Tag Archives: Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life

Bethenny Ever After: Baroness of Booze

This week’s episode commenced with a death spiral and that’s not a cheeky reference to Bethenny and Jason’s relationship.  Props to Bethenny for her major skating progress.  All that yoga has clearly paid off.Next Bethenny took her badly dressed hubby to Scoop for new jeans where salesboy Gavyn read Jason to filth for his antiquated denim taste.  While Jason took his sweet-ass time trying on options, Bethenny talked shit about his genetically inherited cheap streak.Gavyn summed it up like only a bitchy queen can when he said snidely, “He’s only buying one?  After all that?”  Then he huffed, rolled his eyes at the breeders, and stomped off with an attitude to check his Blackberry.  God Bless Gavyn.In order to address Skinnygirl production issues, Bethenny and Jason flew private to Montreal.  After the requisite mile-high club innuendos, the two tucked into a spread of salad and fruit.Montreal is so fantastic, right?  The couple enjoyed the gorgeous city and strolled the streets.  An ornament store caught their attention.  Bethenny came down with tchotchke fever and insisted on investing in a snow globe against Jason’s better judgment.Bethenny plays on Jason’s sympathies to manipulate him into getting what she wants.  Last week she rationalized her bad birthday behavior by relying heavily on her whoa-is-me youth.  This week she used her snow-globe-deprived childhood to justify wasting money on hideous knick-knacks.  Officially an adult for well over twenty years, Bethenny continues to get a lot of mileage out of her “tragic” childhood.Now that Bethenny thinks she’s got everything figured out from her woo woo place of yes, she’s making broad generalizations about all women.  Over drinks, she declared, “Every woman goes out to get married.”Ooooohhhhhhhhhh really Bethenny?  EVERY woman schemes for a ring, huh?  A good number of women could give a fuck about a ring, so she can chill with the sweeping statements.  Furthermore, her overconfidence in her own union might come back to bite her in the ass.  Bethenny sounds like the Cuntess with all this sanctimony.And one other thing, this tequila-soaked slop looks cross-eyed every time she drinks out of straw.  Need a funnel B?The next day the booze baroness took a visit to the Skinnygirl bottling plant.  Bethenny was blown away at seeing her vision come to fruition.  Apparently, there was a glass shortage?  Bullshit detector go off on that one?  White dude in a suit kept serving up excuses which did not legitimately account for the significant production delays.  Bethenny was too stunned by the whole factory to see the forest for the trees and let the piss-poor performance issues slide.Back on the factory floor, Bethenny reveled in the enormous scale of Skinnygirl.  She and Jason then spent several minutes reenacting key scenes from Laverne & Shirley.Bethenny took a moment and reflected on her boozy success.  Credit goes to her for breaking into the hard liquor market – an almost exclusively male arena.  Recently, Bethenny sold Skinnygirl to Beam Global Spirits & Wine in the hopes of greatly expanding distribution.  Bethenny claims the partnership will allow her to still remain integrally involved and develop new products.So you want to know how much the deal was worth?  Such details haven’t been publicly disclosed, but chances are it wasn’t enough.  The phrases “lump sum” and “multi-year agreement” have made their way through the rumor mill.  However, unless that lump sum was somewhere in the $50 million range, she likely sold herself way too short.  Another question, who owns her new cocktail ideas?  Think Beam has Bethenny’s back? 

FLAGG > FRANKEL

Recently, Bravo stars Josh Flagg (Million Dollar Listing) and Bethenny Frankel (Bethenny Ever After) both released books.  Frankel authored two previous best-sellers: Naturally Thin and the companion cookbook Skinnygirl Dish.  By now you’ve surely heard of her latest offering – A Place of Yes, a self-help guide including “10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life.”  After reading the first twenty pages of Place of Yes, a response of “fuck no” started to form.  Place of Obvious might be a better title for all the wisdom and insight tucked into the pages of this meandering manifesto.

Million Dollar Agent: Brokering the Dream might sound like a real estate book, and in many ways it is.  Flagg writes with endearing honesty about his upbringing and family.  Shaped by strong women, Flagg gives credit where credit is due – to his grandmothers and mother for shaping him into his current success.  He discusses his first feelings of detachment from the crowd, and how his burgeoning homosexuality further reinforced his isolation.  This description makes the book sound heavy; it’s not.  It’s hilarious.  If you watch Josh on Million Dollar Listing, his voice narrates the anecdotes.  Here are a few gems:On his Grandma Edith bringing polyester to the U.S. fabric market, “So in short, my grandmother became incredibly successful and was single handedly responsible for the horrendous synthetic fiber jogging suits of the 1970’s.”On Mom and Dad, “I blame them both for my precocious demeanor and pretentious sense of self-worth.”Concerning his Father specifically,”…his plan to make me a humble human being backfired.”“Parents of other kids in my class, they loved me!  For the ones that couldn’t tell I pitched for the other team, they were thrilled because they thought their daughters were going to marry me.  For the ones who could tell, they wanted me to come over to their houses and help them redecorate their living rooms.”From his Grandfather’s death at Auschwitz to his reign as cotillion queen, page after page, Flagg’s disarming candor reveals his unvarnished, often painful truth.When you compare these two books, the startling difference boils down to authenticity.  Josh’s account resonates as personal and genuine.  Bethenny’s book reads like she’s trying to convince us she’s got life all figured out.Check out Flagg’s Million Dollar Agent: Brokering the Dream – not only will you learn a thing or two about real estate, Josh’s forthright career memoir may change and inform your opinion of the squeaky-voiced (yet charming) dork.

Frankel Fatigue

Anyone else feeling mayjah Frankel fatigue?  The second season of her reality show, Bethenny Ever After, hasn’t even begun to air.  Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life, Frankel’s life advice manifesto, doesn’t come out until March.  Her new skincare line, Honest, ain’t yet available, but already I wish B Frank would be gone.  Pimping on the family platform, Bethenny’s added a number of new endorsement deals to her already crowded stable, including Pampers and British Airways.  Do yoga with Bethenny’s workout DVD.  If that doesn’t work, rumor has it she has a lingerie and shapewear collection coming soon.  Recover from a Skinnygirl hangover with a Skinnygirl cleanse.  Wow, who knew our little Bethenny was an authority on virtually everything?After starting out a Bethenny fan, a meaningful amount of self-reflection was required before I could pinpoint the source of my welling disgust.  So here it is.  We used to be able to rely on Bethenny to call people on their fake bullshit, and now Bethenny personifies that fake bullshit.  Jumping at the opportunity to shill for corporations and leveraging her nascent family to broaden her endorsement appeal demolished her fragile credibility.  Is any aspect of her life uncommodified?  If Frankel will say anything for a buck, then how are fans to decipher between bought Bethenny and earnest Bethenny?  Is it naive to believe there was ever a sincere Bethenny?With Frankel’s assortment of products, a girl can all but transform herself into Bethenny, but is she the kind of skinny bitch any girl really wants to be?