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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KB

HAP COLORSPYBIRT EDITH HATDA LCY GINGHAMKBHAPPY BIRTHDAY PINUP

Finally Finished Friday

KEEP CALM AND FINISH STRONGFuck Yes!  After a long and arduous 5 weeks I am done with my condo remodel.  I learned so much from this little project about construction, building materials, Home Depot, and human nature. HOME DEPOTI promise to show you pictures, but first I want to clean it from top to bottom and arrange everything just so.  Promise me you will be kind even it if my taste is not your taste.  Would it surprise you to learn that I made some rather unorthodox choices?  My contractors thought I was smoking crack, but ultimately they had to suck my dick and admit that my odd choices actually make the place special and practical. IKEA VARDE

Thanks for your patience over the last week.  As always, I appreciate your allegiance and support. DCUNDER CONSTRUCTION

 

 

Going to See a Friend I haven’t Seen in Ten

VICTORY GIRL

February 2013 Horoscope

Aquarius

Happy Birthday Aquarius!  If life were dessert, you’d be the fluffy, foamy, creamy topping.  You are truly an effervescent joy, so much so that the more cynical among us sometimes read your jubilance as disingenuous.  Depending on how you wield your charisma that reading may or may not be true.  Getting to know you can be difficult Aquarius.  Actually, sometimes just getting you to sit still long enough to have a meaningful conversation is challenging.  Aquarius likes to maintain a wide social circle and has a knack for bringing folks together, albeit, somewhat indiscriminately.  In contrast, many Aquariuses (Aquarii?) also maintain a hermit-like private life.  A flourishing spiritual life is important, and many admire your commitment, but what about LOVE?  Light up in the thrill of flirt, and if you by any chance feel a spark, fan the flame.

 Pisces

Pisces rather selective nature often means they go months without taking a lover, but when they do, watch the fuck out because it is like a thirsty man found water.  Slightly self-obsessed navel gazers, Pisces spend a significant amount of time contemplating their own process and feelings.  Close friends of Pisces know that sometimes little fishes act like life is only happening to them.  Pull your head above water and inventory your nearest and dearest.  Don’t turn every proximate drama or trauma into your own.  Pisces possess a compassionate and forgiving nature; apply these qualities in your dealings with others this month.  Your personal integrity is admired by many.

 Aries

To others, Aries seem really moody and irrational for no apparent reason.  Of course the reason is apparent to you.  When you hit your limit with other people’s inconsiderate actions you aren’t afraid to let them know.  Since the world is full of rude and hateful people, from your point of view you are doing community service by informing them of their annoying behavior.  How noble.  Channel work stress into rough sex.  The bedroom is appropriate place for Aries to aggress this month. Think more heart-felt than extravagant this Valentine’s Day, and don’t forget your Mom.  Small gestures of loving generosity pay dividends in surprising ways.

 Taurus

Taurus envisions things a certain way, and when the illusion is shattered it is truly destabilizing.  The choices of some of your most trusted mentors have come to influence your thinking in certain matters.  Where are you willing to compromise?  More importantly, where are you not willing to compromise?  Life is too fleeting to waste time on the unworthy.  For you Taurus, this is especially true.  Over the next few months, there are consistent and significant demands on your time.  Typically very responsible, there will be some days in February where you just want to blow off your responsibilities.  You can get away with playing hooky once, so choose wisely.

 Gemini

Over the next three months Gemini will experience some serious upheaval that will inevitably throw your rigid world into relative chaos.  Emotionally, this will be a challenging time.  Rely on your intelligence to make wise and thoughtful decisions.  Whatever comes of change, you will adapt, grow, and more importantly thrive.  Spend more time organizing than procrastinating.  Just choose an item of clutter and put it away or get rid of it.  Rinse.  Repeat.  It’s not that deep.  Never one for big romantic gestures, ask yourself what it means when you pass up those small opportunities to show you care.

 Cancer

February should prove especially enchanting for Cancers.  Romance, delicious food and general wooing is coming your way, so brace yourself to swoon.  They say at any given time a person juggles at least five worries.  You shoulder your share of troubles, but lately those concerns have taken a less prominent role in your thinking.  All of your hard work really benefits the bank account which allows you to pay off your debts if you choose to responsibly allocate your resources.  This is an opportunity to break a pattern.  Stay active; it will keep not only your body in shape, but quiet your mind as well.

 Leo

Oh lovely Leo, mundane repairs and maintenance dominate over the first three weeks of the month.  This is a fantastic month for collaboration both professionally and privately.  Professionally, others view you as a contributor and team player.  Your ideas are valued even if you find the perspectives of teammates ludicrous.  Listen carefully to the wise opinions of those you trust. Personally, you begin to realize that your current situation is hindering your progress in general.  When it comes to love Leo, a little strategy wouldn’t hurt.  You are a Lion, so go stalk your prey.  Nothing feels as good as being desired, so express yours.

Virgo

That hectic pace has finally caught up with you dear Virgo and whether you want to or not life has forced you to slow your roll.  Professionally, you’ve proved yourself, but at what expense?  Look at your calendar.  Is there a blank day?  Virgos tend to overschedule.  Virgos need blank days.  We all need blank days.  Towards the end of the month Virgos brim with creative and practical solutions.  February forces conversations about living situations, especially the balance of indoor outdoor space.  These considerations cause you to go back over your past which leads to some interesting personal revelations.

 Libra

After a rather lengthy gray period, February opens up some opportunities for fun, perhaps even including animals or children.  It’s been awhile since Libra enjoyed frivolous, silly fun and activities you enjoy.  Libras gain a renewed sense of confidence with a full dance card, and you come on like a tropical breeze this February.  A little levity lightens your mood and this leads to closer intimacy between you and your partner.  Already prone to nostalgia, February has you contemplating the family legacy.  Libras especially value family and therefore make the perfect candidates for creating tributes to parents.

 Scorpio

Just when you think you know a Scorpio, they totally surprise you – sometimes with their sweetness and sometimes with their stinger.  Profoundly manipulative, there are few lengths Scorpios won’t go to get what they want, especially when motivated by revenge or spite.  When Cartman tells Scott Tenorman, “I made you eat your parents,” Scorpios not only relate to the sentiment, they champion it.  If revenge is a dish best served cold, Scorpios invented the recipe.  What many Scorpios forget is that they are not exempt from the balancing forces of the universe.  What goes around comes around.  So if you are going to serve up a plate of parents, make sure you are prepared to eat yours.

 Sagittarius

Wow Sags what an amazing month!  Sincerest congratulations on all you’ve accomplished.  Sags put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the consummate everything.  You get really worked up and set personal expectations unreasonably high.  Now is the time to set the temptation of future-thinking aside and discipline yourself to fully inhabit this moment.  Humble yourself to receive information rather than suffocating the process.  Sex is important to Sags on many levels, but this month you crave substantial physical validation.  Rather than playing coy, just level with your conquest and let them know what you need to feel fulfilled.

 Capricorn

Experience the New Year as a fresh start Capricorn.  Take stock, reevaluate, and reprioritize what is most important to setting you up for success.  After doing a personal inventory, your path will appear much more clear and obvious.  February will be a social month full of face to face communication.  Pop a mint.  Two-thirds into the month, Capricorn’s focus shifts to property and material security.  Caps expend time and resources on financing and development try to maximize profit on investments.  Gotta love a Cap always trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents.  Your hustle is one of your best qualities.

extra soft

Last week when my friend Lisa came over to go through my giveaways she commented that my cast-offs where always “especially soft.”I do enjoy extra soft textiles, and I achieve the broken-in feel with a double helping of softener.  Going against tradition, I add the liquid softener with the detergent and booster while the washer is filling.  I always start with a little bit of hot water in the load to help dissolve the soap and dilute the softener.  I don’t ever use the separate softener channel which usually just gunks up over time. 

In addition to liquid softener in the wash, I add dryer sheets to the tumble.  Double softness = double happiness.  Don’t you want to be known for your especially soft clothes, sheets, and towels? 

Wink, wink, red

Lá Fhéile Pádraig

NOVEMBER 2011 HOROSCOPES

Scorpio

Happy Birthday Scorpio!  This month you have permission to shop, but pay cash.  Double check your statements because money mix-ups are likely with Mercury in retrograde.  Invitations roll in this month and you are on every guest list.  Lucky Ducky Days fall on the 16th and 23rd. Those Scorpios yearning for a commitment may just get their wish come true this month.  Scorpios waiting for their ships to come in will have to hold out until December.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius must watch the hyperbolic talk this month.  If you can’t deliver it, don’t promise it.  Especially scattered when it comes to times, dates, and appointments, double check your schedule to avoid missing important events.  In November, Sags brings flare to social circles and in turn widen their own.  Get your good underwear out; November looks active in the bedroom.

Capricorn

With Mercury in retrograde this month, Capricorn suffers confusion and misunderstanding.  Confirm and keep accurate records.  Slow the pace a bit this month, and consider if things are headed in the right direction.  Enjoy time with the family and a little nostalgia.  November will be highly social.  For single Capricorns looking for a new romance, this is the time.  Career advancement may be in the painting.

Aquarius

Aquarius risks losing valuables this November, so mind your belongings.  You really can’t afford to replace expensive items this month. To make matters worse, a dispute with a friend has you feeling down and misunderstood.  Thanksgiving will be a big to-do this year which brings added stress and insecurity to the end of the month.  Ultimately, all will go well, and you will be popular and complimented.  Mercury in retrograde causes mix-ups with appointment details; double check your shit.

Pisces

In November, Pisces succeed at work.  This is where you should focus your energy and expect to see the biggest return.  Towards the holiday, expect a flurry of activity.  Save your best outfits for the 16th and 23rd.  Fishies in relationships do well this month, but watch your mouth.  Careless words can’t be retrieved.

Aries

Thanksgiving plans prove extra annoying this year.  Expect bad food, travel delays, and the aftertaste of regret.  At least your wallet looks thick, particularly after the 10th.  Knock out some early holiday shopping.  You’ll have a knack for finding bargains this November.  The first weeks of November, focus on friends and social activities.  Need a favor?  The best time to hit ‘em up is the 2nd or 3rd.

Taurus

November brings misunderstandings to the work place.  Try to stay out of the inter-office drama.  Taurus glows in November with charm and confidence.  Coupled Bulls share romantic cozy evenings.  Those on the prowl have opportunities for sexy times.  Stable finances ease your mind, but careful to avoid delayed payments.  Devote energy to your social life rather than big money or career decisions this month.

Gemini

Take care of yourself this month Gemini.  You are particularly susceptible to a bout of illness in November.  Sleep more, eat better, and skip the late nights of debauchery.  All this hanging at home will have you tempted to commence a new project.  Now is not the time.  Those looking for love may find it this month, including a commitment.  Don’t get too excited about the deal you scored on gifts; you’ll need the extra dough to pay for all those upcoming events.

Cancer

Crabs are on full blast in November which can lead to clumsy accidents.  Think before you leap.  Romance sucks up all the energy in November.  Couples spend ample time together and singles link up with a soul mate.  You’ll know by the instant familiarity.  Build a foundation in November for future recognition at work.  Don’t expect instant results.

Leo

November brings family strife for Leo, so get ready to have it out with your nearest and dearest.  Set aside a reserve for unexpected home repairs that pop up.  Select repairmen carefully.  November is for saving rather than spending.  Curb impulsive purchases.  Expect scheduling confusion in your social life.  Confirm date, time and place before leaving.  Professionally, a raise and promotion are in the stars.  If a raise isn’t in the budget, at least you’ll catch a little shine.

Virgo

Have you been resisting scheduled maintenance on your cars or appliances?  Invest in a check-up or risk pricier repairs in the future.  November serves an energy spike.  Don’t get so worked up into a tizzy that you make dumbass mistakes.  Slow down.  This is a favorable month for family relationships, except for the cloudy communication.  Choose words carefully.  At work, get everything in writing and avoid signing contracts around the 1st and the 20th.

Libra

November’s mellow and enjoyable for Libra, as long as you take care of yourself, including ample rest.  Reserve the end of the month for family, holiday decorating, and planning.  A flurry of communication promotes healthy relationships, but misunderstandings are a possibility too.  Review messages for clarity before sending.  Extra cash tempts you to spend.  Exercise restraint.  When conducting online transactions, leave room for others’ mistakes.

JULY 2011 HOROSCOPES

 

Cancer

Happy Birthday Crabs!  A Cardinal sign, the Cancerian energy flows like the ocean tides in one clear direction – usually towards home.  Guardians of the Moon, introverted and feminine Cancers are the heart of the family.  Running things in July, increased responsibility burdens relationships.  Continue the theme of constructive stress relief.  Reduce the overall load by relying on trustworthy confidants.  Heightened emotional attunement results in prosperous partnerships and business ventures.  Leash spending and enjoy a thick wallet.

Leo

Leos should cancel road trips and stay off the road when possible this month.  Exercise extra caution while out and about locally.  Particularly vulnerable to pressure in July, don’t cave.  You’ll end up stuck in a very unfavorable position.  Others slack professionally; set yourself apart by seizing bonus opportunities.  The extra effort will result in recognition.  Best to keep a low profile for now; next month brings improvements.

Virgo

Virgos have avoided making tough and permanent decisions about some major unresolved issues.  Conflicts with finances, offspring, amici, and colleagues require legitimate action this time around.  Now is the time to take up the rug and sweep up all that dust and dirt.  Busy worktimes require organization and strategy.  Domestically, trips keep the temperature warm and the mood romantic.  Couples teetering on the brink?  July’s the time to let go for good.

Libra

Blindsiding professional upheaval disrupts progress at work.  The drama could easily suck up the first two weeks of the month.  Find a way to  attract attention because competitive sharks circle Libras.  If you want it, you will have to fight for it.  In other respects, July looks calm and easy.  Casual summer entertaining fills up warm evenings with innocent fun.  The invitations don’t stop all summer and the socializing expands your social sphere.  Many of these upcoming events have a charitable angle; don’t show your ass by being cheap.

 

 

 

Scorpio

Put on your party pants Scorpios; whether you like it or not socializing is the summer agenda.  Instead of shutting everyone out, keep the lines of communication open.  It is unlike you to fuck up, so mind invitation details to avoid offending your host.  A heartbreaker of an old flame resurfaces this month.  Will you play with fire?  This grudge has taken up enough cardiac real estate.  Whether you ignore the overture or reciprocate, find a way to let go of the long-standing bitterness.

 

Sagittarius

Sags are looking good right now; take advantage of your heightened appeal and enjoy a day or two off the usual grind.  Reunions make for unexpected sparks with random acquaintances.  Have fun with the nostalgia, but don’t get too serious.  Focus some attention on gathering intel socially and professionally.  Knowledge is power.  Financially, Sags can expect more steady drip than flowing stream.  Manage accordingly.

 

Capricorn

May I congratulate you on the steps you’ve taken to make things right?  Effort duly noted.  Relationships aren’t ever easy for Caps, but after the New Moon positive change arrives.  Professional disappointments discourage and frustrate Caps in July.  A temper tantrum won’t help.  Keep work and home separate or suffer interpersonal misery.  No big shopping sprees in July for you.  Schedule important biznass sometime between the 8th-11th.

 

Aquarius

Aquarius enjoys great relationships or love prospects this July.  Keep the vibe easy breezy and without strings.  Code word: summer fling.  Let the good sexytimes distract you from office drama.  Storms gather at work; expect ego clashes, posturing, and backstabbing due to some planetary fuckery.  Fear not; by month’s end, Aquarius enjoy professional glory.

 

Pisces

Reasonably financially prudent, Pisces swim in unfamiliar water this month when you run into some unexpected money issues (which are totally your fault).  Rather than waste time stressing funds, devote time to DIY home improvement and gardening.  Midmonth, friends lighten the mood, and Pisces always get invited to the party.  However, romantic strings tangle in July and have you hunting for the scissors.  In contrast, work looks really fantastic, so enjoy the sun where it shines.

Aries

The first half of the month brings struggles to Aries.  Both romantic and familial connections suffer interference.  Consider the best way to defuse the drama.  Celestial movements make the second half of July an entirely different conversation.  Get ready for some super fun times and the potential for new love.  Already prone to sluttiness, don’t get carried away with the short-shorts and tequila.

 

Taurus

July brings drastic changes in almost every important relationship in your life.  Everyone close will feel the aches and pains.  Others may behave erratically; calm them with your steady reliability.  Enjoy long talks with those nearest and dearest during lazy lovely summer days.  Now is the time for a trip, long or short – make it happen if you can.  Always financially savvy, Taurus are extra amped to earn this month.

 

Gemini

Gemini glows in July.  Take the extra charm and direct it towards meeting new friends or getting back in touch with far-flung relatives.  We know how much Geminis hate to make decisions, but July demands you take a stand in that impossible relationship.  This time, you must initiate action.  Others may try to weasel into private financial dealings.  Stay vigilant and keep intruders out of your biznass.  Expect a flux of household income, but manage surplus wisely.