Tag Archives: Marilyn Monroe

air kissing

FRENCH AIR KISSI’m not a huge fan of the air kiss.  To me, it smacks of insincerity, but I’ve accepted it’s part and parcel of a standard greeting for certain people, and therefore cannot be entirely avoided.  Outside of Italy, how am I supposed to know if we air kiss one, two, or three times?  You treble kissers must have strong and nimble necks.  There is one particularly ferocious air kisser, who doesn’t seem to understand the “air” part of air kisser.  On a weekly basis, she plants a fat, glossy, wet smooch on my cheek.  I feel the gooey gloss on my cheek after her lips depart.  This is often before I have to teach class, so I’m always paranoid that I have lip prints on my cheek.  I love her, but too much moisture, hunny.  If we must touch upon greeting socially (which as far as I’m concerned we don’t), I prefer handslap over all other available options.  Obviously, a firm handshake is the only appropriate contact for business situations.  That’s where many of us could use some work, the handshake department.  With some folks, it’s like yanking a sad, little limp dick.HANDSHAKE

November 2014 Horoscopes


Happy Birthday Scorpio!  Enough lurking in the shadows calculating your plan, assert yourself and put your strategy in play.  Enjoy the energetic emphasis on your sign this month and use the focus to make some serious headway on your personal fatty to-do list.  Don’t confuse selfishness with self-prioritizing.  Scorpios think they have great ideas for everybody else’s life, but that ain’t your biznass kid.  Turn that analytic eye into the looking glass and make a change.  Have you been rocking a signature look for eons like your Scorpio sister Anna Wintour?  Well it might just be time to rework that bob, girl.  To paraphrase Diane Von Furstenberg, become the woman you want to be even if you aren’t exactly sure what you want to do.  Craft your appearance and attitude to emit the perception you want to exude.  Scorpio stands to make great professional strides by materializing concrete plans, especially after the 22nd.  Scattered Scorpios pull it together by cutting the bullshit and prioritizing.


November serves Sagittarius by providing a time for reconciliation, healing, and closure.  Theme on forgiveness; mend fences, and clear any lingering tension.  Use this time before your birthday to relax, rest, and restore.  Avoid pressured social situations.  Don’t feel any guilt about your non-committal attitude towards parties and engagements.  Evaluate your eating and overall physical wellness this month.  How do you feel?  What habits are weighing you down, literally and figuratively?  Depression-prone Sags experience a dip in mood and enthusiasm in November. Don’t confuse this totally normal seasonal valley with anything more sinister.  It will pass and soon you’ll be blowing out the candles on your birthday cake.


Capricorns experience a lift of enthusiasm this November.  Others welcome your upbeat spirit at gatherings.  Capricorns make a great first impression around the punch bowl.  Whatever your professional, social, or romantic overtures they will be well-received.  Much of your charm originates in your dry wit which always houses a generous dose of honesty.  Your truth-talking really dampens the panties.  Great sex is yours for the taking.  Mid-month, a wet blanket of a Debbie Downer tries to dim your shine.  Don’t let anyone drag you back into tarpits of pessimism.  Towards the end of November, tuck in for your annual pre-birthday reflection and respite.


Go get it Aquarius!  In November, your vision for long-term professional success matters most to you.  For sure, decide what you want and go after it hard in your Aquarian way, but also clean up the murkiness in your professional relationships.  Folks respond better when they know where they stand with you.  Expect a few and don’t get discouraged by “nos” before you hit that goldmine “yes.”  Work with women you love and respect to get your home in order.  It’s not that men can’t or shouldn’t clean, specifically this a time for your to surround yourself with feminine energy.  Freshen up your situation before the holidays, as you may end up hosting some impromptu gatherings.  All this womanly togetherness has you thinking… about a baby?  How would a child fit (if at all) into the life you’re building?


November will test you to stand up for yourself in a number of ways, Pisces.  Usually so easy-going, asserting yourself can feel downright foreign.  November challenges you to embrace your power without hesitation.  That feeling isn’t paranoia.  Someone is working against you.  Handle that bitch.  Implement simple structure to achieve professional success.  Strengthen your organization muscles.  You wouldn’t mind a trip, would you?  Now that we’re out of Mercury’s retrograde, it’s a less complicated time to travel.  Venture forth with confidence.  With your own ruler Neptune moving out of retrograde, the confusion lifts and you start to see everything more clearly.


In November, you are obsessed with the love of your life, Aries.  Permanent decisions scare you less now.  You consider an engagement or professional merger.  All that work you’ve put in the last year finally blossoms into something tangible and credit-worthy.  Use the accomplishment as a barometer.  Are you proud of what you’ve achieved?  Do your values align with the investment of your energy?  If not, make a change.  You are prone to melancholia this month.  You can wallow in superficial ways for a day or two, and then get on with it.  Gloom doesn’t suit you.  Just in time for Thanksgiving and through most of mid-month, travel appeals to your adventurous streak.  Spend a few days with friends or family and a few days for yourself.


Timely for the Thanksgiving holiday, you feel especially generous this November, Taurus.  You crave partnership, and partnership requires compromise – not exactly your strength.  Strike a balance between give and take.  Coupledom doesn’t require a forfeiture of your personal interests.  When you get in your favorite activities it relieves stress, and you are more fun to be around.  You are not alone in feeling depressed this month; many of your zodiac brethren suffer the same rut.  Experience the dimming, and then get right back to your typically optimistic nature.  Definitely don’t throw your relationship away over a fleeting dark mood.  Reject your tendency towards self-flagellation and self-criticism in favor of compassion.


Get your life in order Gemini!  Organization is your theme this November.  You already have a keen eye for detail, but you get so mired down in the minutia you have trouble moving forward and clearing space.  Changing your ways requires self-discipline, but curbing your self-indulgent habits makes you a better human, so it’s worth a try.  Have you been wrapped in the wish of a person or idea that lives only in your imagination?  The first week of November allows you to put the unrealistic notion to rest and let go.  Gemini prefers solitude over thick crowds in November, but when you are alone you can easily slip into sadness.  Use this time constructively for finishing rather than initiating – you won’t have the ooomf to finish what you start this month.


Your old pals bold and sexy narrate your story in November, Cancer.  Accept every invitation, and enjoy every party.  Laugh loudly and without restraint.  You’ll meet new acquaintances with your friendly and engaging manner.  Tipple a little, but avoid getting drunk.  Not only could it lead to embarrassing (but funny) interludes, the hangovers could lure you into an late autumn depression.  The last few months have served up dramatic change.  Finally, you begin to hit a steady rhythm and can see your path clearly.  A cardinal sign, you’re already a great initiator.  November makes a great time for fresh starts and new projects.


Leo temporarily morphs into Blake Lively this November and cares only for homespun sentiments and nostalgia.  You have the sudden urge to invite folks over for tea and feed them your signature snack.  Welcome this warm and homey side and enjoy relaxed entertaining.  On or near the 6th, a make-or-break moment happens in your career.  You’ll break through or you break out; either way you’ll be a happier Leo.  Zingy for the holidays, everyone welcomes your enthusiastic attitude at family gatherings.  If you are single, there are opportunities for love.  Leos interested in a baby, November is a favorable month for fertility.


Easily bored, Virgo requires intellectual stimulation in November.  Surround yourself with big thinkers and life-long learners.  Your best moments this month are conversations of substance.  Generally speaking, Virgo prefers a full day, so pack as much in as you can, energy withstanding.  A wave of pessimism washes through the zodiac this month and you too could easily get swept away in a sad sea change.  More capable than most at reversing the frowns, lend a listening ear and ease the suffering of those around you.  When it comes to relationships, speak your truth kindly, but hold off on committing.


Financial concerns weigh heavily in November for Libra.  You vacillate between craving luxury and luxuriating in savings.  Feelings of depression, shame, and fear spring up around the topic of money.  You are the sign of balance, so spend a little, save a little.  Follow the advice of wise investors that you trust.  November heightens senses and experiences.  Food tastes better.  Sex goes deeper.  It’s not your usual approach to indulge, but when the going is good, why not?  Share your ideas and speak freely.  Direct and unequivocal communication plays an important part in the latter part of the month.  Remember that indecision is unattractive.



Decent Deals

I trust you’ve kept your head above the recent flood of commercialism.  Now that the high waters have begun to recede, some really good bargains are surfacing.  This is a very opportune time to pick up a fresh new coat at a deep discount.  Avoid baby doll styles which are done, and invest in a belted style to carry you through next winter and beyond.

Chunky knits aren’t going anywhere.  Fair Isle was the major pattern statement this season for both sexes.  However, if you plan to invest serious money, an amazing solid color won’t look tired after a couple seasons.

An interesting pair of boots will refresh your look through spring.  Boots with opaque tights is the warm way to rock dresses in the winter.  You’ll stand out against the sea of boring pants.

Wanna dip your toe into the prestige pond?  Stores slash prices on gift sets after the holidays, and this provides the perfect opportunity to try several products from one brand.  Often a clearance gift set costs the same or less than a single full-priced item.  Caution, check product sizes: some sets contain a full-sized collection and others dwarfed versions.

Happy Birthday Ms. Monroe!