I’m not going to pretend there aren’t things I don’t miss about my ex. I wouldn’t have been with him for close to a decade if he didn’t have some redeeming qualities. Since we’ve split, we rarely talk. His hateful parents were a major reason we broke up. They aren’t very nice. They don’t seem to like anyone. They participate in long estrangements from family for flimsy reasons. They grumble. They complain. Too cowardly to say it to your face, they would rather just passive aggressively back-bite. I did not want to form a family amidst the discord. And the thought of dealing with them over a lifetime felt like an emotional prison sentence destined to indefinitely ruin every holiday and cause innumerable conflicts. My ex’s sister and husband just had a baby, and the parents came out to visit from another state. After years of ill-feelings, not even a brand new little sweet baby could serve to keep the peace. The parents departed early leaving behind a dirty diaper full of fermenting bad feelings.In the wake of their departure, I got the inevitable text from the son-in-law with concerns he didn’t know how much longer he could take it. The hateful parents are causing a major strain on the marriage even from hundreds of miles away. I can’t help but feel like I dodged a bullet getting out when I did. Even though my ex has a number of wonderful qualities, his inability to appropriately deal with his unreasonable parents spelled disaster for the future of our union. If you don’t like your partner’s family, don’t get married because it can only really play out two ways. Either 1) suck it up and forever deal with people who despise you; or 2) set boundaries limiting your contact with the mean ones which in turn distances your partner from his family thereby breeding resentment in your relationship. See why this will never work? Don’t even bother.
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