Tag Archives: Les Habitudes

The Real L Word: Phoenix

Mikey continued her quest for a proper location for L.A. Fashion Week after her previous space fell through.  Borrowing from the concept at Bryant Park, she considered tents, but could barely pick her jaw off the ground when she was quoted $15,000.  At the last minute, Mikey closed on White Trash Beautiful, Richie Sambora’s unnecessary contribution to third-rate celebrity fashion lines.  The Bon Jovi money saved the day making Mikey’s tent city a more realistic possibility.Whitney and Scarlett headed up to San Francisco to embrace debauchery and avoid the local L.A. drama.  In a random coincidence, I’ve stayed at the Phoenix in San Francisco, the rocker-favored dive motel turned hipster haunt where Whitney and Scarlett set up camp.  The two used Scarlett’s makeup to play femme-the-butch for Whitney’s visit with go-go dancing Sara at Flourish. Whitney brought Sara back to the Phoenix for an after-hours dip in the pool and subsequently the world’s least sexy shower fuck.  In having experienced the microscopic size of the Phoenix bathrooms, it is truly mystifying how they managed to squeeze Whitney, Sara, and a camera crew to film these two getting it on like two girls gone wild in the filthy shower.The following evening, the girl group enjoyed poolside cocktails (the outdoor bar makes getting any actual sleep at the Phoenix impossible by the way).  After trading girlhood carpet-munching stories, Sara declared that she doesn’t get attached during sex.  By the way Sara, “irregardless” is not a word.  Regardless is a word.  Irrespective is a word.  Pick one; don’t combine.Whitney got a bitter swig of her own brew when confronted with Sara’s detachment.  In a momentary epiphany, Whitney realized that she does the same thing to girls by leaving them hanging.

Nikki and Jill continued to struggle with their wedding plans. They secured Camilla the wedding planner, but neither could stomach the $13,000+ price tag quoted for their custom wedding gowns.  The two began to consider off-the-rack alternatives which lead them to Les Habitudes.  The David Fielden-designed dress fit Nikki beautifully and Jill declared, “You look like a bride!”  With her Mom’s approval, Nikki finalized her decision and purchased the gown.  Jill felt unsure about her selection, so she wisely left empty-handed.  This is not the right dress for her.

Rose attended a lesbian wedding reception with her Father.  When Natalie arrived later, she and Rose immediately erupted into a huge fight.  The two pouted and sulked for the rest of the evening before going to bed angry. In spiteful response her relationship discord, Rose went behind Natalie’s back to rally her friends around an evening of strippers.  Rose is a frat boy trapped in America Ferrera’s body.  Rose tried to front like just because she wasn’t “touching” the nasty strippers that she somehow wasn’t cheating on NatalieRose we see those tittays on your head you grimy lying fratboy bitch.