Please tell me you are watching the fucking splendor that is The Face. The Face is Naomi Campbell’s new modeling show competition and personal fuck you to Tyra Banks, Nigel Barker included. In a word, the show is sublime. Naomi reigns over the panel in her royal cuntiness. A well-past-her-prime Karolina Kurkova has the sense to steer clear of Mizz Campbell’s side eye, but naive Coco Rocha hasn’t proved so wise. Naomi might shank the Jehovah’s Witness, and I simply can’t miss that. Plus, when Coco Rocha actually speaks she might be one of the scariest looking humans I’ve ever seen. It’s truly troubling. (Her wedding video is worth a view though). Don’t expect any actual modeling talent on this show – the girls are pretty much universally beat. Watching The Face is all about basking in the glow of that iconic Campbell bitchery.