Tag Archives: HBO

damn disconnect

TV LIESSo a few months ago, I kicked cable out of my life in the optimistic quest to provide all my entertainment needs through my computer and Roku.  At first, I felt liberated.  Fuck you Comcast.  You suck so much.  Then I started to feel disconnected.  Yes, you can watch a lot of crap on Hulu, but none of it is FRESH, FRESH, FRESH.  It is at least day-old bread, Hulu’s original programming notwithstanding (add heaping ladle of sarcasm gravy to that biscuit).  It was definitely disorienting to not be able to just flip the remote and experience live TV.  It made me anxious to think that in the face of an emergency I couldn’t find comfort in my local news (which I never watch).  And I really hated not being able to DVR and fast forward through ads.  Furthermore, tracking down my favorite shows became a part-time job and often the quality was less than stellar on those YouTube streams.  Cutting the cable also meant my computer was needed for streaming which means this site suffered because I can’t stream and post at the same time, ya’ll.  I apparently need to be bombarded with stimuli from my television and computer to find true happiness.  Last week, I walked back into the devil’s house to see what kind of contract he could offer me on my soul.  Of course those bastards have some crazy deal where they force you buy a phone line you don’t want, with a modem you don’t need, for one price for one year, and escalating price the second, complete with early termination fees, and a claim to my first born.  Trying to outfox the Comcast crooks, I asked for à la carte pricing, which amounted to about $80 more a month than their satanic triple play contract.  So I guess it’s back to 2 years of indentured cable servitude.COMCASTI’m deeply ambivalent.  When I returned home with my shiny new DVR and immediately accessed Bravo, E!, and HBO with ease, it was the technological equivalent of a warm hug.  Then I caught a glance at the redundant modem they forced on me, and I felt a wave of disgust for the vile and predatory corporation I’m supporting.  It’s like a bad marriage: can’t live with it, can’t live without it.COMCAST BE MINE

GIRLS pearls

GIRLS SURPRISE KINDA OF STILL SUCKSThe highlights of the double Girls premiere didn’t involve any of the actual GirlsNATALIA GIRLS S3

You’re not going to get any milk out of those tits.” GIRLS SEASON 3 MILK(*honorable mention for Ray’s Indiana shirt.)


Hannah’s peak posture was wood clogs wedgie.  I used to find her whiny neurosis endearing; less so now.

tonight is for GIRLS


Getting On

GETTING ONI have a new favorite program called Getting On.  I don’t want to tell you what the show is about because you probably won’t watch it if I do.  This show is so deliciously dark I suspect most people won’t get it and it will get cancelled.  A trifecta of stellar odd-ball actors comprised of Alex Borstein, Niecy Nash, and an always sublime Laurie Metcalf anchor this British reboot.  You will be moved and amused by the first episode and it is entirely focused on mystery feces.  Confused?  Curious?  Get on Getting On (on HBO).  BORSTEIN AND METCALF GETTING ON

Sunday with Girls

Girls returns tonight.Can it possibly live up to the expectation?I’ve OD’d on hyperbolic praise all week.And we all know 2nd seasons tend to suck. I want to believe this time it can be different. Don’t let me down Girls.

Buyers’ Remorse: skinny jeans

Look, I don’t have any official numbers or anything, but my hunch is that these super skinny jeans just aren’t selling.  When I pass by my local high-end retailers, I see the same display, stacked deep with skinny, left untouched.  When we are fatter than ever, why are the jeans getting smaller and smaller?For those of you with the genetic gifts to pull this look off, well God Bless You.  For the other 98% of the population, the super skinny silhouette is a cruel joke.  Like when Ray tells Hannah not to come back without a slim leg.  We were all thinking, hunny you do not want to put Hannah in a slim leg.  That’s just mean.I blame the group-think buyers for the proliferation of skinny jeans.  The bitches at Neiman Marcus and Saks need to recognize Mama June is America’s new treasure.  A mass conversion to skinny jeans just isn’t going to happen. 

One Nation Under Dog

You guys seen this challenging yet interesting documentary One Nation Under Dog on HBO yet?  The film takes a layered look at humankind’s relationship with canines for better and worse.  I don’t have pets for a variety of reasons: most are messy, they make it difficult to travel, and truthfully I think it is a little desperate and insecure to bribe an animal with food and shelter in exchange for unconditional love.  On the flip side, I had one close friend who said my lack of pet ownership growing up counts among my greatest character defects.  I had a horse, so he can fuck off.  Anyway, One Nation Under Dog only reinforces my belief that pet ownership is often more selfish than selfless. While memorable and heartbreaking (prepare for dead puppies), the documentary leaves room for you to form your own impression and opinion.  Whether you love dogs or hate them, don’t miss this exceptional movie. 

Three for Thursday + The Conversation

First, congratulations to Giuliana and Bill, who predictably selected the gestational carrier option in their quest for offspring that shares their genetic material.  Will they include the child in next season of their reality show?  I predict the calculated couple film the whole entire birth, hand-off, and reception.  Just a hunch.  Second, Tyra fired Nigel, Miss J and Mr. Jay!  That’s everybody.  I don’t even watch ANTM anymore, but really what is Top Model without those three? Third, you’re watching Girls right?  I enjoyed Tiny Furniture, and after two episodes of Girls, I think I’m enjoying it too.  I’m cautiously optimistic for the painfully self-aware HBO series.Gonna tune in tonight to watch The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet?  (Ever seen Fall?  1997 cult classic.  Look into it.  Fun fromage.)  Gwyneth is on the premiere.  The Conversation will be annoyingly pretentious and therefore unmissable.

April 2012 Horoscope


Happy Birthday Aries!  Powerful influences from Mars, Mercury and Jupiter manifest positive tangible results for all of your hard work during the first quarter of the year.  The stars clear the way for big money and major recognition.  If you are struggling in the red, get ready for your personal Black Friday, one that may exceed your wildest expectations.  While cash might be flowing, interpersonal relationships suffer strain this month.  Prepare for blame, criticism and harsh words.  Opponents instigate battles with sharp barbs.  Truthfully, most Aries won’t have the kind of self- control required to refuse the bait of these ugly interactions.  You are not well-suited to revenge.  If you attempt to go that route, you’ll end up ruining your reputation and looking really gross.  Sever the antagonistic relationship and don’t dwell.  Ultimately, navigate April with confidence; surround yourself with positivity and those who respect your ample talents.


Taurus contemplates a career change this month, perhaps one you never considered before.  You feel disillusionment with the career choices you’ve made in the past and want to try find a more spiritually satisfying path.  Financial stability is always on the forefront for Taurus, so don’t assume a job change necessarily = a pay cut.  Begin your exploration by gathering with like-minded individuals, and then get your sox rocked when you stumble upon an authentic romantic connection.  Relax with the constant cynicism; others won’t find it so charming misplaced among the optimism of spring.  Put that energy into making yourself and others comfortable.  Stay away from sleeping pills and other downers.


To move forward, Gemini needs to set aside specific time for working goals and thinking quietly alone.  A steady meditation practice will ground you and help alleviate stress.  Avoid self-sabotaging, self-mutilating, and self-critical behavior.  Leave the shit-talking to the gossips – who will be all over you this month with their petty pitchforks.  When an opportunity arises to clear your name – take it.  An increasing level of consciousness begins to subtly shift all your relationships.  Now is the time to live according to your deepest desires.  Pay close attention to how you feed your body.  Curb consumption and waste.  Disregard the skepticism of others; you are absolutely on the right path.


This April life deals you a series of events that requires efficiency, organization, and pragmatism.  Cancers find themselves exhausted this month because of an overload of work and family responsibilities.  Your moody nature gets the best of you.  Superiors and co-workers alike annoy you quite a bit this month.  Bite your tongue; the job market ain’t great.  To combat a short fuse, get enough sleep, take your vitamins and exercise to clear the nervous tension.  Watch what you put in your pie hole.  Fail to heed this advice and face major digestive issues which will create a great deal of embarrassment and inconvenience.  Unresolved conflict from March haunts you in April.  Set boundaries and enforce them.


Leos struggled in March, but April brings brighter days.  Those wallowing in heartbreak will receive encouraging news about a loved one.  Domestically, your relationship coasts along peacefully this spring.  Single Lions keep your eyes peeled for prospects on the 7th and 8th of this month.  All Leos enjoy a hot day on the 10th.  The change in weather inspires you to clean up your messy corners.  Once the space is clean, Leos get inspired to invest in upgraded design features.  This month, embrace optimism, ignore haters, and free yourself from negative self-talk.  Attend yoga religiously.


April is all work, no play, Virgo.  You are well aware of this heap of chores piled in front of you.  There are no short-cuts, you’ll just have to take it one task at a time until you finally get to the bottom and remember the color of your desk.  Prepare to stay late and work weekends to meet deadlines.  Don’t expect a bonus or a raise for all of the extra work, but do consider the effort part of ensuring job security.  Higher-ups won’t forget your selflessness and all this work is going to pay off later in the year as a promotion or wonderful new job.  To relax, enjoy spending time with animals.  Stay strong and patient this April; 2012 will get better and easier.


Libras get super nostalgic this month, believing there was a time when things were better.  Whether they were or weren’t rosier, you can’t relive the past, so enjoy a dip in the memory pond and try not to get too melancholy.  Go through old boxes of toys and photos, watch movies from your childhood, and eat foods your Mom made.  Look up some old friends and book a ticket if you must, just don’t expect everything to feel as you remember it once did.  Our minds have a way of sweetening memories for our own protection.  In keeping with this theme, aesthetically Libras focus on antiques and vintage.  Deal with people in a formal and polite manner. Consider not answering your phone beyond a certain hour of the night.  Use April to make or break your relationship.  Pondering divorce?  File.


Scorpios get serious in April, money moves forefront and now is the time to decide how you will invest in your future.  Once you choose, you will begin to pursue your goals with ruthless ambition.  It’s about time.  Direct power effectively, and continue to learn and study.  To get connected to the appropriate circles, you’ll have to abandon your party of one mentality and attend social events and dinner parties.  The effort will be returned in useful contacts.  Doors will swing open for you and your job opportunities will multiply.  Scorpios regain power this month.  You are sick of all the bitching and moaning and distance yourself from whiners.  Have you finally realized you can and should enjoy yourself?


That luck Sags have come to rely on runs out this April and you are tested by a string of unfortunate events.  For example, if you’ve been slacking at work, it will catch up with you this month.  Expect an audit or performance review.  Get your shit together, and don’t assume you can wing it.  Furthermore, your judgment is particularly skewed by emotions now.  Financial extravagance of months past also comes back to haunt you in April.  Many of you will need to tighten your belt to make it through the month.  Techy Sags find themselves in the midst of an overhaul of antiquated systems.  Frustration is a major player.


Capricorn’s key word is ambition this April.  In your head you fantasize and strategize on how to make millions and rise to the best of your potential.  Methods of self-improvement will be of great interest.  Thank Mars for a little extra stamina this month; put the added boost towards a sweaty workout.  Use your organizational skills to bring important projects into fruition.  Caps love to be the boss, and your team will rely on you to make them look good.  Obtaining meaningful results on this job will reap public recognition or a big financial reward in the near future.


Aquarius suffers a drama-filled personal life in April.  While you aren’t directly the source of the turmoil, some one near and dear will start acting out in a way that is very self-destructive and you’ll make it your business to intercede.  This person constantly criticizes and undermines your self-esteem with negative comments.  Aquarius is relieved to learn the constant shit-talking is the result of an addiction, mental illness, or physical illness.  You will feel less supported by those you’ve come to rely on at work.  Jealousy and gossip sway public opinion.  Confront the murmurs head-on by asking what folks are saying about you.  Even though professionally Aquarians are on the rise, many feel like telling their boss to suck their collective balls this month.  Even though the job market is shit, you’ll be fine if you quit.


Smarty Pisces get so lofty this April that they start to lose their audience.  Simplify the delivery and remain patient.  Don’t force your ideas.  When the time is right people will understand.  Your visionary genius comes in handy in working on an important project all month.  Pisces‘ myopic focus alienates loved ones.  Even though you’re sleepwalking through much of April, carve out some time for your closest people.  Resolve any unpaid debts.  Single Pisces make a platonic connection that ripens into romance in the coming year.  Attached Pisces jump double-dutch trying to keep their mates happy.  Try not to fuck it up.  Gifts are not the answer.