…Salma Hayek in Gucci for the Best Bluish Black. She has a certain carefree sparkle only a billion dollars can buy. 
…Nicole Richie in Naeem Khan for best Palm Beach Housewife. Is this bitch 74? G-jus. 
…Amanda Seyfried in Givenchy for most Unseasonably Springy. I should hate this doily shit, but I don’t. 
…Claire Danes in red Versace for best Post Baby Body Bounce-Back. Doesn’t she look 10 years younger with those 15 extra pounds?
…Connie Britton wins Most Consistent in KaufmanFranco.
…Jessica Alba for most Irrelevantly Gorgeous. Penalty for skinning a defenseless Muppet for that embarrassing bag. 
…Amy Adams in Marchesa wins the prize for Most Likely to be Accidentally Confused with Taylor Swift.
…Halle Berry for Misdemeanor Midriff Exposure in Versace. 
…Sally Field for worst Granny Globes, gown by Alberta Ferretti.
…Kerry Washington for Most Overrated in Miu Miu.
…Anne Hathaway for Most Boring Chanel.
…Zosia Mamet for Best of the Girls.
…Lena Dunham for snatching Helen Mirren’s Zac Posen gown.
…Allison Williams for Most Forgettable Girl.
…Jessica Chastain in Calvin Klein Slightly Wrong from Head to Toe.
…Jennifer Lawrence for failure to learn from Jessica Biel’s Weird Dior-titty Mistake. 
…Lucy Liu for Most Incongruent in Carolina Herrera. What is this floral fuckmess?
…Hayden Panettiere wins Most Repetitious in Roberto Cavalli. 
…Jennifer Lopez for Most in Need of a Divorce from Zuhair Murad.
…Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta for Most Misguided Personal Style.
…Naomi Watts for Best Zac Posen.
…Nicole Kidman for Most Improved Hair. This is a chicer length for her. 
…Rachel Weisz in Louis Vuitton for the Worst 3-Way Split.
…Giuliana Rancic in Celia Kritharioti for Most Felonious Showing by an Officer of the Fashion Police.
The best of the night were all appropriately in black. Rihanna plunged in the front and sloped low in the back in this major Armani. Gwyneth repped her inner-circle in Stella McCartney. From the neck down Gwyneth looks amazing, but she’s looking a little inflamed in the face. Bad bronzer or bad eight ball? You decide. 
Adele turned it out in Armani. We sure as fuck knew she wouldn’t wear Chanel after Karl’s latest round of bad Grandpa fat comments.
Not all the black was good; Julianne Hough wasted her crazy toned body in this unflattering and boring Kaufmanfranco.
Bruno Mars gave a little ankle in this fashion-forward Thom Browne look. Not everyone will get it, but I appreciate the effort. 
Saggy tits. That’s the first thing that comes to mind when I see Katy Perry in this Elie Saab gown. The sophomoric blue hair and the pastel Tinkerbell gown are enough to induce the heaves. This girl cannot sing, she cannot dress, and therefore I have no use for her. No use at all. Good day Katy Perry. I said good day.
And the “desperately seeking attention” award goes to….miz Minaj. She has talent, so why won’t she lead with it? It’s Versace by the way. The cape not the bishop. 
Let’s work our way through the “irrelevant in white” category. Kathy Griffin wore Michael Kors rather well. Why is it when she looks better she’s less funny?
Kate Beckinsale usually shows up to these events in overblown ball gowns, so this Zuhair Murad is actually a surprisingly appropriate choice for her. She still can’t ditch the pageant hair, but baby steps are still progress. Paris Hilton wore a well-tailored Basil Soda. I’m not on fire for the white and gold combo. She looks better than usual, but a skosh overdressed.
Robyn, L.A. doesn’t do the whole quirky Nordic thing. Just ask Bjork. This whole look is an unmitigated hell no. 
One of the few pops of color, Fergie in Jean Paul Gaultier; I can feel how much she desperately wants our approval, but I must withhold it. 
Adam Levine doing his best Scott Disick. Between Scott and Adam, who do you think gets called “douche” more often to his face?
Taylor Swift is like the Nicole Kidman of the under-25 set. This over-serious frock is a Zuhair Murad creation.
Of everyone, Keri Hilson turned it out best and most appropriately in Basil Soda. 
Predictably, metallic mania saturated the 2011 Grammy red carpet. JLo in Emilio Pucci, and look at little Snooks werking an exaggerated shoulder. 
Selena Gomez looked ten years older in J Mendel. Heidi Klum improved over her last dress disaster with this Julien MacDonald. 
Kim Kardashian gambled on titty tape in Kaufmanfranco, Miley in Cavalli, and Rimes in Reem Acra. 
JHud channeled Naomi in Versace. She’d be a contender for best dressed if the skirt had reached the floor. From the waist down, the dress is reading budget. 
Ciara showed almost everything in Emilio Pucci. Wrong shoes girl. 
Minaj in Givenchy, Gaga in Hussien Chalayan, and (to some extent) Rihanna in Gaultier served avant-garde, but their attempts at fashion rebellion felt a bit contrived. 
Florence Welch broke out the new Givenchy hot off the runway. 
Katy Perry dug up her Halloween faerie costume from 2001. Wings Katy, really? That abomination is fucking Armani yo!
Don’t love the dress, but overall, this is a vast improvement for Nicole Kidman who has been looking like dookie lately. Natasha Bedingfield and Julianne Hough also donned florals and patterns. 
