Home > Josephine Baker
Ramona’s daughter Avery and LuAnn’s daughter Victoria both celebrated their 16th birthday on the same night this week. The first segment skipped back and forth between scenes of overbearing, bratty Avery making demands of her planners, and a vacant Victoria abdicating complete control to hers.Avery nixed a series of ideas from the pushy planner. Her worst fear seemed to be that the event would feel “bat mitzvah.” Like most girls their age, both wanted a 21st birthday disguised as a 16th.Prying must run in the family because Jill’s sister couldn’t resist offering unsolicited legal advice to Sonja about her bankruptcy. Forcing this conversation in Wexler’s waiting room was gross and uncomfortable.But not nearly as gross and uncomfortable as watching Dr. Wexler deliver a series of painful injections around the perimeter of Jill’s face.LuAnn threw a surprise party for Jill’s birthday. When Ramona arrived, she and LuAnn discovered that their daughters’ birthday parties not only fell on the same night, they also shared the same theme! Faux Frost Pas.Jill’s nearest and dearest attention-seeking castmates each took turns hogging the spotlight. First Barshop did some weird poetry reading in a headpiece claiming to evoke Josephine Baker, but her outfit reflects that she had no actual knowledge of Josephine Baker.Then Kelly used her toast time at the mic to repeatedly point out that she was late and apologize to the uninterested crowd. Ramona donned a red wig and impersonated Jill complaining about the size of her diamonds. Self-serving LuAnn headed up the rear in full showgirl regalia singing a dragish tribute to Jill that had the crowd searching for her Adam’s Apple.Simon can’t quite quit smoking for good, so he hired a hypnotist to externally lobotomize his nicotine craving. Like any good junkie, he had to go out for one last fix. When he returned, Jacob put him under and repeatedly yelled “you are a non-smoker!” in an unidentifiable accent.Ramona checked into the party venue and panicked when she realized her precious Pinot hadn’t arrived. She kept slurring “seriously” to convey the urgency of the issue to the staff. From outside appearances, the only serious problem is the one Ramona seems to have with drinking.Both parties were impressive and very different. Avery went with an all white wedding reception feel, and Victoria went with a downtown clubby vibe. Ramona admitted she spent more on this party than she has on any other – even on herself and Mario. Despite the monster budget, Jill couldn’t procure a cocktail napkin, not even from the bartender.In comparing the two parties, Victoria’s seemed more fun (she for sure had the better dress). Rather than leverage her daughter’s birthday for her own side fiesta, LuAnn left early to bang Jacques and allowed Victoria to finish the night with her friends. Lest we forget when you’re 16, the great parties aren’t the expensive ones; they are the ones with the least amount of parental supervision.
You are viewing the Josephine Baker tag archives.