Tag Archives: packing

move it

To be completely honest my life is turned upside down right now.  The moment in nature has ended.  A major relationship has ended.  The dream of a big project has ended.  Some of my stuff is here.  Some of my stuff is there.  Then my dear laptop friend Joan Crawford passed on, and until her replacement arrives I am at the mercy of the kindness of friends to update you.  No excuses.  Just letting you know why the erratic post schedule in case your pussy has been hurting over it or whatever. I know some you bitches are fanatical readers and for that I ♥ you.

They say write what you know, and lately I’ve become a reluctant expert in moving.  (Blanche, I know you feel me on this girl.  You and Ryan are about the only two fools that move more than I do.)  We discussed this topic before, but a few points are worth reiterating and a few worth adding.

You can never have too many boxes, especially smaller ones.  I like a mix of free liquor or grocery store boxes and specialty boxes.   For example, I purchase picture boxes properly sized to protect my art collection.  Yeah bitch, I got an art collection.  And what?  Make sure that if you pack a big box that you can lift the big box.

Smart movers know that tape on a well-made tape gun is an absolute non-negotiable.  You need a gun for everyone and a spare for when one of those fuckers misplaces theirs.  Buy tape in bulk.

Start packing early.  Kitchens, closets, and storage areas will take longer than you think.  Leave extra time.  When I rush, I make careless errors.  When you rush a move, you can actually injure yourself.  Wanna add a trip to the emergency room to an already stressful day?  (Blanche’s elbow says amen.)

I tend to shy away from hiring moving companies, but one way or the other you are going to need some muscle.  Just remember that no one will treat your things with the same care that you would, so keep an eye on folks lugging your possessions.  Move your own electronics.

Use linens to cushion breakables.  Watch how nicely those framed pictures slip inside a pillowcase.  Socks hug drinking glasses.

Clearly mark the contents of your boxes.  There will be a moment when you are surrounded by stacks of boxes at your new place when you are looking for something specific.  Unpacking a bunch of boxes to find the scissors will drive you bananas.

Make a list.  It may seem rather obvious what you are doing here – packing up and cleaning, but in a state of dishevelment a list provides direction and structure.  Plus, everyone can work off a list, so you don’t have to constantly stop what you are doing to supervise others.

Realize that moving sucks.  It kicks up a substantial amount of physical and psychological dirt.  View it as an opportunity to shed the weight of unused possessions, but recognize that process can be painful and difficult.  You will probably act like a twat, so budget some money to take your helpers out to a post-move dinner.

 

On the Road: Demeter Clarc’s Top Travel Tips

When packing, lay out all the clothes and money you plan to take.  Take half the clothes and all the money.

Don’t wear white.  Tourists wear white.Learn the local customs or risk looking like a dick. Insure the rental car.

Just because you are on vacation does not mean you’re invincible.  Keep your ass out of the riptide.

Make eye contact. Cultivate patience. Don’t pay to park.

If you have a complaint, rather than demand a certain response, empower the person to whom you are complaining to solve the problem.  They will often offer you more than you would have asked for in compensation, especially if you learn to complain with kindness.

Frequent hygienically-sound food trucks. 

Understand you are a target for crime when traveling.  Be prepared to shank a bitch if need be.

 

moving moments part one

Ya’ll knew it was coming, here are a few of my best packing and moving tips.  First things first, before you bring in a single box, clean your new place from top to bottom or pay someone else to clean it.  Please don’t move into another’s filth.  Sanitize the space and clear the energy.  Burn a sage bundle bitch.5)      Moving yourself?  Get a bigger truck than you think you will need.  Extra space is a luxury.  Pick too small a truck and find yourself stressfully sacrifice-sorting as you load cargo to the gills.  If renting a truck, spring for the insurance. 4)      Speaking of sorting, before you ever get to the truck, mercilessly cut from your collection.  Give your friends first dibs, and send the rest to charity.  At least the most useless 25% of your shit needs to go.  After giving friends a bunch of free stuff you won’t feel so bad asking them to help you help carry the sofa.  3)      Most major retailers give away boxes for free.  That’s no big secret.  So don’t skimp on purchasing accessories and packing supplies.  Paper, wrap, specialty boxes; get what you need to properly prepare your belongings to survive the journey.  The cost of proper packing supplies pales in comparison to the heartache of opening a box upon arrival and finding a fractured heirloom.  Get a variety of box sizes, and don’t pack them so heavy you can’t carry them up and down stairs.  Protect yourself with proper planning. 2)      Take care of valuables yourself.  Handle special or sentimental items personally or risk possible destruction.  No one will handle your most precious baubles as tenderly. 1)      Get plenty of sleep and take time to eat.  Once you arrive to your new home unpack as quickly and completely as possible.  Don’t stop working on your new home until everything has a special place.  If you just shove things in drawers and closets without care the place will remain an unorganized mess.  Arrange everything carefully from the start and maintain a tidy home with ease.

on the road

Many of you know I’m in the midst of an epic road trip.  Twelve days and over 1,300 miles by air, road, and sea.  5 days into the journey, I’ve come to rely on a few unexpected items.  Here are things that have helped me survive, navigate, and stay connected while away.  Laptop, Kindle, cell, I need a least three outlets.  Since I don’t want to unplug every lamp, alarm clock, and TV in every room I stay in, a power strip is key.  Slip one in your bag; you’ll use it everyday.  Many cell phone companies fuck us over by preventing us from roaming on foreign networks.  They don’t want to pay a premium to other service providers to allow their own subscribers network access.  Enter Google Voice.  When you port a number to Google Voice you can hear voice mails, send texts, and make calls even if you can’t connect to a cellular network.  I’m not going to get into all the technically amazing shit you can do with Google Voice, but I highly recommend you look into this rad, FREE service.  On a similar tip, when the GPS isn’t working because you are in the middle of BFE, make sure your ass has an actual map, and ensure the map is current.  We’ve become too reliant on technology.  Learn to find your way around without it.  The most interesting places on this planet do not have cell towers. My wardrobe travel essential this trip has been my hooded army green drawstring-waist jacket.  It has sheltered me from the rain, kept me warm, but not hot, and has plenty of pockets for items I want to keep close.  A loosely structured jacket pulls together an outfit while also maintaining a feminine silhouette.   Bring every kind of wipe you can fit in your bag: anti-bacterial, flushable, baby, whatever.  Wipe the remote and any other surfaces to protect you from the skeeve.  If you watch Hotel Impossible, you already know why.  Mitigate the funk.

Coachella Packing List

James Perse shirts and dressesSoft Joie cotton / modal maxis

Patagonia 100% recyclable flip flops

Rebecca Taylor Hippie top

 Joe’s Jeans sandals

Tripping

Top Ten Packing Essentials

Slippers

Do you want to touch a floor that is not yours in bare feet?  Fucking gross yo.  Tuck an inexpensive pair of slippers in your travel case.

Tapestries

I’ve said it once before, but it bears repeating.  Tapestries are everything when you travel: a sheet, tent, barrier, decoration, beach blanket, light blocker; the possibilities are endless.

Samples

What do you do with all those free samples?  Take them with you when you travel, that’s what.  This gives you a chance to try new products and lightens your overall load.

Layers

Dressing in layers seems sort of obvious, but when you travel you are at the mercy of the temperature of the room you are assigned.  Consider different weight options for sleep and lounging, in addition to those you bring along for your planned activities.

Black

I have an impossibly chic friend who wears white beautifully without ever spilling (talking to you Sam), but I am not such a person.  I’ll stain a white shirt within minutes.  When you can’t afford for a stain to show, stick with black and bang out color with mayjah accessories.

Options

Some people preselect each outfit for each moment of each day before they pack.  This take-only-what-you-need method favors efficiency and simplicity, but doesn’t leave much room for error.  Throw a couple of extra options in the mix just in case of a layover, weather change, or needy friend.  Edit by keeping in mind that whatever you pack, you must carry.

Ear plugs

Ear plugs can mean the difference between a night of restful sleep or a night of listening to your noisy neighbors smoosh.  Travel enough and you realize that earplugs are an absolute must.

Incense

Nag Champa has popped up here before and it makes sense to throw a bundle of sticks in your bag (not loose ninny, the resin will stain your clothes).  It will evoke the essence of home and keep your garments smelling nice.

Sensible and Ridiculous shoes

You must bring shoes you can walk in, but you must also bring some showstoppers.  Nothing screams “tourist” like flip-flops at a fine dining restaurant.

Wipes

Nobody really cleans anything properly, so bring some wipes and do it yourself.  Trust me, there isn’t anything in your room that would not appreciate a wipe down.

Skills for Life

With spring comes travel and many of you may be preparing your bags.  Please remember, no one wants to carry your shit.  If you can’t carry all your shit at once, you packed too much.  Either get strong or pack light.  And those fucking wheely bags are a dignity issue — a definite Hell No