Scorpio
Happy Birthday Scorpio! This month you have permission to shop, but pay cash. Double check your statements because money mix-ups are likely with Mercury in retrograde. Invitations roll in this month and you are on every guest list. Lucky Ducky Days fall on the 16th and 23rd. Those Scorpios yearning for a commitment may just get their wish come true this month. Scorpios waiting for their ships to come in will have to hold out until December.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius must watch the hyperbolic talk this month. If you can’t deliver it, don’t promise it. Especially scattered when it comes to times, dates, and appointments, double check your schedule to avoid missing important events. In November, Sags brings flare to social circles and in turn widen their own. Get your good underwear out; November looks active in the bedroom.
Capricorn
With Mercury in retrograde this month, Capricorn suffers confusion and misunderstanding. Confirm and keep accurate records. Slow the pace a bit this month, and consider if things are headed in the right direction. Enjoy time with the family and a little nostalgia. November will be highly social. For single Capricorns looking for a new romance, this is the time. Career advancement may be in the painting.
Aquarius
Aquarius risks losing valuables this November, so mind your belongings. You really can’t afford to replace expensive items this month. To make matters worse, a dispute with a friend has you feeling down and misunderstood. Thanksgiving will be a big to-do this year which brings added stress and insecurity to the end of the month. Ultimately, all will go well, and you will be popular and complimented. Mercury in retrograde causes mix-ups with appointment details; double check your shit.
Pisces
In November, Pisces succeed at work. This is where you should focus your energy and expect to see the biggest return. Towards the holiday, expect a flurry of activity. Save your best outfits for the 16th and 23rd. Fishies in relationships do well this month, but watch your mouth. Careless words can’t be retrieved.
Aries
Thanksgiving plans prove extra annoying this year. Expect bad food, travel delays, and the aftertaste of regret. At least your wallet looks thick, particularly after the 10th. Knock out some early holiday shopping. You’ll have a knack for finding bargains this November. The first weeks of November, focus on friends and social activities. Need a favor? The best time to hit ‘em up is the 2nd or 3rd.
Taurus
November brings misunderstandings to the work place. Try to stay out of the inter-office drama. Taurus glows in November with charm and confidence. Coupled Bulls share romantic cozy evenings. Those on the prowl have opportunities for sexy times. Stable finances ease your mind, but careful to avoid delayed payments. Devote energy to your social life rather than big money or career decisions this month.
Gemini
Take care of yourself this month Gemini. You are particularly susceptible to a bout of illness in November. Sleep more, eat better, and skip the late nights of debauchery. All this hanging at home will have you tempted to commence a new project. Now is not the time. Those looking for love may find it this month, including a commitment. Don’t get too excited about the deal you scored on gifts; you’ll need the extra dough to pay for all those upcoming events.
Cancer
Crabs are on full blast in November which can lead to clumsy accidents. Think before you leap. Romance sucks up all the energy in November. Couples spend ample time together and singles link up with a soul mate. You’ll know by the instant familiarity. Build a foundation in November for future recognition at work. Don’t expect instant results.
Leo
November brings family strife for Leo, so get ready to have it out with your nearest and dearest. Set aside a reserve for unexpected home repairs that pop up. Select repairmen carefully. November is for saving rather than spending. Curb impulsive purchases. Expect scheduling confusion in your social life. Confirm date, time and place before leaving. Professionally, a raise and promotion are in the stars. If a raise isn’t in the budget, at least you’ll catch a little shine.
Virgo
Have you been resisting scheduled maintenance on your cars or appliances? Invest in a check-up or risk pricier repairs in the future. November serves an energy spike. Don’t get so worked up into a tizzy that you make dumbass mistakes. Slow down. This is a favorable month for family relationships, except for the cloudy communication. Choose words carefully. At work, get everything in writing and avoid signing contracts around the 1st and the 20th.
Libra
November’s mellow and enjoyable for Libra, as long as you take care of yourself, including ample rest. Reserve the end of the month for family, holiday decorating, and planning. A flurry of communication promotes healthy relationships, but misunderstandings are a possibility too. Review messages for clarity before sending. Extra cash tempts you to spend. Exercise restraint. When conducting online transactions, leave room for others’ mistakes.
Happy Birthday Crabs! A Cardinal sign, the Cancerian energy flows like the ocean tides in one clear direction – usually towards home. Guardians of the Moon, introverted and feminine Cancers are the heart of the family. Running things in July, increased responsibility burdens relationships. Continue the theme of constructive stress relief. Reduce the overall load by relying on trustworthy confidants. Heightened emotional attunement results in prosperous partnerships and business ventures. Leash spending and enjoy a thick wallet.
Virgos have avoided making tough and permanent decisions about some major unresolved issues. Conflicts with finances, offspring, amici, and colleagues require legitimate action this time around. Now is the time to take up the rug and sweep up all that dust and dirt. Busy worktimes require organization and strategy. Domestically, trips keep the temperature warm and the mood romantic. Couples teetering on the brink? July’s the time to let go for good.
Sags are looking good right now; take advantage of your heightened appeal and enjoy a day or two off the usual grind. Reunions make for unexpected sparks with random acquaintances. Have fun with the nostalgia, but don’t get too serious. Focus some attention on gathering intel socially and professionally. Knowledge is power. Financially, Sags can expect more steady drip than flowing stream. Manage accordingly.
May I congratulate you on the steps you’ve taken to make things right? Effort duly noted. Relationships aren’t ever easy for Caps, but after the New Moon positive change arrives. Professional disappointments discourage and frustrate Caps in July. A temper tantrum won’t help. Keep work and home separate or suffer interpersonal misery. No big shopping sprees in July for you. Schedule important biznass sometime between the 8th-11th.
Reasonably financially prudent, Pisces swim in unfamiliar water this month when you run into some unexpected money issues (which are totally your fault). Rather than waste time stressing funds, devote time to DIY home improvement and gardening. Midmonth, friends lighten the mood, and Pisces always get invited to the party. However, romantic strings tangle in July and have you hunting for the scissors. In contrast, work looks really fantastic, so enjoy the sun where it shines.
Retire the wallet; all you really need is one of these fun enamel cases from Classic Hardware, perfectly sized for your ID and a few cards. 
Not only will this holder force you to simplify and lighten your stash, it serves as an interesting conversation piece. Both men and women often compliment mine.
Measuring approximately 4″ x 2″, the sturdy compact slips into even the slimmest clutch or pocket. The high quality construction tolerates serious abuse and withstands cracking, chipping, and scratches. 
Classic Hardware makes a variety of creative and original designs with a choice of smaller and larger dimensions. All make excellent gifts for stylish friends. 
Don’t ruin delightful bath time with disgusting towels. Donate those stringy, rough, hand-me-down towels and invest in luxurious bath sheets.
Standard bath towels measure 27 X 52 inches and don’t envelope the body the way a thick, yummy, 35 X 70 inch bath sheet does. Recently, a very discerning guest stopped by for a visit, and even he took notice of the magnitude, warmth, and absorbency of the mega-towel.
Charisma makes very enjoyable, soft, durable, non-linty bath sheets which can be obtained on sale for $20ish with a little detective shopping. Don’t ever pay full price for towels.
Since recommending that you change your sheets once a week sent bitches into a frenzy, advising you to refresh your bath towel at least every 2-3 days might start a riot.
For some of us, Christmas means sitting around with people we don’t like opening presents we don’t want. This is the gift of adulthood. The only upside is booze.
Microeconomists theorize Christmas gift giving as a deadweight loss. Basically, all the crap we exchange has less value than what we pay for it, and storing the clutter costs more than it’s worth. 
Nevertheless, we must learn to accept less desirable baubles with grace. No matter how ill-suited the gift, don’t allow your reaction to match its inappropriateness. 
Suck up your disdain; the only acceptable response to a gift is gratitude. No need to disingenuously lay it on thick; a sincere expression of thanks will suffice. Flex your honesty muscles, and you may end up with a sobbing mother-in-law.
