Tag Archives: Neil Patrick Harris

I Can’t Hear You Bitch

What’s with the quiet talkers?  Am I just listening to my music too loud, or are bitches basically whispering?  There’s a mediocre vegetarian restaurant nearby staffed by limp, greasy hipsters.  The tribe Deschanel waitresses speak in such hushed and dulcet tones you’d think they were confessing they’ve contracted the latest hipster herp and not taking a routine drink order in a packed restaurant.  I’m not fan of loud talkers.  I will actually urge my companions to keep it down in public if they get overly amped, but I also think this whispering trend is just another way of lessening oneself.  Would it kill a bitch to speak clearly and directly? Besides, making me respond “what?” to everything you say is tedious for us both.  Own your power and speak up bitch.  Dampening yourself to seem cool is pathetic and antiquated. 

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: put the phucking phone down

Folks have been seriously out of control with the cell phones for awhile now.  Chatting in the car, texting on the train, checking voicemail at lunch, the electronic leash has almost completely choked out authentic face to face communication.  Let’s agree the phone should never sit on the table or on your lap during a meal.  Who are you?  Doogie Fucking Howser, M.D.?  You must receive every communication instantaneously?Why not honor the person who is actually in front of you by turning the phone off?  Less accessibility = more mystery, so rethink the compulsive availability and occasionally please put the fucking phone down.