Tag Archives: Nicki Minaj

Sunday with Lower Butt Cleavage

GRAMMY 2012: whitney’s wake

The best of the night were all appropriately in black.  Rihanna plunged in the front and sloped low in the back in this major ArmaniGwyneth repped her inner-circle in Stella McCartney.  From the neck down Gwyneth looks amazing, but she’s looking a little inflamed in the face.  Bad bronzer or bad eight ball?  You decide.  Adele turned it out in Armani.  We sure as fuck knew she wouldn’t wear Chanel after Karl’s latest round of bad Grandpa fat comments.Not all the black was good; Julianne Hough wasted her crazy toned body in this unflattering and boring Kaufmanfranco.Bruno Mars gave a little ankle in this fashion-forward Thom Browne look.  Not everyone will get it, but I appreciate the effort. Saggy tits.  That’s the first thing that comes to mind when I see Katy Perry in this Elie Saab gown.  The sophomoric blue hair and the pastel Tinkerbell gown are enough to induce the heaves.  This girl cannot sing, she cannot dress, and therefore I have no use for her.  No use at all.  Good day Katy Perry.  I said good day.And the “desperately seeking attention” award goes to….miz Minaj.  She has talent, so why won’t she lead with it?  It’s Versace by the way.  The cape not the bishop. Let’s work our way through the “irrelevant in white” category.  Kathy Griffin wore Michael Kors rather well.  Why is it when she looks better she’s less funny?Kate Beckinsale usually shows up to these events in overblown ball gowns, so this Zuhair Murad is actually a surprisingly appropriate choice for her.  She still can’t ditch the pageant hair, but baby steps are still progress.  Paris Hilton wore a well-tailored Basil Soda.  I’m not on fire for the white and gold combo.  She looks better than usual, but a skosh overdressed.Robyn, L.A. doesn’t do the whole quirky Nordic thing.  Just ask Bjork.  This whole look is an unmitigated hell no. One of the few pops of color, Fergie in Jean Paul Gaultier; I can feel how much she desperately wants our approval, but I must withhold it.  Adam Levine doing his best Scott Disick.  Between Scott and Adam, who do you think gets called “douche” more often to his face?Taylor Swift is like the Nicole Kidman of the under-25 set.  This over-serious frock is a Zuhair Murad creation.

Coachella Crash Course: 4 for Friday

Looking forward to seeing First Aid Kit.  Have you heard their album The Lion’s Roar? Over the last year, Azealia Banks has bent an ear or two.  Can she take down Nicki?  Preview “212” and “Liqourice.”

Spin Childish Gambino’s latest Camp.

Yeah, yeah, Holocene, survey the full Bon Iver picture with Vernon’s equally atmospheric earlier work For Emma, Forever Ago.

A Moment with Madge

Did you happen to catch the fleeting clip of Madonna’s new video Give Me All Your Luvin embedded into American Idol’s commercial break last night?  If not, the video is widely available online now.  It is rumored she’ll debut the track at the Super Bowl.  Thoughts?  The song was a bit of a throwback to her earlier work with a touch of Hollaback-girl era Stefani (a comparison Madge will loathe).Nicki left her attitude behind and brought her enthusiasm and tatas instead.  M.I.A. on the other hand looked a little ashamed to be there in a cheerleading uniform.  Some of us haven’t forgotten Toni Basil, okay.

Good wall walk sequence though. 

VMAjor Fashion Letdown

Love Adele, but this boring-ass dress explains why she’s often photographed from the shoulders up. Fucking gross yo.  Beyoncé does her bun in the oven pose in tangerine Lanvin.  I’m sure Gwyneth is thrilled at the prospect of sharing her homemade organic baby food recipes.Miley Cyrus in Cavalli and Selena Gomez in Julien Macdonald, these two twats look 35.

Justin Beiber is the only young lady who dressed her age.

You can take the whores out of the Shore, but not the Shore out of these whores.Jojo you know it’s just a little too late…

All that auditing has dulled her taste in clothes.  Katie dressed like she was attending a parent-teacher conference instead of the VMAs.  The awkward stance and hideous booties do nothing to redeem the look.  The fact that Pete Wentz topped the best dress should give you an indication of the evening’s style caliber. Wasn’t wowed by Mizz Saldana in a embellished LBD by Barbara Bui, but I’ll still probably see her new movie ColombianaFor Katy Perry life is a costume party rather than a fashion show.  Here she channeled her “happy endings” look.

This is not an appropriate response to a cold sore Nicki.

More of the same from Miss Piggy’s Armenian cousin who always serves too much titty, too much belly, and too much hair.  

Sunday with Laurieann Gibson

GRAMMY 2011 FASHION

Of everyone, Keri Hilson turned it out best and most appropriately in Basil Soda. Predictably, metallic mania saturated the 2011 Grammy red carpet.  JLo in Emilio Pucci, and look at little Snooks werking an exaggerated shoulder. Selena Gomez looked ten years older in J MendelHeidi Klum improved over her last dress disaster with this Julien MacDonald. Kim Kardashian gambled on titty tape in Kaufmanfranco, Miley in Cavalli, and Rimes in Reem Acra. JHud channeled Naomi in Versace.  She’d be a contender for best dressed if the skirt had reached the floor.  From the waist down, the dress is reading budget. Ciara showed almost everything in Emilio Pucci.  Wrong shoes girl. Minaj in Givenchy, Gaga in Hussien Chalayan, and (to some extent) Rihanna in Gaultier served avant-garde, but their attempts at fashion rebellion felt a bit contrived. Florence Welch broke out the new Givenchy hot off the runway.  Katy Perry dug up her Halloween faerie costume from 2001.  Wings Katy, really?  That abomination is fucking Armani yo!Don’t love the dress, but overall, this is a vast improvement for Nicole Kidman who has been looking like dookie lately.  Natasha Bedingfield and Julianne Hough also donned florals and patterns.

vh1 Divas: Salute to the Troops

I know ya’ll watched the vh1 Divas: Salute to the Troops last night.

Are we still pretending that Katy Perry can sing?  (Furthermore, are we still pretending that RB exercises matrimonial fidelity despite persistent rumors to the contrary?)  After a cute Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy moment, vocals heavily supported by Hilson and Nettles, Perry turned out a tired-ass song, basic choreo, and an embarrassing harness glitch.  Peddle your low rent, tit-jiggling, cheesecake shtick elsewhere Perry.

Ann and Nancy Wilson murdered Crazy and showed these young-ass bitches how it’s done.  Slow your roll Grace Potter, aka, Heidi Klum circa 2008.  You can sing, but if Ohh La La is lyrically your best, there’s ample room for improvement.My girl Minaj looked super nervous.  I think she was struggling with her Louboutins.  Not sure why Right Thru Me is the song she’s decided to clean up and take live.  It is nowhere near the best track on Pink Friday, a record that grows on me more and more with each listen.  Vocally, she put tone-deaf Katy Perry to shame on Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Paramore played via satellite from Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, and as usual Hayley Williams shows a lot of promise (though clearly not in the realm of fashion, gurl screams Franklin, TN).  Go on and judge, but nothing holds a candle to Misery Business.  Bonus points for making me momentarily not hate that Foo Fighters song.

Bossed Up

“When I am assertive, I’m a bitch.  When a man is assertive, he’s a boss.  He bossed up.  No negative connotation behind bossed up, but lots of negative connotation behind being a bitch.”  - Nicki Minaj