Tag Archives: plastic surgery

Tami had a Heart Attack?!

Earlier this week Tami Roman had a heart attack.  The press described it as “mild,” which means it didn’t kill her.  She’s currently recuperating.  Tami is 41.  Feel better mama.  We need you.  We’ve loved you since The Real World.  No más drinking and no más smoking.  Try yoga instead of lipo.  

Please Don’t get a Boob Job

One of the women involved in this intensive training had her boobs done about 10 years ago.  The last couple weeks have convinced her that her silicone implants are the source of all her pain.  This is a woman who only eats raw snacks, but has plastic titties.  I ask you Ethan Hawke, is that irony?  (According to his definition, I suppose no.)Here are just a few of the possible side-effects of breast augmentation: infection, breast or nipple numbness, capsular contracture, scar tissue, breakage and leakage, necrosis, cognitive impairment, metal poisoning due to platinum exposure (in silicone implants), silicone migration into lymph nodes and other organs, autoimmune disease, and the worst case scenario – death. Were you aware that all breast implants will eventually break?  Nobody knows how long current breast implants will last.  Some break during the first few months, whereas others endure more than 15 years.  Most women had at least one broken implant within 11 years.  In over twenty percent of women, silicone migrated outside of the breast capsule and most of them were unaware of it.Health consequences aside, a boob job smacks of insecurity and vanity.  Save up for a dignity implant instead.  Men in particular, do your best to talk women out of this dumbass procedure. 

The Lasik Report

To speak from a fully informed perspective, I wanted to wait at least a week before reporting on my laser eye surgery.  Now after a full seven days and two follow up appointments, I see more accurately than 20/20.Is it worth it?  If you hate your contacts like I did, then yes.  You see better the very day of the procedure, there is virtually no downtime, and negligible risk.  No one has ever gone blind from Lasik – you know I asked. The procedure itself is quick.  It isn’t physically painful, but it is physically and psychologically uncomfortable.  Thankfully, the procedure only takes a few minutes per eye.  Clearer vision is immediately apparent after surfacing from the laser show and it continues to improve over the next 24-48 hours.It’s pricey, $1,700-$2,000+ for the most current bladeless technology PER EYE, depending on how you pay.  By my calculations, this range represents 3-5 years worth of contacts, eye exams, and glasses – not to mention the daily hassle and dependence.  Most of the major players in the game are national chains.  They specialize in laser eye surgery and have the resources to invest in the latest technology.  Most of these surgeons have performed several thousand procedures.  It obviously never hurts to inquire about the malpractice history and experience of the doctor performing the surgery.Two other considerations: approximately 10% of cases require revisions for a variety of patient-specific reasons, and later in life, you may still need reading glasses.As far as side effects, I suffered a small broken blood vessel in the corner of my eye, probably from bearing down on the clamp.  Dry eyes are pretty common as well.  Keep drops handy and it isn’t an issue.  Laser eye surgery has one of the highest rates of patient satisfaction, and it is obvious why.  What is there to complain about when you wake up seeing 20/20 or better? 

Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?

Are you watching?  Please tell me you are watching.  Joan’s got a new program people, and it does not disappoint.Joan moves in with the (still) insufferable Melissa in L.A.  From the get, Joan hates her room and has serious concerns about Dominica, the Scandinavian nanny. Bad-ass granny Joan Rivers is the best possible influence for her slightly fruity grandson.  She’s arrived at the don’t-give-a-fuck stage of life, freeing her to whip a wet towel of blunt honesty to the bare asses of all those around her.  In a sea of bullshit programming, Rivers is a buoy of straight-talking truth.  There are for sure some fake, contrived aspects, but especially on a celebrity-centered reality show, setups are an unavoidable part of the deal. Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? – look into it for sure.  Need more?  On the first episode, Joan gets shut down by three different doctors who refused to do additional plastic surgery.