Don’t bother buying Brandi Glanville’s book Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders because she really is as insipid and lacking in insight as one might predict. Think I am being harsh? It took her over a decade to figure out Eddie was cheating despite the following trail of philandering clues: 1) All the bills were sent to his parents’ house.
2) He showered before he went to the “gym.”
3) Eddie went out with “the guys” several times a week.
4) He’s an actor.
5) He’s pretty and therefore bombarded with opportunities for strange.
6) According to Brandi, Eddie infected her with an STD, and then tried to convince her she was born with the ailment and was suffering a 35 year symptom onset delay.
Since I took precious time out of my short life to read this mess, here’s a few less publicized morsels from the third-rate tell-all. Brandi claims Eddie gave her HPV. I think that means we can infer both LeAnn Rimes and that Scheana chick probably have the warts too. Brandi describes needing several multiple loop electrosurgical excision procedures to right her wart situation. (I would seriously shank a disease-spreading bitch, and the bitch in this situation is clearly Eddie.)Brandi admits to obsessive face picking and actually went to hypnotherapy to cure her destructive habit. Paradoxically, she doesn’t perceive the Botox and fillers as self-mutilating.Brandi was busted for a DUI and reports the Beverly Hills jail has celebrity weeklies in the cells! How posh.The thing I like most about Brandi is that her Dad was (is?) a pot dealer.Stymied by her toddler when he learned to free himself from his crib, Brandi locked Jake in his room from the outside in at night. If you want to know about Brandi’s body, credit Pilates (and good genes bitch!).Brandi had her vagina surgically tightened and charged it to Eddie. Brandi hates anal, but isn’t above a little girl-on-girl above the waist action to keep things interesting – mostly interesting for the guys she lets watch.