Tag Archives: Nicole Richie

February 2014 Horoscopes

AquariusCHRISTOPHER GUEST AND JAMIE LEE

Happy Birthday Aquarius!  The sun beams down on you from above, so you better make sure you look good!  Get right in February with a personal spruce.  Complete important communications and contracts during the first week of the month before Mercury goes retrograde the sixth through the twenty-eighth.  Rather than grandstanding during your birthday acceptance speech, turn those proclamations into appreciativeness.  As for Valentine’s Day, a full moon illuminates your house of commitment.  Engagement anyone?  Single?  This month could bring a true partner.  Post-Valentine’s Day it’s time to buckle down and get back to work.  This industriousness continues for the next month during which your main priorities are productivity and performance.  Now is an excellent time to evaluate whether everything in your life is rising up to meet you.  Take extra good care of yourself as your immunity is compromised and you are susceptible to stress and illness.  Step back and engage your expansive world view to see that all these little hassles are ultimately insignificant.

Pisces

CHRIS AND GWYNETH

Let go Pisces!   Now is the time to surrender to the intense fatigue you’re experiencing.  Hibernate and look back on the last year before your birthday celebrations commence.  Are there things left undone that you’ve been needling yourself to finish?  When you are out and about, your interactions with others won’t feel quite right.  Your first impression won’t be your best.  With Mercury in retrograde in Pisces until the twelfth, resist radical change in any department.  State any instructions clearly and succinctly even if it feels tedious, it will save you much disappointment later.  In your friendship tribe, don’t repeat anything you don’t want repeated.  If you spread gossip, you’ll be hunted down and confronted.  Others will try to shift the blame your way.

AriesVICTORIA AND DAVID

Thank goodness for Aries in February because you coax the hibernators to party.  This socializing has a side order of practicality attached since a few of these associations prove influential.  February sends Mercury back into retrograde and you know what that means: communication breakdown, technological glitches, and the resurfacing of contacts from your past.  February presents a superb opportunity to finally close the trap door to your heart’s ancient pain.  Recognize this pain as a pathological block to your evolution.  The remainder of the month requires a great deal of collaboration.  Working with others ain’t easy, Aries.  Expect the standard interpersonal drama, then add some extra hatery for a clearer picture of the anticipated group dynamic.  Stay far, far away from the meaningless squabbles.  Continue to clearly and patiently reiterate your expectations.  So you want to know about Valentine’s Day, huh?  Unattached Aries, scroll down your contacts list until a spark flies off an old friend.  Committed Aries, go ballsdeep in the romance department – spare no cliché or expense.

Taurus

VINCENT AND ALEXIS

Charged with ambition and a new moon in your career sector, February sets forth a six month strategy for achieving major milestones, Taurus.  Mercury’s retrograde makes this a miserable time for travel, technology, and clarity.  Expect conflict to arise from the confusion.  If things get heated, just withdraw and come back later when the energy is more conducive to resolution.  Use the thrust of Mercury’s backspin to – rearrange, edit, review, and reassess.  Your heart and home are lit from within this Valentine’s Day.  Stay in and nest.  Enjoy entertaining family and friends.  The last third of the month Taurus gets more interested in socializing.  Particularly adept at rounding folks up on social media, use your web reach to gather your people into one big lovefest.  Watch out for untrustworthy motivations and remain skeptical.  Stay off the booze.

Gemini

SARKOZY AND OLSEN

February is about big thinking Gemini – an expansion and broadening of your world view.  Whether it’s travel, study, business, or philanthropy, Gemini wants to stretch the boundaries of your current life.  With your ruler Mercury retrograde in Pisces, not all your energy will be forward moving, especially with regard to career.  Finish what is left undone.  Guard against saboteurs.  Minimize distractions.  Later this month, long term professional goals come into focus.  Priorities become clearer.  The last week of the month expect some relationship drama.  As your confidence grows, so does conflict.  Fights erupt over sex, money, and jealousy.  Your special someone baits you repeatedly in an effort to get you to show that you care.  You respond with emotional detachment.  Happy Valentine’s Day Gemini.

Cancer

WENDY WILLIAMS KEVIN HUNTERFebruary is the time for some serious self-work.  Some Cancers are so emotionally overloaded that you have to insulate in various (often destructive) ways from your own feelings.  Now is the time to face your emotions, stare yourself down, and finally get a handle on your internal world.  Consider this full-on permission to feel it all.  Cancer exudes sexuality this February which coincides nicely with Valentine’s Day; the uptick in clinginess and jealously, not so much.  Expect some tension with your partner when you assert your own needs.  No legitimate reason to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the relationship except you secretly enjoy the control you assert over the arrangement.  Ultimately, neither of you will benefit from such an imbalanced power dynamic.  With Mercury in retrograde in your travel house, best to just stay put unless a trip proves absolutely necessary.  This retrograde also means you might piss people off with a condescending comment, so spend more time listening than talking.  February’s flush with cash, but save instead of spend.

Leo

IMAN AND DAVID BOWIE

Lucky Leo, the stars align for love and partnership in February.  Thriving in collaboration, you generously give and thereby receive in return.  February softens your ego and need for attention allowing you to temporarily share shine with others.  Finances serve as potential conflict hotspots this month.  Shelve any non-urgent money talks.  With Mercury retrograde in Aquarius, imbalances will become apparent and a need for fairness kicks in hard.  Let everyone take the time they need without bullying them into your terms.  Plan a big, confident debut for Valentine’s Day.  After the amorous celebrations wind down, recharge at home with a cuddle on the sofa.  Lions need privacy too, especially in February.  Spend extra time in bed catching up on sleep and sipping on nourishing soups as Leo suffers compromised immunity this month.  In addition, the stress of a betrayal robs you of energy.

Virgo NATE BERKUS JEREMIAH BRENT

Ready, set, organize Virgo!  You are motivated with lists, plans, and goals this February, particularly in the areas of health and fitness.  Quiet the chaos and return to order, and start with your own body Virgo.  Mercury’s retrograde could strain relationships or cause you to overlook critical details.  Review documents thoroughly and excise unnecessary stress.  Valentine’s Day presents a make or break epiphany moment for your relationship.  In the clear light of the full moon you see once and for all whether you can make a go of it with your sweetheart.  If it is time to go, you’ll know.  Distrust permeates all your relationships this month.  Others perceive your concern as prying.  Proceed cautiously; if at all.  All this volatility can easily take you off center.  Take whatever measures necessary to get back to yourself.

Libra

JOEL AND NICOLE

This February, get creative with that legendary Libran beauty and amplify your sex appeal.  Enjoy glamorous evenings flirting, but expect of a few of those coquettish comments to land unintended.  Your intense desire for attention could spiral into drama if you don’t channel it into more constructive endeavors.  Display your creative gifts and receive the right kind of attention.  Don’t forget your friends on Valentine’s Day.  For some of you February means the conception of a baby as you are especially fertile, even if communication with your partner is somewhat strained.  You don’t need to talk to fuck.  Mercury’s retrograde means disorganization and scheduling chaos for Libra.  You may also get a little lax in your wellness maintenance.  The demands of work and home ram up against each other.  Another woman in your family hits a nerve with her comments about the way you distribute your resources and handle your personal biznass.  How will you respond to the dig?

Scorpio

PHAEDRA AND APOLLO

Cozying up at home with family feels right in February, Scorpio.  Root down in solitude and pampering self-care.  Mercury’s retrograde means this is a shitty time to travel, so even if you are dying to flee to sunnier latitudes doing so between the sixth and the twenty-eighth may mean the trip will be more stressful than relaxing.  Furthermore, since the retrograde thins your already transparent tact, spare us all your biting comments by staying home alone.  While you are there, feel free to spruce, but hold off on major makeovers.  Now is not the time.  Valentine’s Day will be more about your professional success than your personal life.  What a nice opportunity to champion your own accomplishments for once.  Towards the end of the month, you are ready to get cute and get out there again.  Do more than contemplate taking risks, actually take them.

SagittariusJULIANNE AND BART

You have much to say this February, Sag.  Make lots of little dates in your neighborhood to catch up with friends and family so you chat everybody’s ear off.  You will feel an almost compulsive need to explain yourself, but with Mercury’s retrograde your message will likely get lost in translation no matter how many times you repeat it.  More than a few squabbles could erupt in your already tense household when your mindlessness ruins something important.  Money and the division of responsibilities also become hot button issues.  Slow down and take care to avoid accidents.  Speak your truth on Valentine’s Day.  It’s time to lay your cards on the candlelit table, Sag.  The latter part of the month stay home with your favorite women and talk about your feelings.  These ladies can help you regroup from your emotional frazzle.

Capricorn

KATE AND JAMIE

Capricorn calms down in February after a flurry of fresh energy at the start of the year.  Return to work, money, and stability, which is the nest where you feel most comfortable.  Back up anything electronic, as Mercury in retrograde means lost data.  In general, February is a good time to dial back on the communication overload – put the phone down, turn the computer off, silence your television.  Potential fiscal chaos ensues this month.  Spend less and carefully review accounts.  You may receive a windfall.  Valentine’s Day brings unexpected depth of feeling and intimacy.  Did you even know that you felt this way?  Enjoy the spark.  Use your creative aptitude to express your feelings in song or art.  Towards the end of the month some interesting new folks come into your life with some fascinating stories.  Listen carefully.

MET GALA 2013: punc as phuc

Most people won’t get it, but Anja Rubik (in Anthony Vacarello) managed what many could not at the 2013 Met Gala.  The model executed on the punk theme without falling into some of the most common sartorial traps of the evening (don’t worry, we’ll get there).  The shape, color, and fabric reference punk while remaining high fashion.  If this puresex look isn’t totally fuckable, you tell me what is?  Let’s just get this GOOP out of the way right now before this candy-coated bitch drives me to distraction.  I thought Paltrow swore off pink gowns after that cloying Ralph Lauren she donned for her Oscar win.  Is she fucking with us?  I loathe this Valentino Couture gown on so many levels I can only assume she chose it as her hate campaign uniform.  Nude illusion, really girl?  Pink shiny too short long sleeves?  What?  A puddle of bridesmaid satin pink?  Incomprehensible.  How is she going to sell those expensive gym memberships when the skinny bitch actually looks chubby (gasp!)?Who the fuck did Kanye blow to get Kim in this year?  So this florabomination is courtesy of Riccardo Tisci.  I’m not sure we can blame him.  All I can focus on is her Miss Piggy foot.  Poor pregnant Kim is puffed up painfully and spilling over the edge of that shoe.  The gloves are totally freaking me out.  Hand camo.  Cameron Diaz served up a spiky-waisted Stella McCartney in a bold blue cape style.  I dislike how this frock is both droopy and restrictive. After all that Hathaway drama at the Oscars, Amanda drew upon all her Givenchy spokesbitch connections to score this archive gown.  I think it is fucking genius. Suck it Anne! In Valentino, Anne Hathaway’s boobs channeled Madonna’s titties from the Express Yourself video, right?  Do we like Annie as a blonde?  I don’t hate it, but the brassy color is undoubtedly aging. Christina Ricci knocked on the door of the right fashion house – Vivienne Westwood – for a post-punk glam moment, but it looks like she got tangled up in the tartan.  I do love the orange lip and fishnets.   Ashley Olsen robbed a Palm Beach Socialite of her vintage Christian Dior Couture for her sherbet sparkling Met moment.  In keeping with her body dismorphic trademark style, Mary-Kate wore Chanel and Balmain that was five sizes too big for her. I get the impression Allison Williams takes herself way too seriously.  She smacks of try.  The heinous piecemeal gown is Altuzarra.Anna Wintour stuck with sequined floral Chanel, and Bee wore Dior.  Can’t say I’m particularly wowed by the wicked stepsisters.Does anyone wear clothes better and with more enthusiasm than SJP?  Love her Giles Deacon gown and Phillip Treacy headpiece. Topshop dressed Nicole Richie.  The overall styling isn’t that flattering, but I’m still oddly attracted to her white hair.  Punk Glam Granny?Opa!  Here comes the flaming cheese – Beyoncé in Givenchy.Uma Thurman looked absolutely snatched in this leafy Zac Posen.  What did she do to her face?Stella McCartney must be best friends with Liberty Ross because this outfit is obviously a revenge burn on Kristen Stewart.  Is she smuggling honey-baked ham in there?I’ve been loving me some Rita Ora lately.  She not only successfully fucked-over that whiny Rob Kardashian, she looks super fresh in this white Thakoon.Emma Watson worked her sexy, but she remained eternally adorable and demure in this Prabal Gurung.  She’s our modern day Audrey.  Miley really went for it in Marc Jacobs and it worked.  Hate to admit she’s been serving something savory lately.  Applause. Compare Miley to her contemporary Taylor Swift who looks about 53 in this old lady J. Mendel number.Speaking of 53, Madonna came in her Givenchy costume.  For a woman who hates her thighs, she sure is accentuating them in this fussy get-up.  You could bounce a quarter off that face (and ass!). Dakota Fanning looked super cute in her Rodarte.  Even though this look was understated compared to most, the simple and sweet styling stood out from the crowd. Here is Lena Dunham in Erdem with Erdem.  The makeup is the best ever for her. Jessica Alba belongs on a Maxim list and nowhere else.  Seriously, who wears Tory Burch to a punk themed gala?  Sheesh.  Why don’t you just wear Lilly Pulitizer bitch?  Carey Mulligan is everything in Balenciaga.  Die for the safety pin.  It isn’t showy, but it doesn’t need to be.  Fucking chic.Lopez put a little leopard on it in Michael Kors.  The girl gives good face, and I love the unusual hair Jen!  Bonus points for not letting the cabana boy ruin the shot. May we all be this ravishing at her age.  Diane von Furstenberg rolled in as a disco-dipped Mrs. Roper.  

Calm down Gisele.  (From what I hear Cara brought the eight-ball).

Golden Globes 2013:…and the Award Goes to…

Salma Hayek in Gucci for the Best Bluish Black.  She has a certain carefree sparkle only a billion dollars can buy.  Nicole Richie in Naeem Khan for best Palm Beach Housewife.  Is this bitch 74?  G-jus. Amanda Seyfried in Givenchy for most Unseasonably Springy.  I should hate this doily shit, but I don’t. Claire Danes in red Versace for best Post Baby Body Bounce-Back.  Doesn’t she look 10 years younger with those 15 extra pounds?Connie Britton wins Most Consistent in KaufmanFranco.Jessica Alba for most Irrelevantly Gorgeous.  Penalty for skinning a defenseless Muppet for that embarrassing bag. Amy Adams in Marchesa wins the prize for Most Likely to be Accidentally Confused with Taylor Swift.Halle Berry for Misdemeanor Midriff Exposure in VersaceSally Field for worst Granny Globes, gown by Alberta Ferretti.Kerry Washington for Most Overrated in Miu Miu.Anne Hathaway for Most Boring Chanel.Zosia Mamet for Best of the Girls.Lena Dunham for snatching Helen Mirren’s Zac Posen gown.Allison Williams for Most Forgettable Girl.Jessica Chastain in Calvin Klein Slightly Wrong from Head to Toe.Jennifer Lawrence for failure to learn from Jessica Biel’s Weird Dior-titty Mistake. Lucy Liu for Most Incongruent in Carolina Herrera.  What is this floral fuckmess?Hayden Panettiere wins Most Repetitious in Roberto Cavalli.  Jennifer Lopez for Most in Need of a Divorce from Zuhair Murad.Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta for Most Misguided Personal Style.…Naomi Watts for Best Zac Posen.…Nicole Kidman for Most Improved Hair.  This is a chicer length for her. …Rachel Weisz in Louis Vuitton for the Worst 3-Way Split.Giuliana Rancic in Celia Kritharioti for Most Felonious Showing by an Officer of the Fashion Police.

August 2012 Horoscopes

 Leo

Happy Birthday LionsLeos focus on self-improvement in August starting with a make over.  New hair, new clothes, and a fresh look will serve you well and actually aid in your character and personality ambitions.  Leos radiate energy and magnetic charisma.  At work, people around you will be attracted by your communication skills.  Tighten the purse strings; August is not for expensive luxuries.  Save your money and devote your time to casual get-togethers with friends you enjoy.  Try to avoid driving the last week of the month when the likelihood of an accident, especially at night, is particularly high.

 Virgo 

August provides the opportunity for spiritual awakening for Virgos.  Lately your focus has been very cerebral, but quite rooted in the real world.  Now think bigger, broader, higher, and through the usual.  Virgos spend a significant amount of time pondering the past to prepare for the future.  Keep the ego in check, and adopt an empathetic and humble attitude when dealing with your significant other.  Most importantly, admit when you are wrong.  Single Virgos should stay that way through August.  The first two weeks of the month are perfect for pursuing self-starting business deals.

 Libra

Libras embrace freedom and strength in August by rebelling against many self-imposed restraints.  Professionally you flourish.  Expect accolades and recognition as you position yourself for a meteoric rise.  Treat people kindly.  Your bitchiness is limiting your personal relationships.  Extra demanding to your partner in August, remember if you want space you have to give space.  Keep a conservative profile with regard to investments.  Now is not the time to risk the farm or lend money.

 Scorpio

Scorpios excel professionally this August and enjoy their career more than ever.  When enthusiastic about work, Scorpios shine and inevitably find success.  Now more than ever is the time to push forward with your professional aspirations.  You may even find yourself contemplating an interesting offer.  Mull over any big decisions.  Scorpios require a tremendous amount of emotional support this month.  Ask for what you need.

 Sagittarius

Impatient Sags want everything right now and when you don’t get it you get depressed.  Your desire to succeed and sheer determination can be off-putting, especially when you stampede over those around you.  Relax.  Use your charm to finesse situations.  Explore cultural activities this month like food fairs, carnivals, and neighborhood celebrations.  Keep it local from the 21st-26th, use the time at home to clarify your next move.  Stress manifests in the stomach this month.

 Capricorn

Capricorns experience intense intimacy in August with a shift in your current relationship or the blossoming of a new love.  A tussle with a friend resolves in due time, but the misunderstanding leaves a sourness between you.  Keep the focus on your personal life; this is not the time to get embroiled in petty office politics.  Caps experience financial losses with investments between the 19th-24thCapricorns suffer from distraction and therefore make shitty drivers this month.  Watch out.

 Aquarius

August tests Aquarius on several levels.  First, unless you are exceedingly cautious in your professional dealings, you are likely to offend a few folks in your work circle.  Second, a crisis of confidence erodes your chances at success.  Third, those around you are especially stressed this month and the ill effects spill over.  Focus on love; stoking it and growing it into every nook and cranny of your life.  Curb your blunt tongue.  Keep financially conservative or find yourself preoccupied and obsessed with your own overspending.

 Pisces

Money, money, money, Pisces who owe it must repay it in August.  Find yourself in a position to lend later in the month.  Pisces possess a knack for cultivating opportunities out of thin air.  Maximize this talent in August.  You might be surprised how many people are willing to invest in your ideas.  Wanna get married?  August proves productive with personal relationships as long as you focus on positivity.  Invest energy in a strong foundation before proceeding with any permanent plans.

Aries

Aries enjoy fun times in August as you frolic about from one social engagement to the next.  An upcoming event may very well include a “meet the parents” visit or the coming together of family and friends.  The stars look favorable for introducing your partner to the family. Think like a European: August makes a great time for a leisurely trip.  Students can relax; those of you preparing to study in the fall will receive some good news mid-month, but the last week of the month live especially cautious.  Those on the grind contemplate a new venture.  Get ready to blow a load on home improvement in an end of summer fit of redecoration.

 Taurus

Bulls lead with their horns this August, demonstrating aggression in negotiations and decision-making.  Rather than acting in haste, take time with the major choices and before snapping at colleagues.  Whiny and oversensitive from the 12th to 18th, try not to give in to your worst asshole tendencies.  Towards the end of the month, energies shift for the better and happy folks flock to you.  All this positivity spikes your creativity.  Get ready for some serious and meaningful relationship talks.  August is not the month for proposals or engagements.

Gemini

In August, Gemini’s talent for communication gets plenty of exercise both at work and home.  Towards the end of the month, you fail to do as you promise.  This time it really bites you in the ass, especially at work.  You make a bad situation worse when you say something you shouldn’t in front of your boss.  This month a stressed partner requires extra support and patience.  Try hiking, yoga, and meditating together to strengthen your relationship in a new way.

Cancer

An energetic backspin has Cancers feeling stuck.  This ongoing series of challenges has you frustrated and anxiously awaiting results, especially with regard to your career.  Unfortunately, August will not prove particularly fruitful in this regard.  Stay the course.  No short cuts.  Investments do look favorable for you, particularly in the realm of precious metals.  Even more travel, and by extension spending are on the menu for August.  This is a harmonious time for friendships, but a difficult time for your primary relationship.  Keep it light.

Golden Globes 2012: Gowns, Gams, & Guns

Jolie served in Atelier Versace.  She turned it out to pimp her directorial debut.  Don’t love the shoes, but when she tries even a little she easily steals the show.

The most improved nod goes to Heidi Klum in Calvin Klein Collection, who usually shows up to these events looking wildly out of place and heinously attired. Mila Kunis looked bored and made this one-strap Christian Dior boring too.  She can do better, but can’t seem to shake this recent ugly frock streak.  Let’s get the brides out of the way.  First, Jessica Chastain arrived in an ill-fitting Givenchy.  In recent awards seasons, Givenchy seems to lend out dresses willy-nilly and doesn’t bother to make sure they are tailored correctly.  For as many style successes as they have, they have an equal number of fashion failures.  Kate Beckinsale always brings the over-try, sponsored here by Roberto Cavalli and accompanied by Len Wiseman.Jessica Biel wore a matrimonial Elie Saab, obviously unable to stifle her wedding enthusiasm. Sofia Vergara showed us the source of the Nile in Vera Wang Sarah Michelle Gellar drowned in a big blue and white tie-dyed Monique L’huillier. Best grown women: Downton Abbey’s Elizabeth McGovern, Diane Lane and Madge both in Reem Acra.Vivienne Westwood dressed Andrea Riseborough who stars in Madonna’s movie W.E.The gorgeous Gucci girls = Salma Hayek and Evan Rachel Wood.God bless Melissa McCarthy; she tried in Badgley Mischka.  Take a cue from Octavia Spencer who looked incredible in a light lavender Tadashi Shoji. Modern Family’s Ariel Winter looks all grown up in Dolce & GabbanaShailene Woodley chose a lovely Marchesa gown, but unfortunately paired it with bad posture.  Claire Danes deviated from her usual favorites Calvin Klein and Narciso Rodriquez in favor of this embellish-backed J. Mendel number.  I’m ambivalent – love the back, hate the front. Michelle Williams wore Jason Wu.  She should stick to Prada or Miu Miu.  Is that burned out velvet?  Emma Stone also failed to impress in a mediocre Lanvin gown. Frieda Pinto wore lapis Prada and it won’t be everyone’s favorite, but I think she’s lovely.  Juliana Marguilies also chose a bold color statement with this sleek eggplant Naeem Khan.Laura Dern sparkled in an emerald Andrew Gn gown.Did you get the memo that Reese is reinventing herself as sexy?  Zac Posen painted her red and gave her hips.  Nicole Richie is quickly morphing into a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.  At first, I loved this Julien MacDonald metallic dress, but the more I look at it, the less excited I am, especially over that messy hem. Where have you been Natalie?  We’ve barely seen you since you gave birth.  Weird dress by Lanvin. Madeleine Stowe celebrated her career revival in Vera WangCharlize Theron is like awards show pizza; even when she’s bad she’s not that bad, and here she’s pretty decent in Dior Couture.  If only she could wipe that smug-ass look off her (recently tweaked?) face. 

STYLEMAX

Sick of short and tight?  Try long and flowy.

Bold prints look current.

Great for traveling…

…or dressy summer nights.