At the dinner with odd seating arrangements, Bethenny spread some juicy De Lesseps adultery gossip that she’s been waiting to strategically reveal. Is Patrón sponsoring Ramona? Two episodes, two Patrón product placements, coincidence or endorsement deal? Nice cupcakes Bethenny.
Teatime with Rosie and LuAnn left no question in my mind why Rosie left “Mrs. D” and her grubby children behind in the Hamptons and took a better position in the city. 
LuAnn continually reasserts her perceived superiority with comments like, “This is a nice switch Rosie, I’m bringing you the tea now,” and “I have a new girl, so it is a lot of work to teach someone new how to do everything that you like them to do, so it is actually double the work.” Bitch shut up and do your own God Damn laundry.
LuAnn literally chokes on the word divorce during her conversation with Rosie. She mostly fishes for reassurance with needy questions like, “Do you miss us?” and “How do I look?” (Truthfully LuAnn, the prints are a bit much.) To top it off, Ms. Manners then says, “You look good too, you kept your weight off.”
Jill did tell Ramona that she was calling on LuAnn’s phone, so Ramona should have considered that LuAnn may be within earshot. Ultimately however, it was Jill’s responsibility to disclose to Ramona that LuAnn was sitting right there. Thankfully, she didn’t, and we were treated to a rare, uncensored, honest moment. I doubt anyone is particularly shocked that the Countess got down behind the Count’s back, but I am shocked and thrilled Ramona called her on her bullshit. 
Jesus, Bethenny loves Phillippe. Is Jason Hoppy the East Coast Slade Smiley? Is he sincere or did that move-in-together speech feel a little rehearsed and contrived? Maybe I’m just cynical, but it feels like he’s trying to play white knight. Without more information, I’m reserving judgment on Hoppy for now. 
WTF is Kelly wearing? Are there shorts under there? Why could the Playboy announcement not wait until after lunch? The Countess is clearly concerned about her steaks. Was that not the longest, most irrelevant prologue ever? First off bitch, John Mayer was the big interview in that issue. Second, Jill and/or the Countess would JUMP at the opportunity to do Playboy if asked. Third, Noel can’t wait to jerk off at the very notion of Kelly in a MILF spread. 
Who would have thought we’d ever see LuAnn and Ramona fight over Silex? The childish dispute erupted into a power struggle between the two camps with a bewildered Alex acting as the rope in Jill and Ramona’s tug of war, and Silex could not be more flattered with all the fuss.