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You haven’t fucked in months.He abandons you.She criticizes more than kisses.Your futures don’t include each other.You would rather be alone.
Earlier this week Tami Roman had a heart attack. The press described it as “mild,” which means it didn’t kill her. She’s currently recuperating. Tami is 41. Feel better mama. We need you. We’ve loved you since The Real World. No más drinking and no más smoking. Try yoga instead of lipo.
Put that Kanye record down; it is time for some fresh music. Adele’s new album 21 drops in the U.S. on the 22nd, and it is fantastic. Adele serves her unapologetically powerful voice while nimbly tiptoeing through her range. Her sound is as nurturing as a warm blanket on a winter’s day.The first single, a deliciously bluesy stomper Rolling in the Deep, might have already made it to you – a little bit Supremes, a little bit Heart, a little bit KT Tunstall. Paired with Rumours, the strong tracks kick-start a thoroughly enjoyable collection.The piano on Turning Tables nestles into that tender place that will have you hitting repeat. My unorthodox pick for best song on the record is the sixth track, He Won’t Go. Adele’s lyrical timing and big chorus make this quirky tune particularly memorable.Since she was born in 1988, I’ll excuse the cover of Lovesong, but bitches please stop with The Cure covers. We all love The Cure, but exercise some fucking self-restraint. The Cure are not The Beatles, you dig?
Adele, 21. Get on it.
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