Dudes, enough with the argyle sweaters.  Every holiday party lately looks like an argyle explosion.  Blame the Banana Republic clearance rack.  A perfectly-tailored suit is always a nice choice.  Werk a bow tie to catch ‘em by surprise.  Steam or iron — wrinkles ain’t cute at a formal function ya’ll.Ladies, many of you will gravitate towards some variation on the ubiquitous sparkle.  I’m not placing an outright fatwa on sparkle because when used appropriately it can be a powerful way to amp an ensemble.  However, keep in mind shine accentuates.  If your body ain’t right, a full sequined look will not only add bulk, but draw attention to every lump.  Use sparkle sparingly.Select a look that errs on the side of classic and conservative.  Think Betty Draper not JWoww.  If a fleeting thought enters your head that your dress is too short, your cleavage too deep, or your pants too tight, honor that voice, and for the love of Jesus on his birthday change your fucking clothes.  Better to dress comfortably and appropriately than look like you suffer from the worst faux pas of all – poor judgment.  Also, I’m sick of this pretty princess curling iron shit.  Try a new ‘do this year.  This look is so over.