Tag Archives: Natasha Poly

SPRING 2012 RTW: more glorious gownage

Oscar de la RentaHaider AckermannAlberta FerrettiBadgley MischkaMartin GrantAzzaroJohn GallianoChristian DiorJ MendelJulien MacDonaldDoo.RiPaco RabanneGilesRalph LaurenSophie ThealletZac PosenVionnetReem Acra

The Rachel Zoe Project: King McQueen

Across the coast in NYC, Rachel’s first stop was L.A.M.B for a little pow-wow with Gwen StefaniZoe undulated over the clothes, but Gwen maintained her distance and even gave a little cut eye.  Stefani modeled this dope coat.  L.A.M.B. is okay except for their tendency to recapitulate the same trends: plaid, leather, zoot suit.  Also, you really need to be at least 5’7″ to wear her wide leg pants or risk drowning.After her meeting with Gwen, Rachel got a call from Naomi Campbell who requested that she pull 90-100 looks for Fashion for Relief Haiti scheduled to open Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week 72 hours later.  Despite the short-notice, Rachel of course agreed – nobody says no to Mz. Campbell.The huge project meant Brad had to hop the first flight to NYC to help Rachel throw together the benefit.  Through flurries, Rachel arrived at the Haiti for Relief production offices and surveyed the pitiful clothing selection. The snowy weather caused the whole city to grind to a halt, and the samples weren’t exactly pouring in.  Brad pled, begged, and blackberried every contact he had in the industry with virtually no results.  Rachel tried to put together outfits with the meager pickings, but without accessories, shoes, or a wide variety of clothes, the looks were more Filene’s Basement than Fendi.Brad’s frustrating lack of urgency panicked Rachel even further.  Nobody wants to be at the receiving end of Naomi Campbell’s dragon fire, and Rachel should be skerred since Naomi could crack her open like crème brûlée.

Rachel complained to Brad about the lack of clothes, and in turn Brad kvetched to the others about being on Rachel’s shit list.  A minion asked Brad if he’d contacted Jimmy Choo, and he responded, “Let’s do Choo!”  No fucking shit dumbass.  You’ve been sitting around all fucking day creasing your brow and whining about not having shoes, and it didn’t occur to you to call Jimmy Fucking ChooBrad is officially useless.Naomi rolled in and doled out “hellos” mistakenly calling Brad “Brian,” as he turned bright red with embarrassment and fear.  Naomi surveyed the scene and immediately freaked out at the shortage.  Brad tried to serve Naomi excuses, but she wasn’t having it, arguing he should have brought any problems to her attention sooner.  Duck Brad!Overnight, the news of Alexander McQueen’s untimely demise broke, and this cast a dark shadow over all of fashion week.  To honor him, Naomi planned to add a small McQueen tribute to the end of the Fashion for Relief runway show.One of the models, Ralph Plaisimond, a Haitian, was in the country during the earthquake.  As he told of his experience, Rachel couldn’t cope with anything beyond the superficial, so she departed to self-soothe in the other room.  Proving once again white people suck, Rachel launched into a racist diatribe claiming she’s always been “obsessed” with Haitians (like Haitians are the new must-have Chanel bag), before turning to Brad and pawing a rack bragging, “they are all Giamba…”The next day, looks started pouring in.  This was more likely a result of Naomi connections than Brad’s hustle, but either way the influx saved Brad’s ass.

On the morning of the show, Rachel hurried to order the looks and finish the fittings while Brad wandered around aimlessly, failing to take charge of the chaos backstage.  Despite the general disorganization, the models managed to execute the extremely complicated task of getting dressed and walking down the runway.  In the end, the show came together and was surprisingly not a total clusterfuck.The show closed with a tribute to King McQueen where everyone choked up at the loss of a true genius.  The void he left will never be filled.  We love and admire you always Alexander.

Raven-haired Renaissance

2010, the year of the chocolate tressed chicas.  Deep, dusky brunette never looked more refreshing.  This is no time for middle of the road ladies: go dark or go home.

Tara Gill

Nastasia Ohl

Shu Pei Qin

Bruna Tenorio

Blondes, you too can shine.  This season ice baby blonde shades give good glow.

Ginta Lapina

Natasha Poly