Sidelining fashion this week, Rachel focused on hosting her entire family for a Passover Seder dinner. Having never cooked a meal before, Rachel informed Rodger he would be hitting Bristol Farms with her later. Like all recent conversations between these two, this one spiraled into baby talk with Rachel promising to be in the delivery room by this time next year in her black vintage cashmere Chanel cape-robe.Team Zoe met up with comic Amy Phillips to film a “viral video” for The Rachel Zoe Report. Rodger tried to run the meeting, but ended up chucking a pen across the table at Rachel when she failed to give him her full attention.Rachel and Rodger continued to criticize, degrade, and humiliate one another publicly, thereby breaking one of the cardinal rules of successful relationship preservation: only fight in private. After the extremely tense and unfunny shoot concluded, Rachel and Rodger took their vitriol to the street where they got noticeably loud on the sidewalk.Next, Beau Garrett showed up with her dog to get looks for the international up-fronts and Kalamity premiere. Leave your fucking dog at home! The utter hubris of risking dog piss on Dior makes me hate this wooky-eyed bitch from the get.Team Zoe and Beau selected three looks: a cute Diane von Furstenberg, a boring blue Lela Rose, and a random long black Malandrino. After searching far and wide, not a single photo of the Z-list Garrett in any of these looks could be found. Doesn’t mean she didn’t wear them, just means she’s not worth photographing.Rachel delegated styling the Zico coconut water Molly Sims job to Brad and Jordan, so she could concentrate on Passover dinner. Sidenote: enough with the disgusting fucking coconut water.Since Rachel wouldn’t be micro-managing, Brad decided he would like to keep the selection tight and not take every rack to the shoot. This strategy totally blew up in his face when he arrived and was informed of an entirely different vision for the campaign.Rather than just rolling with the changes, Brad argued with the photographer over wardrobe. He tried to hide his humiliation with defensiveness, but just ended up looking flustered and unprofessional.Molly Sims showed up looking like she’d been pulled out of a drain, and Brad looked slightly panicked. Ultimately, an intern returned with some additional white exercise choices. You would think as “Style Director” Brad would know that in the world of fashion, options are everything.Meanwhile, Rachel and Rodger met up with Marisa at Bristol Farms to shop for the Seder. Rachel wandered from aisle to aisle, infuriating an irritated Rodger.Back in the kitchen, Joey and Rachel worried whether the turkey would have “hair” on it. Marisa, sick of hearing Rachel’s idiotic ramblings, took over and materialized dinner. Rachel barely managed to execute a salad before her family arrived.Rachel’s agent brought his baby to the Seder, and Rodger nearly melted at the sight of Rachel with child.During a break from kitchen duty, Rachel and Joey talked reproduction on the porch. Rachel tried to explain that to her, clothing and bags are a reasonable substitute for a baby.Rachel confessed her anxiety over having waited so long to get pregnant and her doubts of carrying a baby to term. She worried that she lacked the physical and emotional strength to endure pregnancy. Her articulation of these deeply personal fears provided a glimpse into a more authentic, sincere, less-superficial Rachel.
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