Tag Archives: oral sex

cunnilingLESS

OTTOMAN ORAL

Don’t kiss me twice and then dive for my clit.  There is a whole anatomical world worth exploring between both pairs of lips.

SHOWER ORALDon’t breathe through your mouth.  Your hot breath gusting on my pussy is distracting me from my orgasm.

ORAL EXPLORE

Don’t ignore the labias.CUNNILINGUS PERFORMUSSlow down.DROPPEDPut your hands somewhere useful. USEFUL HANDSDon’t get discouraged!  Keep practicing. BETTER

Back to School Advice: 90 day delay

For some of you skanks this advice comes too late, but for those who can make it through the first couple weeks of school without hopping into bed with a stranger, let me compliment your self-control.  A flurry of upheaval and excitement accompany the first few weeks of the semester.  It is easy to get swept up in the fervor and make regrettable decisions.  Maintain a bit of mystery.  Consider a 90 day moratorium on casual sex during the first three months of school.  Let the insecure desperadoes jump at the first offers.  Watch all the messiness unfold.  See who is who and what is what before you take your pants off.  Get too slutty too quickly and risk reputational damage and Facebook-style humiliation that could haunt you for years.  Don’t rationalize bad behavior with over-partying.  We don’t accept such fuckery here at Demeter Clarc.  Keep it classy this fall and take your pick of worthy muffins by Thanksgiving.

 

Patti Stanger on Randy Quaid’s Oral Sex Capabilities

“I went out with Randy Quaid for five minutes when he was normal.  I only did it to meet Dennis anyway.  I was twenty-three years old.  I had just got out of college…Best oral sex I ever had.”  Patti Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker