After some healthy snowfall, I stayed in today and spent several hours organizing. As much as staring at a heap of clutter induces anxiety, cleaning up the mess feels equally, if not more, stress relieving.
Today I focused on the office. To the extent I can, I try and go paperless, for the trees and to reduce the management of physical paperwork. However, one cannot transact all biz electronically. Set up a home filing system so you have a place to put the records that must be kept. 
Deal with paper as it comes in by sorting it into categories for recycling, shredding, requiring action, and filing. Invest in a filing cabinet. Document storage furniture can be pricey new, but there are always an abundance of options on craigslist and 2nd hand stores that are more economical. If you do want to spring for a new one, these from CB2 are pretty enjoyable.
I’ve been meeting with professionals to consult on a building project. Even though I’m at the very beginning of the process, talking to these narrow-minded folks is frustrating. When I tell them the intended budget – which I assure you is not wildly unrealistic, they look at me like I’m morphing into a giant blueberry. 
One of the main goals of the project is to use reclaimed, recycled, and locally sourced materials. We don’t want to kill anything to build the structure. Waste is plentiful in this world, so why not literally build something constructive out it? 
I’d like to gently remind the condescending experts that sustainably can function, and it can do so economically. Every home in this collection of photos is made from majority reclaimed, recycled, or repurposed materials. 
So it can be done. The challenge is finding the genius with the skills to effectively execute the vision and the creativity to inexpensively source materials. 
Not all of these dwellings may appeal to your personal taste, but you have to tip your hat to the ingenuity and resourcefulness that went in to constructing them. 
The media latched onto Madonna’s alleged tour contract rider request for a new toilet seat at each venue as if it were the most extravagant thing in the world. In truth, you can pick up a new toilet seat for next to nothing. If yours is nasty, replace it. Changing a toilet seat is simple and cheap, and so there really is no excuse for having a worn, discolored or decaying throne. The house I just moved into has wooden seats. Best believe those came off right away. I personally prefer a white seat, but a clean seat in any color or pattern will do.
How do you really get yourself or your shower clean without a detachable shower head? Masturbatory importance aside, a detachable shower head is a must. Much like a new toilet seat, a handheld shower is easy to install and is completely DIY. This fix is a cheap investment in exchange for a major upgrade in luxury. 
Ya’ll knew it was coming, here are a few of my best packing and moving tips. First things first, before you bring in a single box, clean your new place from top to bottom or pay someone else to clean it. Please don’t move into another’s filth. Sanitize the space and clear the energy. Burn a sage bundle bitch.
5) Moving yourself? Get a bigger truck than you think you will need. Extra space is a luxury. Pick too small a truck and find yourself stressfully sacrifice-sorting as you load cargo to the gills. If renting a truck, spring for the insurance.
4) Speaking of sorting, before you ever get to the truck, mercilessly cut from your collection. Give your friends first dibs, and send the rest to charity. At least the most useless 25% of your shit needs to go. After giving friends a bunch of free stuff you won’t feel so bad asking them to help you help carry the sofa. 
3) Most major retailers give away boxes for free. That’s no big secret. So don’t skimp on purchasing accessories and packing supplies. Paper, wrap, specialty boxes; get what you need to properly prepare your belongings to survive the journey. The cost of proper packing supplies pales in comparison to the heartache of opening a box upon arrival and finding a fractured heirloom. Get a variety of box sizes, and don’t pack them so heavy you can’t carry them up and down stairs. Protect yourself with proper planning. 
2) Take care of valuables yourself. Handle special or sentimental items personally or risk possible destruction. No one will handle your most precious baubles as tenderly.
1) Get plenty of sleep and take time to eat. Once you arrive to your new home unpack as quickly and completely as possible. Don’t stop working on your new home until everything has a special place. If you just shove things in drawers and closets without care the place will remain an unorganized mess. Arrange everything carefully from the start and maintain a tidy home with ease.
Great news folks, my master plan worked, and now I’m moving into a sweet new place in a matter of days. 
Gonna go meet the owner tomorrow and sign an intensely negotiated lease. Even though my current landlord occasionally behaves like a hag, I met with her face-to-face and gave her proper written notice, respect, and gratitude. No matter how much I wish to flee, I can’t leave a mess physically or psychologically. My mama taught me right ya’ll. So now, it’s onwards and upwards. 
Instead of working myself ragged this move, I’m going to hire a team of professional cleaners to help with the transition from old space to new. I’ll clean quite a bit myself too, but this time I want support. Even though it’s a ton of work, don’t you love a good move? New season, new energy, new space. Happy Summer. 
Attentive readers may remember I’m looking to relocate while I work on a project in a semi-remote location. I’m currently in the midst of negotiations with the homeowners of a nearby property I would like to rent while working on the project. At first, I thought I could handle keeping the house on the market. When I really considered it, I’m intensely private and clean, and there is no way I can have strangers noodling around in my stuff and shedding errant pubes. Plus, I don’t want to deal with the insecurity of worrying the house will sell and force another disruptive and expensive move. The owners are considering a counter that keeps the house off the market for one year for a generous amount of rent. 
They expressed an interest in unloading the house. Between you and I, the house has been on the market for three months with no offers and just a handful of showings. If it is going to sell, it will sell before Labor Day, but I seriously doubt it will sell at all without a drastic price cut. It’s a quirky overpriced house with a weird, obviously-not-to-code staircase. I’ll take it as a rental, but it’s obvious to see why it hasn’t ignited much interest in the market or yielded any offers. 
Now, I’m contemplating what to do if they decline our offer. (No hard feelings if they do). Do I upgrade to an overpriced rental or buy something cheap and fix it up? A fixer upper adds value to my investment, but diverts funds from my central project. A posh rental also adds up, but is move-in ready, completely fresh, and low-maintenance. 
The third and final option is whether I can make my current abode work for a little while longer? Even though my LL (fairly and modestly, but annoyingly) raised the rent? I hate it here, and I hate to hate where I’m living. 
We’ll see what happens with Mr. an Mrs. Homeowner from above; maybe they’ll come to their senses and see my offer for the money making opportunity it is for them. Because trust, that house will sit on the market stale for another year until they make an embarrassing price reduction or rent it to someone else less tidy and dependable. 
Want to make a late correction to today’s post. I believe I may have misidentified the shop where I bought my dress as Flutter Clutter when it is in fact called Eden. Eden has a website at edenportland.com. I’m going to leave information on the sister shops in this post because both are worthy of attention, but to be clear, Eden is the extra cute store where I bought my reasonably-priced reworked vintage. I wholeheartedly apologize for any confusion. There is just so much sweetness in Portland, it is hard to keep it all straight. 
Stumbled upon a darling shop in rosy Portland today called Eden. I was drawn in by a rack of adorable dresses outside the store and made my way in to discover a number of unique treasures. 
Eden stocks all sorts of fun, like quirky found items, granny’s thrift store dresses reworked into modern shapes, souped-up vintage furs and lingerie, delicious perfumes, books, cards, cute tid-bits, and whimsical what-nots. 
Often when I stumble across a store of this nature, it is full of sweetness, but the prices are astronomically bitter. Not at Eden; their special finds are priced to move. How does $52 for a one-of-a-kind frock sound? Sounds totally reasonable to me, so I picked one up. 
Check out both websites flutterclutter.com and edenportland.com; the online inventory is more limited than the in-person browsing experience, but you can get a taste of their eclectic offerings. Enjoy free shipping on orders exceeding $100. This shop is well worth a look and full of intriguing gift ideas.
Portlanders keep a number of vegetarian restaurants and food trucks thriving, and Prasad is a standout among them. Prasad shares space with a yoga studio – Yoga Pearl. Didn’t get a chance to take a class, but yoga + a delicious vegan lunch sounds like a fantastic afternoon to me – a great concept for a shared space that is well-executed. Leave it to Portland to get it right. 
Cat lovers scroll on through. I’m about to go on an anti-cat rant that’s going to make your pussy hurt. (Michael, Katie, I mean it.) Why am I filled with feline vitriol you ask? Because I spent the day bleach mopping cat piss out of sub-flooring, that’s why. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH CAT PISS ANYWAY?
I know, I know, you love your cat. Your cat does for you what no person could. I get it. Do you get that when cats get old they piss everywhere and it is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to remove the smell? Do you realize a nuclear apocalypse would not eradicate that stank of cat pee from your apartment? 
In addition to destroying your home with their incontinence, cats can transmit diseases and parasites to people including, but not limited to: Toxoplasmosis, Leptospira, the Plague, Rabies, roundworm, hookworm, ringworm, Salmonella, and tapeworm. Yeah, keep letting kitty climb all over your kitchen. Add a side order of tapeworm to that PB&J. 
As you all know, I’m a staunch defender of our animal friends. I don’t eat or wear them. But I also don’t keep any pets for a variety of reasons. Do I really hate cats? No. Do I really hate irresponsible dirty-ass cat owners? Fuck yes. 
And while I’m getting up after all you pet owners, dog people CLEAN UP FIDO’S SHIT. Why don’t I take a dump on your lawn? How about that? Fucking gross yo.
I’ve been looking at properties. I hate everything. After over a dozen tours of different homes all over the area, there is nothing I want to buy. 
The investment pool in my area is tiny. Many banks have decided to hang on to foreclosures and release them a little at a time. Limited inventory drives up demand and inflates prices. Good for the economy and the bank’s books, but not for buyers who were hoping to take advantage of the foreclosure glut. 
Everything needs work. Even places that have been redone need work, but many of these homes aren’t priced to reflect the work actually required. I’m not scared of a little hard work, nor do I lack vision, but nothing inspires me right now.
