Tag Archives: Portlandia

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: the birthday dinner

SATC 35 BIRTHDAYI’m all for going big on birthdays.  I’m happy to be included in an ensemble dinner celebrating my friend’s birth.  What I do not enjoy is picking up the financial slack for the other diners.  Explicitly, attendance at a birthday dinner means you are communally paying for the birthday boy/girl’s dinner, drinks, and gratuity.  I was recently at a dinner of about 15 people celebrating a friend’s birthday.  I told the server to put birthday girl’s order on my tab.  Whether the majority lack mindfulness or are just cheap, only 2 people of 15 attendees offered a contribution to the birthday girl’s portion of the bill.  I can’t excuse such grotesque and tacky behavior.  These grown folks should know better.  Err on the side of generosity in dealing with matters that involve communal cash.  Verify the bill is adequately covered including a generous tip for the server.  If you are invited to such a dinner and finances are a concern, it’s your responsibility to budget for you + 1, which may mean you order one less drink or a less expensive meal.   BILL SPLITTER

Portlandia Season Two Curse

Portlandia, so over it?  Lost a little of its zshush hasn’t it?  I’ll give it a few more episodes before offering a full condemnation.  Fickle hipsters may not be so patient. 

Anasazi, the sexy bean


Even though my boutique bean obsession reminds me a little of a Portlandia sketch, I still think we should take a moment with these sexy Anasazis.Quicker cooking than traditional pintos and less gassy too, Anasazis add protein and nutrients to soups, Mexican dishes, and more. Soak overnight and drain off the water.  Add fresh water, bring to a boil, and then reduce to a simmer until tender.  Expect Anasazis to plump and pink when cooked.


2 Portlandia

Thank heavens Portlandia returns tonight with new a brand new season.As many of you know, Fred and Carrie churn out one of the cleverest sketch shows on the scene.  For those who haven’t yet visited Portlandia, grab your bike, catch up and catch on. New and improved formula now includes chunks of Eddie Vedder.  Yum.

Bethenny Ever After: Malibootie

In an effort to test market a possible booty-thickening addition to her shapewear line, Bethenny spent the first several minutes of this week’s episode flaunting her artificially-enhanced ass in everyone’s face.  First Julie, then Ethan, and finally Jason got a face full of butt pad everywhere they turned.When Jason admired her new asset, Bethenny first credited the skating, but when Jason pressed to bang the booty, she had to fess up to her new accessory to his epic disappointment.

The Hoppy family + staff hit up the Christmas tree farm where Bethenny provided a Santa hat to tree farmer Don and forced him to double as an impromptu St. Nick.  She thrust Bryn into the man’s arms, insisted on taking pictures, and cooed as the baby tugged on Don’s beard.  Explain the parental blind spot that prevents otherwise reasonable folks from understanding that it is not appropriate to impose their children on others.After balking at the big city prices, Jason flailed about with the saw, sending Bethenny’s motherly protectiveness into overdrive.  Dawa selected a tree, and while the crew packed it up, Don offered Bethenny and Jason a ride on the back of his pick-up truck.  The ride was rough, but unfortunately not rough enough to knock either of them off the back.Bethenny planned what she thought would be a hilarious ugly Christmas sweater party, and maybe it would have been funny ten years ago when this idea first made the rounds.  Ugly Christmas sweater parties are so over. (Shoutout Portlandia)

Food God Nick submitted his first food blog, and Bethenny and Julie creamed themselves over his sesquipedalian and grandiloquent writing style (two can play at that game Nick).  After finishing an oral recitation of the multi-page account, Bethenny immediately got Nick on the phone, offered him a job with the Skinnygirl website, and asked him to a fancy dinner at Mr. Chow.Nick borrowed a sports coat from his Dad and wore a wrinkly, dingy button-up with no undershirt.  This kid is crying out for a makeover.  Nick, write me, I’ll help you, seriously.The producers obviously put Nick up to asking Bethenny’s advice on his love life.  His girlfriend just left him because he’s an admitted stage five clinger.  Bethenny recommended internet dating like it was some sort of novel concept.  Trust, those resembling Nick have had a lot of interesting experiences with the internet.  Bethenny dished clichéd advice between bites, and Nick politely thanked her for stating the obvious.  An insightful guy, Food God Nick must be using her for fame, because there is no way he doesn’t see her for the insipid, self-important twat she is.


Portlandia, the newish sketch show from Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen, strikes right at the heart of the Nirvana generation’s collective ennui.  My affection for this super clever show continues to grow even though I got a late start out of some misplaced sense of loyalty to Elisabeth MossDon’t miss “The Dream of The 90’s,” a nostalgic musical tribute to the most memorable qualities of last decade of the 20th century.  Portland, where “All the hot girls wear glasses.”

Enjoy a hilarious skewer of arbitrary cutesy animal placement on fashion and housewares in “Put a Bird on It.”

Portlandia.  Do investigate.  Don’t let the collective ambivalence about Fred Armisen’s short-lived marriage to our little Peggy Olson keep you from the funny.