person can’t live on work, friends, and family forever.  Consider what you want in a relationship and pursue a suitable mate as you would any one of your other life aspirations.


Broad thinking Aquarius always has an answer for everything.  Smart, practical, and playing the long game, more impulsive signs envy the cool detachment Aquarius displays.  Spend some time strengthening key relationships in October.  Rather than spreading your energy thin, focus on a few important people and flood them with attention.  Parties pop up at the end of the month which gives you a good excuse to try on a new identity for the night.  Wear a mask and maintain a mysterious air.  Listen.  You’ll be surprised what you overhear when your identity is unknown.  The information will be valuable.


Riding a merry-go-round of good feelings over the past several weeks, Pisces find that all the loose ends left undone lately cause chaos in October.  Pisces scramble to catch up and for the most part succeed.  The hustle has left you a little resentful though. Those little rituals you love, remember they are important too for keeping Pisces grounded.  However, a new routine for a new season will benefit Pisces.  Make fitness a priority.  Take time alone.  Eat as clean and simply as possible now as there will be a lot of obligation eating later in the season.  Definitely dance often, big, and crazy.


Vibrant Aries light up a room with vivacious energy, but often feel like subtle nuances of their personality get overlooked.  Don’t worry, we notice the details Aries and one of the most important details about you is that you’re a fantastic friend.  For the most part you make an excellent partner, except when you get self-righteous about not feeling appreciated, and then your eye begins to wander.  Aries tend to require a lot of external validation, but I’m sure you’ve evolved past needing the approval of others.  The more important question is whether you approve of yourself right now?


October serves up a new round of frustration with your central relationship Taurus.  While your mate means well and really tries, you just aren’t sure of whether this person can fully deliver on all your needs – which by the way are significant.  Taurus definitely perceives herself as low-maintenance, when in fact Bulls can be one of the most difficult signs to deal with and satisfy.  High standards are great, but realistically accept how demanding you truly are.  A fierce and loyal lover, Bulls make their companions feel safe and protected…until they start nit-picking and tearing their paramour apart.  Learn the difference between kindness and weakness.  Not every warm gesture has to sacrifice your pride.


Gemini suffer under the weight of tremendous responsibility, both professionally and personally in October.  Most of this burden is self-imposed, but that won’t stop you from complaining about it.  Your work ethic is impressive, and it explains why most of the Twins have hung on to their jobs during recent economic challenges.  Those of you prowling for employment have an edge over most, and that edge is your big-ass brain.  Even though you are super smart, Gemini acts spacey and often isn’t present in the moment.  Give folks the honor of your full attention.  Concentrate, listen, and see how your connections benefit and grow as a result.


Cancers have worked hard over the last several months to get their shit together and for the foreseeable future things look relatively stable.  Good for you!  Now what are you going to do to fuck it up?  I’m only half-kidding as you are a famous self-saboteur.  Focus on executing your responsibilities thoroughly, completely, and with a high degree of quality.  Cancers get dreamy and distracted when work becomes demanding.  You can get away with a little fantasizing, but keep at least one toe grounded in reality or find yourself embarrassed and confused when you are caught sniffing the roses on the clock.


Big proud Leo gathers new friends and acquaintances together in October for fun fall socializing.  Your warm demeanor entices other to join you in merriment this month and as a result lasting connections are made.  Pat yourself on the back for uniting folks Leo.  Building community isn’t easy.  You contribute significantly to the happiness of those lucky enough to share your company.  Platonic demands distract you from romance, but you will enjoy a cute flirtation.  So often a zingy flirt can be as satisfying as a good fuck.  Sneak in rest in October’s calmer moments Leo, so you’ll look your best when it really counts.


Ready for a slower pace in October Virgo?  You are worn out and need to recoup from a long run of demands on your time and energy.  October will force you to slow down one way or another.  May I gently suggest you go voluntarily rather than kicking and screaming?  This month devote your energy to a few key events.  Delegate daily tasks to eager beavers looking for more responsibility.  This will free up your time to concentrate on more important matters.  Virgo, make breathing room in your life for what you really want so it can flourish and grow.  Take a walk in the leaves.