Tag Archives: Hilary St. Raine

bong buy

 

CAM00700Went bong shopping on a whim with Hil yesterday and she spotted this beaut on the top shelf of the head shop.  Meet Augustus Clarc Gus for short.  At 9 millimeters thick, Gus is one durable, bitchy, glass-on-glass queen.  He’s a sturdy, flamboyant, fat, flat bottom.  Dontcha just love rainbows?CAM00701Beyond mere aesthetics and charm, practical considerations influence the purchase of a bong.  First and foremost, the glass must be thick.  Pay more for a substantial piece that can survive life’s hard knocks.  The tube to base ratio matters.  If the tube is too short relative to the size of the base, water pulls up the tube resulting in that unpleasant toilet splashback sensation.  I prefer a bong that fits comfortably from lap to mouth enabling the user to balance the instrument hands-free. CAM00702Don’t be seduced by the megahuge gimmick hamster wheel bongs.  While fun to look at in the store, they’re impossible to clean and difficult to pass in a communal circle.  Some of those devices almost require you to mount them to get a good hit.  Trust me when I say they aren’t worth the trouble.  Besides, you’ll be sad you paid so much when one of your clumsy friends breaks it. CAM00703

When you find your perfect glass slipper, upgrade the slide as the standard issue bowls are almost always shitty.  Negotiate.  At many headshops, clerks have wide discretion with pricing and steep discounts are not uncommon.

CAM00704

INC R-2 ROLLER BALL PEN

INCE R2 ROLLERBALL BLACKI was at my friend Hil’s a little while ago.  I needed a pen and she handed me this INC R-2 Roller Ball.  I began to write.  “This pen is sexual.”  I said.  “Right?!” she agreed.  There is a consensus.  INC R-2 Roller Balls are the shit.  Then she generously gave it to me.  She’s just that type of friend – a really good pen-giving friend.  Hil procures her INC R-2 Roller Balls at the dollar store.  INC R2 MULTI COLOR

July 2013 Horoscopes

CancerCANCER

Happy Birthday Cancer!  You are so incredibly delightful dear Crab.  When a Cancer accepts you as a friend, you will be loved and cared for as if you were family.  If a Cancer accepts you as a mate, you may expect unyielding support and devotion.  You can also expect excellent food and a well-kept home.  That’s not to say that Cancer isn’t difficult.  The sanctity of Cancer’s home comes first, and when domesticity destabilizes, our little Crab becomes quite unglued.  We’ve all learned that basic needs pyramid at some point in our miserable lives, and for Cancer the need for a secure home base is particularly important.  Cancers aren’t stubborn about much, but they expect to rule the roost.  After a period of visible struggle and unrest, relax and enjoy the summer by focusing on relationships.  A number of people have supported you when you needed it Cancer, and you still have some healing to do.  At work, Cancers contain the intensity of their emotional response because typically feelings aren’t acknowledged as a professional contribution.  That’s bullshit and we know it.  Some of your best creativity and problem-solving derives from your sincere and evocative emotional response to people and situations.  Trust your gut implicitly.  The next year holds much promise for you Cancer.  Accept all forms of discomfort as part of life and you will experience significantly less frustration.  I wish a very special and blessed birthday to my favorite Crab and DC supporter HillyYou shine.

LeoLEO

Uncharacteristically, this summer has presented a number of unexpected obstacles for Leo.  Usually, Little Miss Popularity doesn’t have to hustle quite so hard for acceptance and recognition.  In some ways you feel appreciated, but in many you feel invisible, and that just isn’t going to fly for the Queen of the Jungle.  It is as if you are riding the bumper car ride at the State Fair.  Leo keeps trying to steer out of the chaos, but certain aggressors just won’t let you casually hangout in the corner.  Even though you see the line of tooth-picking trash waiting impatiently for their turn to have fun with whiplash, the carny just won’t call time on your sesh.  What is a Lioness to do?  Play dirty bitch.  How many times are you going to get rammed from behind before you wake up and ram a bitch back?  Too chicken-shit to kick ass?  There is no room in the Zodiac for a cowardly Lion.  Stop waiting from someone else to blow the whistle on your torment.

VirgoVIRGO

In many ways, Virgo has never experienced the type of professional fulfillment that you feel right now.  However, a number of key relationships have taken a beating due to your hyper-focus.  Paradoxically, your single-minded devotion is the source of much of your success and failure.  Now is the time to decide who you are and what you want.  Rather than waiting for others to make decisions that have serious consequences for your life, you choose your path.  Virgo experiences legitimate anxiety over letting go.  What you are grasping for keeps slipping right through your fingers.  Rather than manically clutching, why not just let it fall?  Then you can cup your hands and see what you catch.  In order to feel satisfied with the reality of your life Virgo, you need to shift your expectations.  Not everything can be on your terms.

Libra

Oh Libra, where would we be without your peaceful touch?  I know two Libras that recently became mothers (blessings to Sam and D), and I think about how lucky their little girls are to have such even-tempered women to lead them through life.  Constantly accommodating for balance – lean a little here, give a little there – Libras recalibrate for the greater good.  Libras make it look effortless, but we all know it’s not easy and this high-wire act must be exhausting.  Much of your ability to glide by on the strand of a spiderweb comes from your inherent grace.  However, there are times when that lubricating Libran charm isn’t enough to smooth over the roughness.  July demands Libras cultivate a wider range of skills for navigating conflict.  Think of it this way: would you let your daughter (inner or actual) put up with any shit?  Then you shouldn’t either.

ScorpioSCORPIO

Scorpios have enjoyed an unexpected, yet deserved wave of good fortune.  Financially, a number of strategic and well-reasoned decisions have begun to pay off.  The difference between you and others is your ability to calculate risk and execute big decisions with far-reaching consequences.  Scorpios possess elephantine nutsacks.  Before your dick gets all engorged with ego, remember the ancient Chinese proverb, “The quacking duck gets shot.”  Keep quiet; because you already understand success puts a target on your back.  That’s why you keep a stinger back there.  Your all-or-nothing relationship mentality creates imbalance.  Thriving Scorpios guard their independence, keep space for themselves first, and fiercely protect it regardless of external demands.  You are fully capable of doing it on your own.

SagittariusSAG

One of your best attributes Sagittarius is your ability to overcome.  You don’t give yourself enough credit for your ability to survive the lows and create your own triumphs.  Take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments.  This exercise in self-admiration should take place safely within the confines of your own head.  Everyone appreciates your enthusiasm, but remember if you are always telling people how great you are it leaves them very little room to compliment you.  We don’t need to hear how much money you made on the deal.  Shut up and buy a round of drinks instead.  You’ve been steeped in championing as of late, put on your skirt and pom-poms and cheer for someone else for a change.

CapricornCAP

Capricorns are the tyrannical dictators of their own lives.  Some of you are like your own abusive spouse constantly beating yourself down.  Other Caps are like the world’s wife beater constantly taking their own bullshit out on the unsuspecting.  Which one are you?  Let July be the month you cut everyone a break and send that inner critic on vacation.  Don’t bother booking a return ticket for that dick either.  In its place, have an affair with spontaneity.  Court compassion this summer.  Barbeque your angst over an open fire.  Even though Caps are smart, efficient, and good company, aesthetics usually take a backseat to more practical considerations.  Look at your clothes, do they fit?  Do you even own a full length mirror?  Time to buy one and take a good long look in it.

AquariusAQUARIUS

July serves up a number of competing interests which never quite reconcile.  Prepare to take a side.  Aquarius must remain detail-oriented in July to avoid making stupid and obvious mistakes that compromise that sterling reputation.  Even though it’s summer, this isn’t a good time for partying and frivolity.  Focus energy on what’s required of you and execute your best effort.  A week before the end of the month Aquarius finds resolution on important issues which have existed as lingering question marks in the recent past.  Spend leisure time chiseling that body to perfection.  Eat well.  Sleep well.  Move well.  Keep with this motto this month and you will meet your goals.  Lastly, listen closely Aquarius: true love could be yours within the first half of the month.  Open your heart.

PiscesPISCES

A triangulation of planetary power forms to create a fertile, ripe, and rich energetic foundation from which your ideas can flourish.  The benefit of momentum and luck favors Pisces, so now is the time to cease the future-thinking and make it happen without further delay.  Apply that Piscean creativity to move forward with a well-considered plan that minimizes risk.  Ask for what you want.  For the next year welcome, love, romance, and seduction into your life and enjoy all the benefits that come from a fully functional and supportive relationship.  Single Fishies flirt and make visible ripples in the waters with their swagger.  Expect some envious sharks to try and take a bite at your style.  In July, the cosmos is in your corner if your intention is to grow your relationships and realize your dreams.

AriesSONY DSC

Aries needs to get realistic about some personal areas of dishonesty this July.  While you’ve been drowning yourself in work, responsibilities, and obligations, something funky has been fermenting at home and I don’t just mean in your fridge (which you should really clean out by the way).  Get more involved in the domestic sphere this month.  Spruce up your place and make sure it rises up to meet you.  Let’s have a come to Jesus conversation about finances.  Even though you think you are rolling in dough, have you adequately planned for the future?  Get a grip on the spending.  Shore up the leaks and secure your loot for an added sense of security.  The weekend of the 20th looks promising for both a family visit and a possible real estate acquisition.  This presents a nice opportunity to squeeze both tits with one hand.

TaurusTAURUS

Taurus vacillates between an intense desire to travel and an intense fear of overspending this July.  Don’t worry so much about the expenses of enjoying an adventure, your bank account will see replenishment of funds before month’s end.  All that attentiveness to strengthening your performance at work totally pays off.  Brace yourself for some major advancement news and some public shine as well.  Soon you will have your choice of plum assignments.  Family relationships experience strain due to your overwrought emotional reactions.  Let go of needing everyone to understand your point of view and aim for mutual respect instead.  Your best bet for romance is on that trip we discussed; local love looks unfavorable.

GeminiGEMINI

July proves profitable for industrious Geminis who demand their due.  A good word from a friend situates Gemini perfectly for a golden opportunity.  Planetary energy creates some lag in advancement this month, but there is no use in struggling against what can’t be changed.  Better to reroute that energy into information gathering and preparing to manage your incoming wealth.  You’ve wasted quite a bit of time dithering around, but your operational tempo is about to exponentially increase.  Make sure your basic needs are met – your home and health are in order – because soon you will have no time to think about either.  Geminis find little time for romance this month after a string of questionable dalliances.  With this amount of change afoot, better to let matters settle before you start up anything serious.

Hilary St. Raine: 35th Anniversary Edition

In gratitude for your unwavering support of Demeter Clarc, here is a special Birthday Horoscope just for you.

The Crab can make its home wherever it likes, and you have utilized this trait to reinvent yourself.  Your nurturing bosom comforts all those around you.  It is no surprise you were born under the sign of the boobies.  You are the human equivalent of a warm blanket, fresh from the dryer.  You experience feelings deeply.  Joy and love fill your life, yet you suffer under the weight of crippling sadness.  Despite your tendency to get tangled, don’t get it twisted: you are a survivor.