Tag Archives: men

only as faithful as his opportunities

DOGS LOVE YOGAAs many of you know, I’m a yoga teacher.  Whatever, roll your eyes.   This one dude has been sporadically coming to my class for a couple years.  He’s nice enough, I guess; albeit a little clingy.  He’s always trying to hug.  (Stop hugging your yoga teacher.  We don’t want to hug everybody.)  Recently, he’s been pressing me to have an “evening tea with him.”  He’s married and his wife is out of the country on the front side of relocating the family.  So the wife takes the kids to Europe to get settled, and the chubby little skeeze of a husband hits on his yoga teacher.  Fucking Gross.  I tried to just dust him off, but he keeps coming back with pressured persistence.  Asshole, I’m not going to participate in your piggish fuckery.  I am not going to carry on with you in a way that disrespects your wife.  I decline to create the appearance of impropriety or compromise my character, dickwad  Do not be naively drawn into these nefarious shenanigans under false pretenses, folks.  He’s really trying to fuck. They’re always trying to fuck. GWEN

man buns

DREADY MAN BUNDready Man Bun.MAN TOP KNOTMan Bun Top Knot.MAN BUN PROFILEMan Bun Twist.MESSY MAN BUNMessy Man Bun.MAN BUN BLONDMan Bun Blond.MAN BUN NAPEMan Bun Nape.GREASY MAN BUNGreasy Man Bun.MAN BUN BEARDBearded Man Bun.MAN BUN BEHINDMan Bun Behind.

Menswear Spring 2015: Ann Demeulemeester

ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 1 ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 2 ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 3 ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 4 ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 5 ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 6 ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 7 ANN DEMEULEMEESTER MENSWEAR SPRING 2015 8

Menswear Spring 2015: Tom Ford

TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 3TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 1TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 5TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 9TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 2 TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 4TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 7TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 6TOM FORD MENSWEAR 2015 8

Most Annoying

LAUREN CONRADIt is most annoying when I am making plans with a friend and she frames the agenda around her boyfriend’s needs.  “My boyfriend wants to stay here.” or “I can’t.  My boyfriend’s work schedule changed.”  I get partnership, responsibility sharing and whatnot, but I don’t give a fuck about your boyfriend’s preferences.  I’m friends with you and not your boyfriend.  Chances are I’ve known you longer than you’ve known your boyfriend.  I was here before your boyfriend.  I will be here long after your boyfriend is gone.  Please remember that truth when you dick me to swing off your boyfriend’s nutsack.  Furthermore, your boyfriend would find you a lot more interesting if you had your own life and exercised a modicum of independence.NUTSACK

I Know It’s Not Right When…

SODA SHOP DATEHe has to google words I use in text messages.  You don’t know what auspicious means?

Auspicious: showing or suggesting that future success is likely.

He spends three dates talking exclusively about himself and then says “I can’t wait to learn everything about you.”BAD DATE CARTOON

I hate his shoes.hermes brown suedeHe cares more about being perceived as cool than he does about my feelings.ONJ AND JOHN TRAVOLTA GREASE

KELLY LE BROCKMy Kelly LeBrock and James Spader references sailed over his thinning hair.JAMES SPADER MANNEQUIN

 

Fall 2014 Menswear: Pringle of Scotland

PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 1PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 2PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 3PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 4PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 5PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 6PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 7PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 8PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 9PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014 10PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND MENSWEAR FALL 2014

peen

DUDE'S PEENWarning internet daters!  Here’s what happens when you send my friend a dick pic.  She generously shares it with me, and I in turn share it with my faithful readers.  Isn’t it bad enough that those predatory online dating sites mine your personal information and sell it off to any interested party?  Oh, you didn’t know that?  Yes Doves, all that delicate intel included in your application profile – your STD status, whether you are a drug user, whether you’re gay or straight – companies harvest that private information and use it for marketing purposes and Lord knows what else.  Now back to the peen.  What do you think?  I sense its yearning. DUDE HOLDS PEEN

guys

TRASH LINER OBSESSION

Guys obsess over pushing out every last gasp of air between the trash can and the liner.

SINDY MARTINGuys back into parking spaces.DOUCHE PLEASEGuys nudge their junk in public. AIRPLANE ARMRESTGuys take the armrest.  HOT SAUCEGuys love hot sauce. GUYS