So I was talking to one of my favorite people ever today. He’s been mentoring a cousin semi-new to the scene and trying to instill the proper etiquette into the young man for navigating the treacherous waters of the modern gay world.
My impeccably clean and well-mannered pal has extended his home to his ill-mannered cousin on a number of occasions. In the past, cugino harmlessly and forgettably annoyed friend and his put-upon partner when staying over, but recently the off-side twat went too far.
After arranging his cuz comfortably and appropriately in front of the tv on the couch, friend trusted his cousin in his apartment unattended for a short window of time.
During the brief moment of solitude in his older, respected mentor’s well-kept home, cousin crept upstairs and rifled around in the room he shares with his long term partner.
Primo shamelessly fished through the goody drawer and with unmitigated gall had the audacity to employ a very pricey prostate stimulator and do work on himself.
Take a moment and let it wash over you. I understand. Happy to wait. 
How did friend know about the trespass? Cousin left the dirty ass toy on a washcloth next to the sink like a parting gift. He did not even bother to wipe it down with the rubbing alcohol conveniently adjacent.
So just in case any of you extra sloppy-ass invasive bitches (paging punk cousin) need a remedial manners moment, using someone else’s butt fun without permission is not a gesture of gratitude.
There are very clear and distinct rules for hosting an overnight guest. If hosting is done properly, a lot of preparation and careful forethought is required.
First, you must clean. You must clean above and beyond your normal routine. If you don’t have a normal cleaning routine, you are a filthy pig and don’t deserve a visit anyway.
Guests should never have to confront your pubes on the toilet, your hair in the shower, or a dirty bathmat. The accommodations you provide for your guests should exceed the standards of cleanliness at a four star hotel. Even if your accommodations are modest, they must be impeccably clean.
Your guest needs a place to put his or her things. Provide empty shelves in the bathroom and hanging space for clothing. Think about what you need when you stay somewhere, provide extra towels, extra blankets, ear plugs, and any little extra luxury your guest might enjoy.
As a guest, be respectful and use only the guest bathroom. Keep your things in your assigned space and not scattered about your host’s home. Respect each others privacy. 
Guests, you’ve got three days. That’s it. Hosting well is an art and it can be tiring. To ensure a repeat invitation always leave your host wanting more.