I’m not a huge fan of the air kiss. To me, it smacks of insincerity, but I’ve accepted it’s part and parcel of a standard greeting for certain people, and therefore cannot be entirely avoided. Outside of Italy, how am I supposed to know if we air kiss one, two, or three times? You treble kissers must have strong and nimble necks. There is one particularly ferocious air kisser, who doesn’t seem to understand the “air” part of air kisser. On a weekly basis, she plants a fat, glossy, wet smooch on my cheek. I feel the gooey gloss on my cheek after her lips depart. This is often before I have to teach class, so I’m always paranoid that I have lip prints on my cheek. I love her, but too much moisture, hunny. If we must touch upon greeting socially (which as far as I’m concerned we don’t), I prefer handslap over all other available options. Obviously, a firm handshake is the only appropriate contact for business situations. That’s where many of us could use some work, the handshake department. With some folks, it’s like yanking a sad, little limp dick.
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