Alex

To ensure they too got some air time this week, Ramona, Avery, Alex, and Sonja went to a hip-hop lesson, which was easily the most embarrassing five minutes of the season for everyone involved. Alex and Simon hosted an art thing in Brooklyn, and since Ramona and Sonja didn’t go to Atlantic City to shoot the video they deigned to cross the bridge.  The Manhattanites took turns dissing the borough and acted like they’d been forced to endure a trek to a developing nation.  Sonja accidentally flashed a little nip upon arrival, and the excitement level pretty much plummeted from there.Next week the finale puts this sleepy season to bed for good.  Can the show be salvaged with this group of ladies or will Bravo toss the whole lot and recast for next year?

With Taylor gone, I feared The Rachel Zoe Project had lost its teeth.  With the addition of A-listers like Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway however, RZP fulfilled the behind-the-scene celebrity styling promise that in seasons past it had failed to keep.

Unlike the boring botoxed Beverly Hills bitches and the irrelevant social faux posers of D.C., the most recent season of the Real Housewives of New York City was a total game changer with Bethenny’s engagement, pregnancy, and friendship-ending feud with Jill, the aftermath of LuAnn’s divorce, and the endless entertaining mania provided by Kelly Bensimon. 

Mad Men somehow managed to improve upon perfection.  Season four was the best so far for the impeccably written, acted, and styled period drama.  The finale left a huge gaping hole in Sundays.

For Worse…

We’re seven episodes into a meandering kidnapping plot on Sons of Anarchy and it pales in comparison to last season’s tightly constructed story anchored by a brilliant Katey Sagal.  Get it together boys.  Though we all appreciated the stunt casting of Stephen King, you only have a few episodes left to salvage this season. Admit it, this once-brilliant show has been circling the drain for awhile.  At this point, it is beyond salvation.  Once the Botwin’s left the construct of suburbia, the show’s concept fell apart.  Where is Elizabeth Perkins?  Romany Malco?  This show deserves double demerits for dropping some of its best cast — without explanation — along the way.   Schwartz and Savage are the poster children for squandered opportunity.  First with the O.C., and now with Gossip Girl, the overrated duo begin with a great concept and then proceed to completely mismanage its potential.  The first season of Gossip Girl sizzled; since then, it has gone from lukewarm to completely irrelevant.  At this point, Degrassi has more edge.

Teatime with Rosie and LuAnn left no question in my mind why Rosie left “Mrs. D” and her grubby children behind in the Hamptons and took a better position in the city.  

LuAnn continually reasserts her perceived superiority with comments like, “This is a nice switch Rosie, I’m bringing you the tea now,” and “I have a new girl, so it is a lot of work to teach someone new how to do everything that you like them to do, so it is actually double the work.”  Bitch shut up and do your own God Damn laundry.

LuAnn literally chokes on the word divorce during her conversation with Rosie.  She mostly fishes for reassurance with needy questions like, “Do you miss us?” and “How do I look?” (Truthfully LuAnn, the prints are a bit much.)  To top it off, Ms. Manners then says, “You look good too, you kept your weight off.”

Jill did tell Ramona that she was calling on LuAnn’s phone, so Ramona should have considered that LuAnn may be within earshot.  Ultimately however, it was Jill’s responsibility to disclose to Ramona that LuAnn was sitting right there.  Thankfully, she didn’t, and we were treated to a rare, uncensored, honest moment.  I doubt anyone is particularly shocked that the Countess got down behind the Count’s back, but I am shocked and thrilled Ramona called her on her bullshit. 

Jesus, Bethenny loves Phillippe.  Is Jason Hoppy the East Coast Slade Smiley?  Is he sincere or did that move-in-together speech feel a little rehearsed and contrived?  Maybe I’m just cynical, but it feels like he’s trying to play white knight.  Without more information, I’m reserving judgment on Hoppy for now. 

WTF is Kelly wearing?  Are there shorts under there?  Why could the Playboy announcement not wait until after lunch?  The Countess is clearly concerned about her steaks.  Was that not the longest, most irrelevant prologue ever?  First off bitch, John Mayer was the big interview in that issue.  Second, Jill and/or the Countess would JUMP at the opportunity to do Playboy if asked.  Third, Noel can’t wait to jerk off at the very notion of Kelly in a MILF spread. 

Who would have thought we’d ever see LuAnn and Ramona fight over Silex?  The childish dispute erupted into a power struggle between the two camps with a bewildered Alex acting as the rope in Jill and Ramona’s tug of war, and Silex could not be more flattered with all the fuss.