Tag Archives: Jessica Simpson

Sunday with Mom

4 for Friday

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Jessica Simpson had a big ass 9+ lbs baby girl aptly named Maxwell this week.  I think it is safe to say we all feel some collective relief knowing that intense gestation has come to a close.  These last few weeks looking at her behemoth belly has made me truly uncomfortable.  Think she will be able to meet her contractual obligations to Weight Watchers with a newborn baby?  Knowing what we do about Jessica, I wonder whether she’ll survive the early days of motherhood without substantial aid from her mom Tina.

Bethenny and Jason are completely screwed right?  If they are fighting this much on camera, what is happening off screen?  Just tell him to fuck off Bethenny.  You got your baby and more dough than you can spend.  Cut the dead weight and get a cabana boy.  Did you hear the rumor she hooked up with The Situation?  GROSS.Edvard Munch’s The Scream sold to an anonymous buyer for a record-breaking $120 million this week.  Is “anonymous buyer” code for Saudi Royal?Linda Evangelista was back in court this week seeking child support from billionaire baby daddy Francois-Henri Pinault.  Doesn’t he know she doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day?  He’s getting a bargain rate at $46,000 a month.  

a whole mess of pregnant bitches

Is it me, or is everyone and her aunt pregnant right now? 

Really with the covers?  Snooks I get, but Reese, really?  I know Lainey thinks this is a PR strategy executed by Reese’s team.  If it is a PR stunt, it’s a shitty, boring, pathetic one.  This is beneath you Witherspoon.

Enough with the Demi redux. 

I’m not offended by the pregnant nudity, I’m repulsed by that dead fish look in her eyes.  Smize bitch. Kourtney shamelessly used her pregnancy as a diversionary tactic.  Don’t forget Uma’s change of life baby. 

3 for Friday: Cox Blox, Skky Repurposed, Retro Zoe

Cougar Town returned, but felt like a foregone canceled conclusion.  Did you catch Courteney Cox on The View with Josh Hopkins earlier this week?  She limply pimped Cougar Town’s return with the type of enthusiasm reserved for a funeral procession.  Poor optimistic Josh carried on charming Grandma Walters and her wicked chickens as if it mattered.  

Attended the home and garden show this week.  What do we think of this stuff?  It is made of 85% recycled glass, concrete, and some other binding agents.  It is sold under a variety of different brand names as an eco-alternative to marble and granite.  It is very durable, doesn’t off-gas, and is relatively low maintenance.  It is quite pricey though at around $100 a square foot installed.In a reality rewind, I’m getting ready to have laser corrected vision surgery which got me in the mood to watch Jessica and Nick on the Newlyweds.  Remember the episode when Jessica and Casey get Lasik and then hit Red Robin?  Anyway, I’m watching season 1 and low and behold if the self-anointed Queen of Style Rachel Zoe isn’t a lowly wardrobe assistant rushing over to blanket a whining Jessica Simpson in a plush bath robe between takes.  Best retro background sighting of the week.  In the same season background scenery, catch an even-leathery-back-then Robin Antin and Mikey Minden as a curly-tressed neophyte choreographer.

Sunday with Matrimony

Sunday with Santa

LABOR DAY

STYLEMAX

Sick of short and tight?  Try long and flowy.

Bold prints look current.

Great for traveling…

…or dressy summer nights.