Tag Archives: Katie Holmes

Fall 2013 RTW: Holmes & Yang

Why does Katie Holmes persist with the fashion farce that is Holmes & Yang?  The clothes are consistently both heinous and completely forgettable.  I really want to know who (if anyone) is buying these garments.  Look at these sleeves!  This get-up ain’t even tailored correctly.  If you are going to be sloppy and lazy, why bother? Don’t even attempt to find a unifying theme or guiding idea because it isn’t there.  Every collection the duo has produced lacks cohesion and feels extra random and disconnected.  This looks like the ugly cousin of the hideous tartan plaid Christmas outfit my Mom made me wear when I was four.  She had one to match and even in pre-K I knew that shit was an unequivocal “don’t.” 

I know you are placing your pre-order now.

Don’t forget the gowns.  Please explain why this dress (above) is too short, but the sleeves are mysteriously too long?

Spring 2013 RTW ~ Holmes & Yang ~ Dawson’s Peaked

I’ll say what others won’t.  It really was that bad.  Katie Holmes makes Victoria Beckham look like Galliano.

to telluride

Taking a long weekend trip to Telluride to practice yoga this weekend at the Telluride Yoga Festival.  Tons of top quality instructors descend on the mountain town for the fairly-new-to-the-scene gathering.  The ritzy mountain enclave counts Oprah, Tom Cruise, and Ralph Lauren as some of its part-time residents.  Between my down dogs I promise to work a little star intel.  Maybe Tom will take a few days in the mountains to let this whole divorce drama die down.

 

3 for Thursday

How exciting is this whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes split?  Is it just a coincidence the marriage lasted right around 5 years just like the rumored contract?  Let’s hope with the end of this marriage comes the end of Katie’s blank-ass expression, mediocre clothing line, and non-acting career.  She used to be so adorable and ripe with potential and talent.  Rumored reasons for the split?  Tom sending Suri to Sea Org?!  Surveillance assigned to Tom’s adopted daughter Isabella?!  Isolation insisted upon by the Church of Scientology? Some juicy morsels are bound to surface from the swirl of this sure-to-be messy separation.  In the meantime, we’ll just count the days until Suri’s tell-all.  You know Travolta has got to be relieved to have the Church leaders distracted with this new wave of bad press and defection.Did you catch the premiere of season 2 of Episodes this week?  I watched season 1 of this weird little series last year and was hesitant to recommend it to you because the pace is a bit glacial in the beginning.  I wasn’t a Friends fan, so I’m not recommending the Matt LaBlanc show out of some sort of misplaced loyalty.  The supporting players are the true highlight – particularly Daisy Haggard, who basically makes me shit my pants every time she appears on screen.  Episodes is worth a watch, especially when conveniently paired with….

Lisa Kudrow’s Web Therapy.  I still drag The Comeback out every so often and burn through that underrated gem.  Web Therapy scratches a similar itch.  The premiere boasts appearances from players like Rosie O’Donnell, Meryl Streep, and returning cast member Alan Cumming.  Most of the show is improvised by skilled comics, but even among the best in the biz, Kudrow anchors the comedy with the genius affectations of therapist Fiona Wallice.

And please schedule your DVR to record The Real L Word season 3 premiere July 12th because that hot mess of lesbian drama is an annual tradition here at DC.

 

 

Sunday with Katie Holmes

emmy 2011 style review: red, wrong, and blue

The best and worst of the A-list: Kate Winslet in Elie Saab and Gwyneth Paltrow in PucciGwyneth’s face looks better than it has in a while, but the dress is confusing and wrong.  A transparent midriff, really G?Another disappointing turn for Katie Holmes in Calvin Klein Collection.  Bad fit, uninspired color, and boring shoes combined to create another dud for Mrs. CruiseEvan Rachel Wood provided a refreshing relief from the onslaught of red in an immaculately tailored Elie Saab.

Hate to say Christina Hendricks looked unnecessarily big in an embellished Johanna Johnson gown.  The open toe and low heeled shoe makes her legs appear chunky.  A darker tressed Elisabeth Moss stayed in the same color family as her co-star in a pinky-nudish Marchesa adorned with shimmering vines.  Damn, I miss Mad Men.Let’s get the Glee bitches out of the way: self-important Lea Michele vamping for the flashbulbs in Marchesa, Jenna Ushkowitz in an architectural Ghadah Paris, and Diana Agron in Roskanda Ilinic. Naya Rivera’s chic, black, subtly-detailed gown made Heather Morris‘ selection look fussy by comparison. Colfer proves that photographically satin betrays both genders.  Darren Criss showed up his more well-known cast mate in a slender suit by John Varvatos. Of the hostesses, Cat Deeley didn’t embarrass herself or wow in Monique L’Huillier.  I question the clutch choice with this particular gown.  Even with ample style resources, Padma Lakshmi in Armani Privé and Heidi Klum in Christian Siriano reinforce the notion that most models can’t dress themselves worth a shit. You would think that the Fashion Police might dress a skosh more fashionably, right?  Giuliana wore a crimson Cavalli which got lost in the sea of red gowns.  Kelly Osbourne did a bit better in plum J. Mendel.  However, for someone who regularly critiques others for failing to make fashion forward choices, this safe dress felt more Lea Michele than Kelly Osbourne.  Though let’s face it, none of these third tier hangers-on get first pick of the best gowns. Prettier than most ladies, how about a little Mario Lopez palette cleanser?  Werk those dimples son. Joel McHale also looked dapper and fresh in his icy tux coat. Not much better than that dreadful Wonder Woman costume, Adrianne Palicki arrived in anti-photogenic satin.  Super likable Connie Britton looked lovely in a deeper shade of the night’s most favored hue.  For a woman her age, the face and body are damn aspirational and underrated. Minka’s old lady Christian Dior underscored the impact of Galliano’s departure on the house.  This gown isn’t going to give Jeter any regrets.   Usually Claire does Narciso or Calvin Klein; instead she went in a different direction with this flashy Oscar de la Renta gown.  The perennially overrated Emily Blunt donned Elie SaabElie Saab provided many of the evening’s strongest looks, but this wasn’t one of them.  Why does she always have that just-ate-a-canary mug on her face?Julie Bowen did de la Renta this year and kept the accessories minimal.  Sofia Vergara rocked Wang (Vera not Alexander, obviously).  Don’t match the lipstick to the dress please.For comics,  Kristen Wiig impressed in ombre Zac Posen, and Amy Poehler rocked Peter Som.  Her dress was featured right here on Demeter Clarc in the best of blue for Fall 2011 RTW.

Pint-sized Nina Dobrev was swallowed whole by bloodshot Donna Karan.   Hate the necklace too.  Margulies‘ unseasonable white Armani Privé evoked Styrofoam cup. Let’s finish strong and severe with Game of Thrones actress Lena Headey in Alessandra Rich.  A different bag and belt could have catapulted her from an eight to a ten.  The fantastic Christine Baranski served a seasonally appropriate dark blue Zac Posen and outshone many attendees half her age.

Sunday with a sweater

VMAjor Fashion Letdown

Love Adele, but this boring-ass dress explains why she’s often photographed from the shoulders up. Fucking gross yo.  Beyoncé does her bun in the oven pose in tangerine Lanvin.  I’m sure Gwyneth is thrilled at the prospect of sharing her homemade organic baby food recipes.Miley Cyrus in Cavalli and Selena Gomez in Julien Macdonald, these two twats look 35.

Justin Beiber is the only young lady who dressed her age.

You can take the whores out of the Shore, but not the Shore out of these whores.Jojo you know it’s just a little too late…

All that auditing has dulled her taste in clothes.  Katie dressed like she was attending a parent-teacher conference instead of the VMAs.  The awkward stance and hideous booties do nothing to redeem the look.  The fact that Pete Wentz topped the best dress should give you an indication of the evening’s style caliber. Wasn’t wowed by Mizz Saldana in a embellished LBD by Barbara Bui, but I’ll still probably see her new movie ColombianaFor Katy Perry life is a costume party rather than a fashion show.  Here she channeled her “happy endings” look.

This is not an appropriate response to a cold sore Nicki.

More of the same from Miss Piggy’s Armenian cousin who always serves too much titty, too much belly, and too much hair.  

Lysine: Sorry for the Herpes

Not long ago, an acquaintance had a cold sore the size of Saturn festering on her lip for at least two weeks.  The eruption was down right distracting, like one of those car crash situations where you don’t want to look, but absolutely can’t look away. I was dying to throw some Lysine in her direction.  Lysine inhibits the herp by repressing the metabolism of Arginine, another amino acid which acts as herpes food. Many foods contain Lysine in various levels.  For example, beans and lentils contain quite a bit.  Generally speaking, most of us don’t get enough of this essential amino acid to effectively inhibit canker sores without a dietary supplement. Clinical studies suggest that at least 1250 milligrams must be taken for significant results.  Keep in mind that gelatin contains Arginine, so definitely avoid Lysine supplements containing this counterproductive ingredient.Synthetically produced Lysine is cheaper than naturally sourced, but both seem to do the trick to combat fever blisters.  Use Lysine to ward off an attack, shorten its duration, and speed healing.  Lysine is a cheap, natural, and effective treatment for the herp – pass it on.