(This is an unsolicited letter to Tori Spelling. It is full of mean-spirited judgment and opinions and shouldn’t be taken seriously.)
I’m calling bullshit on you True Tori. I don’t believe you didn’t know Dean was cheating. I don’t believe that “Emily Goodhand” is the first and only affair. If “Emily Goodhand” indeed exists, she’s obviously been paid for her contractually obligated silence. I suspect there’s been a series of Goodhands in Dean’s pants.
You boo-fucking-hoo in therapy about wanting Dean to nurture you like a baby. You’re a big girl. You’re just unaccustomed to difficult times because your whole life has been cushioned by money and fame. If I had to deal with your needy princess attitude, I would cheat on you too. Where did you get the misguided notion that you are entitled to a fairy tale when you stole another woman’s husband? He’s a cheater. You’re a cheater. Since you’re both morally lax filthy homewreckers, the demise of your ill-conceived relationship is a surprise to no one (least of all your cast aside ex-spouses).
Mrs. McDermott, you claim you can’t express anger. Please, it’s obvious you are expressing your anger by forcing Dean to participate in a public flogging. You just didn’t suspect the self-righteous masses to throw a few rotten tomatoes at your hypocritical ass too. No one buys your poor, poor, Tori reality show narrative arc. You are not a victim. You made a series of selfish and immature decisions that have landed you in a shitbox. You are the architect of your own misfortune.
Tori, I don’t believe you really had a migraine. Photo-phobia is a common symptom for migraine suffers. When I have a migraine, the room must be pitchblack. You were basking in your hospital bed in full makeup with natural light pouring in from the windows in addition to the Lifetime camera crew’s bright-ass lighting rig. The tide of public opinion has turned so strongly against you that I’m accusing you of scraping the bottom of the pity ploy barrel with a faked health crisis. As an added bonus, the migraine spell conveniently forced Dean to nurture you like a baby.
With regard to your parenting, you should be ashamed. Your own narcissistic desire for fame has clearly usurped the part of your brain and soul that houses your common sense, compassion, self-respect, and maternal instinct. What kind of mother sells her divorce story despite the damage it will cause her offspring? Those kids know everything, TRUST. Thanks to Mom, now the whole mess is saved for posterity in the form of a low-rated Lifetime reality show.
As for the future, Dean’s an opportunist. I don’t think he’s ever cared about anyone but himself. He isn’t going to change. He’s not a good actor even when he’s trying to feign contrition to save his own ass. If you stay together, he will continue to cheat. If you don’t, you’ll be a divorced mom with 4 kids paying alimony to a cheating ex who’s out banging chicks.As my Mother told me often as a child: life is not fair. People have suffered far greater tragedies than this. You’ll survive. Even though you are acting like a pathetic fool, we still all want the best for you. Donna Martin Graduates!
With ♥ even though I’m mean,
p.s. that heart sweater is utterly heinous.