Tag Archives: Pauly D

Four for Friday

Notice how ever since The Soup moved to Wednesday it’s lost some of its zhush?  How can you do a thorough weekly round-up on a show that airs midweek?  Explain this suicidal programming decision por favor.  Jersey Shore sputtered out like a two-pump chump.  I’m guessing that’s what the lesbians affectionately call Vinny after the world’s least erotic three-way. Notice Bethenny’s show is building up to the infamous Amador boat trip even though everyone already widely believes the entire event to be staged for the cameras?  PR strategy or arrogant stupidity?Spent the last two days learning some interesting, scientific, and at times witchy stuff about the human body.  As if I needed another reason to sleep a full 8-10 hours, apparently the only way to truly rest and repair the adrenal glands is by consistently getting a full 8 hours of sleep.  The body repairs the adrenals during a specific period later in the sleep cycle.  If sleep is interrupted, the body resets to hour one and misses the opportunity to repair.  Can you poop without a stimulant (caffeine, nicotine, etc.) in the morning?  If not, this could be a sign of adrenal insufficiency.  Stressed, pissy and fatigued?  Consider the possibility that your chronic sleep deprivation depletes important hormones.


a few for Friday: B, G, and B&B

So what do we make of the Bethenny Frankel money mystery?  Her desperate visit on The Today Show did little to clarify doubts surrounding the sale of Skinnygirl Cocktails.  She implied the 100+ million dollar figure was accurate.  Doubters at Huffpo ran a retraction.  Her defensive and side-stepping response has everybody wondering about the truth.  Fishy.Today also broke the Giuliana Rancic cancer diagnosis story this week.  I have a soft spot for Giuliana and frown over her sad turn of luck.  Word is the cancer was present in both breasts, and she had a double lumpectomy within the last couple days.  The medical community rushed to defend IVF and insist that the treatments did not necessarily increase the risk of cancer.  Some cancers are hormone-fed, correct?  IVF involves super doses of hormones, correct?  Doctors are making a shitload of money off fertility treatments, including IVF, correct?  Correct.  In more uplifting news, I’m living for Beavis and Butt-head right now and anxiously await the premiere next Thursday.  This is one remake that won’t suck.  No one will miss Jersey Snore.  This season was extra weak marinara sauce.  Seriously though, the question we’ve all been skirting: is it possible Pauly D is gay?  Carefully consider it.


AquariusAubrey O’Day (February 11, 1984)

In the soda fountain of life, Aquarius provides the bubbly carbonation.  Likable, easy-going, but still reliable, Aquarius make great friends.  However, the propensity towards adventure, travel, and moving on-to-the-next makes for a complicated love life.  Vacation sex was made for this sign, as was the cliché, “easy come, easy go.” Just remember the same cannot be said about the herp, so don’t be an airhead.  When patience seems in short supply this month, forgive short-comings with magnanimity.

PiscesDina Manzo (March 7, 1971)

Pisces, always trying to adapt and accommodate, sometimes even without an awareness to the sacrifice.  Feminine and negative in nature, it is your very mutability that attracts some and frustrates others.  It also tends to make you awesome in bed.  One of those fringe friends lurking about might be ready to step up to the plate.  Prepare a game-changing outfit for Valentine’s Day.

Aries   Jeff Lewis (March 24, 1970)

Attention-loving Aries start (and often finish) the party.  The spark that ignites the fun fire, no gathering is truly worthwhile without you.  February isn’t the best month to get slizzard.  Now is the time to turn inward and decide for sure what you want.  A task master at heart, getting your priorities in line will set the course for the immediate future.  With a plan in place, anxiety subsides.

TaurusTabatha Coffey (May 17, 1969)

House guests may be on the horizon for Taurus as this is a fabulous time for hosting.  Avoid serious home-improvement projects, or you’ll end up in a fit of frustration on the floor.  Try not to fixate on all the little annoyances that accompany visitors.  Call upon that famous Taurean patience to help you endure the irritations.  No visitors?  Look forward to a little of your favorite thing – hibernation.

GeminiFarrah Abraham (May 31, 1991)

Loosey goosey spending habits have you in the lurch this month.  Hopefully, you had the good sense to set aside a little safety net.  Money worries will have you seriously preoccupied, which could cause fallout in other areas of life left unattended.  You have a bad habit of learning life’s lessons the hard way.  Get off the carousel of mistakes.

CancerPauly D (July 5, 1980)

Moon-child Cancer, this month looks good for your bank account and bad for your genitals.  When romanticism takes over, you leap without a net, which often results in bitter disappointment.  Be careful about expecting reciprocation this early on; best to let yourself be the object of the chase this time.  Don’t even think of spending that extra dough.

LeoTiffani Faison (August 20, 1977)

The most likable person ever is a humble Leo.  Unfortch, the rarity of humility among Leos makes the combination of those two words a virtual oxymoron.  February brings the potential for a real Leo ego bath.  Resist the temptation to fill up the tub with your own self-satisfaction.  You’ll get out smelling like it, and trust me, it stinks.

VirgoCamille Grammer (September 2, 1968)

Avoid making contracts, leases, and long-term commitments this month.  The key word for February is maintain.  Keep the schedule mellow and leave room for unexpected fun.  Aflutter with the New Year, your charisma wins people over.  Enjoy the shine and don’t let your oversensitivity ruin it.

LibraAlex McCord (October 1, 1973)

After staring at the same four walls all winter, you are ready to spruce up your space.  February is the time for freshening your interiors, so think about clearing the way for new inspiration.  As a sign that recognizes and appreciates the importance of aesthetics, this should be a satisfying creative experience.  Apply self-discipline and clean first to avoid stirring up dust.

ScorpioEva Marcille (October 30, 1984)

No matter what the situation, you always have an opponent.  Why is that?  Do you realize that not everyone lives in a constant state of conflict?  Chill with the power plays this month and try to enjoy a little peace.  Interpersonal balance pays career dividends – nobody wants to work with a self-important asshole.

SagittariusNeNe Leakes (December 13, 1967)

Big thinkers, Sagittarians are typically well-traveled and well-educated.  The curse of this sign is the unrelenting itchy restlessness.  Friends keep you busy this month.  Make sure to select budget-conscious activities to avoid a financial pickle.  Back up your hard drive – literally and figuratively.

Capricorn Kyle Richards (January 11, 1969)

Venus influences the vibe this month and so you’ll be extra delectable to all those around you.  Expect several invitations.  That isn’t to say that other complications might not arise.  Unresolved issues swept under the rug in January come back to spoil the social sundae.  Cash flow is abundant this month, but your eye for detail, not so much.  Get a second pair of eyes to review any important documents before signing.